Best Mainstream Movies of 2014

Well, this has been a long time coming. In my defence, for the past week or so I have been out of the state visiting various relatives and friends. And now that I'm back, it's time to finish this last list of the best mainstream movies of last year!

Unlike the other list, this is a lot more predictable. However, it still contains films that were technically released in 2013 everywhere else except here (stupid Australian release dates). Also, a lot of films that other critics have listed are not on here. Most likely because I didn't have to money to see them. But enough introduction, let's begin!

10. The Lego Movie

This was a tough one to decide on. Originally, I was thinking of putting either St. Vincent or Gone Girl in the number 10 slot. But neither of those films gave me as much joy watching them as The Lego Movie. A lot of top 10 lists that I've read have put Guardians of the Galaxy on their list as the film that gave critics pure and simple enjoyment. But for me, it was this one! While Guardians of the Galaxy was a fun film, for me there were just a couple too many plot holes and inconsistencies for me to include it on this list (sorry!). The Lego Movie, while being fun and silly, also took the tired 'hero with a destiny' trope and changed it to make a more intelligent story for both children and adults. And while the ending may have alienated some people, for me it brought back many nostalgic feels, and it elevated the film for me from just another kids film. One of the best family films to come out in years, and one of the most excellently animated films I have seen in a while. Especially for CG animation!

9. Saving Mr Banks

This film still conflicts me in some ways. I'm not sure what I think about the way Walt Disney is presented, I'm not sure if I like how the aunt is built up only for to appear for less than five minutes of screen time, I'm not sure if I like the end shot of PL Travers crying during the premiere. But what I do like about this film is so strong that I can't help but put this film on the list. I love Emma Thompson's portrayal of Travers, I think it was one of the biggest crimes that she wasn't considered for Best Actress at last years Oscars. I love the inclusion of Paul Giamatti's Ralph. And I love the "Let's Go Fly a Kite" scene! The strength of what I love alone makes this film excellent in my mind, despite my doubts about some aspects of it. But the best thing about this film, is that it doesn't diminish my love of Mary Poppins, it makes me love it even more!

8. My Old Lady

Kevin Kline is one of those actors who I never think of as great, until I see him act. And this is one of his best films, playing a man who is plagued by feelings of inadequacy and disappointment thanks to how he was treated by his now deceased father. Sins of the father is one of the themes of this film, and how it can greatly affect the children even after they are grown up. This was one of the most underrated films of the year, not that widely released and not given much fanfair. But I am so glad that I saw it. Kline gives an excellent performance, and is marvelous to watch in his scenes with Maggie Smith, who is excellent as always. Just to add icing on the cake, Dominique Pinon appears in a small role as well! It is a fairly slow film, and one that is focused on character rather than plot, and can be very French at times. But I loved the acting, and the themes that film explores. It makes it stand out from your usual Parisienne romantic dramas.

7. The Grand Budapest Hotel

Ralph Fiennes and Wes Anderson are a match made in heaven! Again, this is just a completely enjoyable film from start to finish, and it just gets crazier and crazier every minute! The cast is awesome, like some sort of dream cast collected from all over the world. I love the set design, and the plot structure, and everything! The love story is suitably sweet and tragic. All the traditional Wes Anderson touches are there, in beautiful bright primary colours. This is one of those films I will have to watch a couple more times to gather everything in, since it is so lush and full of hidden meanings, and objects in every frame! Plus, the contrast between the dark moments of the plot mixed with the bright colours of the set gives me no end of thrills! One of Anderson's best, and one of the most enjoyable films of the year!

6. Her

I love strange and different love stories, and this was the strangest love story that I love this year. I feel the need, after watching Her, to watch some more Spike Jonze films. I like the way he uses his films to think through ideas that are relevant to our evolving society, but also that he does it in a funny, and quite heart-breaking way. I also like how Scarlett Johansson's Samantha grows from just a tool, a piece of technology that is subservient to Joaquin Phoenix's Theodore, into a sentient being with a capacity for thought that exceeds her human companion's. It's great! And it's shot in such a simple way, you feel everything that Theodore is thinking through how shots are framed! If you haven't seen it yet, and you like unconventional rom-coms, then I would definitely give this a watch!

5. Pride

British comedy-drama films based on actual events are my favourite cinematic sub-genre! And Pride is one of the best! The thing I really love about these films is the way that they can take little known events and let the whole world know about them! It's awesome! The story that Pride tells is of how a small group of LGBT activists during Thatchers Britain band together and raise money to support a small Welsh mining town. I wish these stories were the sorts of things we were taught in school! Pride mixes humour and pathos, as only the British can, to make a film that will make you laugh and cry! The cast is great, with Imelda Staunton stealing every scene she's in! This has really been George MacKay's big break-out year, and after this and Sunshine on Leith I hope to see a lot more of him. An excellent little film in the tradition of Kinky Boots and The Full Monty, if you like British comedy, then you need to see this film!

4. Belle

Speaking of films about little known historical events. Just to bring my feminist ways to front for a moment, this has really been an excellent year for female directors and writers! Especially when it comes to interesting female characters, both fictional and historical. Belle is based on Dido Elizabeth Belle, a woman of colour who was brought up in late 18th century British society. Instead of sticking to explicit facts, director Amma Asante and writer Misan Sagay instead focus on how someone in Dido's position would feel during a time when other people of her race live the lives of slaves, while also looking at how women in general were treated at that time and the expectations that were put upon them. It's also a very good look at how the beginning of the Abolitionist movement may have had its beginnings in England. If you're into historical films that aren't just period romances, then this is one that I have to recommend.

3. Paddington

While The Lego Movie was an excellent family film, I don't think it was the best one that came out this year. Paddington just had that little extra spark in it. Call it nostalgia, or a bias for British over American films, but I like to think it's because of the excellent direction from Paul King, who people may remember as the director of The Mighty Boosh. King's Paddington is not a direct retelling of the children's books. There are little differences here and there, but the basic story remains the same. Paddington arrives from Peru looking for a home, and gets taken in by the Brown family (who are resided over by Hugh Bonneville and Sally Hawkins). But it's not a cutesy little film about a bear, no, things get quite dark, especially because of Nicole Kidman's taxidermist villain (guess what her wants Paddington for?). There are also small parts played by other well-known British actors (Peter Capaldi, Jim Broadbent, Julie Walters, and Simon Farnaby to name but a few who pop up). It's just such a feel good film! And the set-ups are excellent, the way the story is told in some scenes is genius, Ben Whishaw is the perfect voice for Paddington. If you grew up with the character, then your heart will melt into marmalade over this adaptation! And if you didn't, then it also serves as an excellent introduction to the characters! 

2. 12 Years a Slave

And now we come to the most difficult film to watch out of the entire year. This is a very confronting film, but one that can also be very rewarding. A film about slavery that doesn't rely on any of the usual sentimental tropes to get its point across. Instead, it just shows you how brutal the experience was. Chiwetel Ejiofor is one of the best actors out there, so it's also nice to see him finally get some recognition. This film will have you on the edge of your seat with worry over his character, Solomon Northup, and what he goes through. The acting all round is excellent, especially from Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender. Like I said, it's hard to watch some of the things that happen, but I'm glad this film exists. There are too many fairytale versions of slavery out there, and hopefully this film will change that. Also, I dare you not cry during any scene with Lupita Nyong'o in it.

1. The Lunchbox

 
I bet that not many people saw this film. Which is a shame, since it's one of the most underrated films of the year, and one of the most ambitious. A love story where the two main characters never meet on screen, that explores how people can connect over food and through words only. And it's told in the least sentimental way possible, letting the characters wants and thoughts come naturally through the acting rather than clunky dialogue or voice-over narration. I don't want to give too much away, since this is the sort of films that works best when you don't know what it's about, or only kinda know what it's about. But I love this film, I love the characters, I love the story and I love how many rules it seemingly breaks with what it achieves! One of my favourite characters doesn't even appear onscreen! We just hear her voice! I say it's an underrated film for another reason, and that's because the acting is so natural. There's nothing melodramatic in any of the performances! This little, hidden gem is number on my list because it tries to do things that other films are afraid to. And it succeeds! And that makes it stand out, and makes it memorable, and incredible!

So, there you have it. The last of the year end lists. Sorry it took so long! I have some ideas for what I want to talk about next, but I won't give anything away! You'll just have to wait and see! Until next time, readers.

Best Non-Mainstream Movies of 2014

The thing about Australian release dates is that most of the Oscar nominees come out in January for us, a month that is usually reserved for leftovers in other parts of the world. Because of this, it always makes my end of year list a little different from others, since I always feel the need to include films that officially came out the year before.

This has also made this years list one of the most difficult ones I've ever had to put together! There were so many excellent non-mainstream movies released (in Australia) this year, that I have been anguishing over the placements of these films for at least a week and a half.

Because of the large number of films that were released this year, and because of my limited funds and time, I have not been  able to see every film. So, if you're wondering why Boyhood, Whiplash, and Nightcrawler are not on this list, it's because I have not yet been able to see them.

Again, my definition for a non-mainstream film is a film that has been released through only one cinema chain, or was only able to be seen at a film festival, and that they must have been released or shown in an Australian cinema in 2014.

So, without further ado, let's begin!

(Note: I have noticed that most of these films did actually come out in 2013. Oh well. Sorry. Blame the Australian release schedule.)

10. Populaire

 
You know, sometimes all you want  to watch is a cute, little romantic comedy, set in the 50s about a secretary and her boss, and how they enter a typing competition and fall in love along the way! This film is adorable, from the sets to the costumes to the acting, adorable all around! I know it's not a deep film, or a subversive film. But what it is is a charming comedy that had me smiling all the way through it! The fact that I also went onto Amazon and spent $30 on shipping to get the DVD after I saw it should also indicate how much I enjoyed this film. And sometimes, an enjoyable film is all you need and want!

9. Keep On Keepin' On

If you haven't heard of Clark Terry, I don't blame you. While his name is probably one that floats around jazz circles, but this trumpeter is still not that much of a household name, unlike Miles Davis and Quincey Jones. I hadn't even heard of Clark Terry until I saw this film, but now I think he is one of my favourite jazz instrumentalists. And not just for his playing, which as the film describes stands out by being so joyous and mellow. The man himself is incredible! CT has taught both Quincey and Miles, and played with the likes of Count Basie and Duke Ellington, and during the later part of his life, he started teaching other young musicians. This documentary is a love letter to a musician who should be more well-known, and it shows off his achievements by following one of his students, a blind pianist named Justin Kauflin. The best parts of the film are the moments when CT is teaching Justin, and just mumbles melodies to him that the pianist picks up and plays over and over. The film also goes over CT's life, as well as Justin's and how they came to be working together. But the most incredible thing is that CT keeps going, keeps teaching, and keeps playing when he is 94 years old! A wonderful tribute to an excellent, not well-known man.

8. Blue is the Warmest Colour

So, this is the spot I have been agonising over for at least a week. And this is also the reason that I hate Australian release schedules, because it means that I have to leave off other incredible films like Snowpiercer since this technically came out in 2014 down here. But after thinking it over, I decided that Blue is the Warmest Colour would appear on this list for a number of reasons. While Snowpiercer is an excellent film and I would recommend it to everyone, Blue is the Warmest Colour stands out in my mind more clearly for being an exceptional film experience. Although, like most other critics I do find the sex scenes uncomfortable and borderline pornographic, the good things in this film outweigh that controversial part. The acting is incredible, both Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos give such emotional and intense performances that they keeps the audience enraptured for the entire 179 minutes. It is also beautifully shot, and I do like the way that the director, Abdellatif Kechiche (around whom controversy swarms like flies), put the colour blue somewhere in every shot. And the way he shot the food! I have never wanted spaghetti bolognese so much after I watched this film! I do regret that there is no place for Snowpiercer on this list, but I am still pleased with my choices, and I am glad that the film instead of it is Blue is the Warmest Colour.

7. In a World

This film is a comedy about the cut-throat world of voice-over artists. That description sounds interesting, but not exceptional. But this awkward comedy also serves as a look into how hard it is for women to make a name for themselves in a man's world. The film follows Carol Solomon (played by the writer-director Lake Bell) as she tries to not only move out of her fathers shadow, but also fights against a system that favours men. And it is pretty hilarious along the way! I really like the way it makes fun of old movie trailer voice-overs, while also celebrating how cheesy they are. I really like the main character, and how she interacts with her family, and her co-workers. I really like the humour, as it ranges from awkward dialogue, to subtle sight gags. Again, this is a fun film to watch and enjoy. It may not be the best film ever made, but to me it is an excellent film that brings to light some important issues without feeling the film is shoving them down your throat. And I dare anyone not to say the title in a silly voice-over voice!

6. Cupcakes

There was no way this film was never not going to be on this list somewhere. For those who don't know what this film is about (and I'm guessing that's most of you, unfortunately), this film is about a group of friends who enter a song contest that greatly resembles another famous European song contest. Of course, they can't call it the Eurovision Song Contest, but that doesn't matter. Everyone who went to see this knew they meant the ESC. Again, this is an adorable, hilarious little film (most of the films on this list seem to fall into that category) about friends in Israel who one day find themselves entered into the UniverSong Contest. I love anything even slightly Eurovision related, so of course I love this film! And I am not ashamed of it! If you want a cheesy, fun, hilarious film, then I would recommend this. If you like Eurovision, I recommend this even more so! And you know what, the song they come up with is actually pretty darn good!

5. The Babadook

For a film that is getting a lot of praise from overseas, it might surprise everyone on how limited a release it received in its own country. However, I do know that everyone here who saw the film agrees that it is one of the best horror films ever made. And I agree wholeheartedly! This is a film that uses the character of the boogeyman to examine how grief and depression can destroy a family. The acting is incredible, with Essie Davis giving an incredible performance, but Noah Wiseman, who plays her son, also gives a very affecting performance. A lot of what happens in the film could just be blamed on the resentment that Davis' Amelia feels towards her son, or the Wiseman's Sam's troublesome behaviour, but both of them are not quite right and get worse as the film goes on. It's a very clever psychological horror film that I would recommend for everyone, though you might want to watch it with the lights on!

4. Calvary

This is a film that questions whether the Catholic Church is relevant and needed in a modern world. And it does this by making the film a sort of murder mystery. I say sort of, since the plot revolves around one of Brendan Gleeson's Father James parishioners telling him in confessional that they are going to kill him, and Father James already know who it is. The mystery is instead for the audience, as we go through a normal week for the priest and all of his encounters with potential suspects. This is a very good character study, looking at how Father James deals with the prejudice against himself and his religion, while also looking at how victims of the church are sometimes unable to let go of traumatic events. The acting in this is excellent, especially from traditionally comedic actors like Dylan Moran and Chris O'Dowd. This was one of the tensest films of this year, and also one who wasn't afraid to question religion and dogma, without providing any r3eal answers.

3. The Indie Vampire Movies of 2014
 
Okay, so I'm going to cheat a little here. This was the year of indie vampire films, with not one, or two, but three excellent films all revolving around the creatures of the night, and made by three incredibly different filmmakers. Since I love all these films, I couldn't bear to keep any of them off. So all three are on the list. In one spot. Yep, I'm tripling up on this best of list, because these vampire films were just that good!

Only Lovers Left Alive

The first indie vampire film is Jim Jarmusch's Only Lovers Left Alive, which I'm pretty sure had the greatest soundtrack of the year. There is so much to talk about in this film. The characters are different from your usual vampires, you really get the feeling that they have been alive for hundreds, maybe even thousands of years. Tilda Swinton is almost ethereal in nature Eve, a vampire who has spent her life reading and gathering knowledge. And for the first time, Tom Hiddleston has kinda impressed me as Adam, a brooding musician who can barely survive on his own, and needs Eve there to look after him. I love the sets and houses they use as the vampires lairs, especially since they're cluttered with books and guitars and other oddments garnered over the years. Vampire lore in this film is sort of upheld, but not forced down people's throats. It's acknowledged, but not made a big fuss of, which is a definite plus. It's also quite funny at times, with most of the laughs coming from John Hurt's Christopher Marlowe, who didn't die in the 16th century, but was instead turned into a vampire! For a more stylish vampire story, with interesting ideas on what vampires actually do throughout such a long lifetime, I'd definitely recommend this. For a slightly more in depth analysis of the film, I'd recommend you to check out Maven's review of the film, which focuses more on themes and all that (which I've kinda forgotten now, since I did see the film way back in April).

What We Do in the Shadows

And from the sublime to the ridiculous, as my mum would say. What We Do in the Shadows had the best premise of the year, and delivered it beyond measure! The film is a mockumentary about 4 vampires who share a house in modern day Wellington. The group's dynamic is changed with the arrival of a recently turned vampire named Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer), and how he both helps and hinders the group. This film, as you might have guessed from the poster, is hilarious! While it deals primarily with how a group of centuries old vampires survive in the modern day, it does so by taking  known vampire law to nth degree and spinning it on its head! In recent years, New Zealand has really come out with some excellent writers, directors, and actors, with the Jermaine Clement and Taika Waititi at the forefront. If you haven't had a chance to see it yet, it is still showing at Cinema Nova, in its sixth month of release! Yep, this film is so popular that it is still playing at a cinema after being released six months ago! Do yourself a favour and see this film! It is hilarious, kinda adorable and very very clever.

A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night

We finish with the most recently released vampire film, A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. The director of this film, Ana Lily Amirpour, calls this an Iranian vampire spaghetti western, and it certainly feels like that. This film is style personified, shot in black and white and features an eclectic musical score. The plot is basically nonexistent, which might alienate it from more mainstream audiences. Scenes do lead naturally into one another, it's just that not a lot happens over the course of the film. But that is fine by me! I love horror films that subvert cliches, and this one does it straight from the title. The acting is also good, with the eponymous Girl of the title giving a very subdued performance. We don't much about her, or why she has become a vigilante vampire, but from a few scenes we get an idea of what might of happened. Nothing is very clear cut in this film, and that's what makes interesting and very re-watchable. I know I'll be looking out for this on DVD!

2. Gloria

This film had my favourite character of the year. An older woman who goes to bars to pick up men, takes drugs, drinks, does whatever the fuck she wants, has breakdowns and flaws, but always gets up back and keeps dancing! This is the woman I want to be when I'm older. The film serves as a character study of Gloria (Paulina García), a 58 year old divorcee, and how she lives in modern day Chile. The film follows how she meets a man, Rodolfo (Sergio Hernández), who may or may not be someone she can spend the rest of her life with. I love how the film doesn't think middle age is the end of someone's life! More of these films are coming out, ever since Shirley Valentine really, where older female protagonists re-discover life, but this is the first film I've seen where the protagonist never thought her life had ended after 50. Like I said, I love this character. Chilean cinema is becoming more predominant, which is awesome! It also means that those who about Chilean history and the Pinochet regime can read this film as an interpretation of how modern Chile has evolved after such a brutal era. But if that's not your thing, the rest of the film offers an interesting look at a woman who keeps on living however she likes! And of course, the song 'Gloria' is in this!

1. Obvious Child

We need more films like this. Films made by female filmmakers that can tackle big subjects while also appealing to mainstream audiences. Films about female characters that don't completely revolve around finding a man. Films that normalise the controversial. But most importantly, films that are excellent comedies! Too many comedic films nowadays resort to gross-out humour, and shock humour, and crude visual humour to try and engage audience. I'm not saying that this sort of humour doesn't exist in Obvious Child, but it's presented as a comedy routine. It isn't shoved in your face. I really love this film, and I wish it had gotten more of a release down here. I love the characters, and how they act awkwardly normal. I love the plot, it's simple and it doesn't say that having an abortion is the be all and end all of everything. I even love the dick and fart jokes. They made me laugh. We need more films like this, because in a world full of shit we need to be told that the obvious child doesn't always need to be denied.

So, that was my list. When writing I realised that there are a lot more comedies on here than on a lot of other critics Best of 2014 lists. Not sure if that's good or bad.

One more list to go, and this last one was a lot easier to put together. Hopefully, next week will see the arrival of the Best Mainstream Movies of 2014. Fingers crossed! Until next time, readers.

Worst Movies of 2014

Well, here we are. Another year, and now it's again time to go through all the films I've seen and figure out which ones were not worth the money I spent on them. In all honesty, this year has been pretty good in terms of films. Again, I found I could not find ten films that I didn't like or thought were awful. So, this list is instead a top 9 worst movies of the year.

Most of the films on this list are on it simply because they were dull. I think that boredom is a worse sin to commit than incompetence, although there are some undoubtedly stupid films on this list as well. I suppose I should also point out that the years most infamous flops probably won't be on this list, due the fact that I have limited funds and I didn't want to waste my money on things that looked terrible. Instead, these are films that I thought might be entertaining at the most, and then they turned to be not even that.

As always, this list is completely biased, and if you liked any of the films on here, then yay! Well done for finding something good in them that I couldn't. Anyway, enough faffing around. Let's get on with the list!

9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

So, this film is number 9 because out of the films on this list, this entertained me the most. In all honesty, it's not really a bad film. Then why is it on this list? Because it's a bad Ninja Turtles film. It takes 30 minutes for them to turn up, and when they do we discover that their back story has been unnecessarily changed and the plot still revolves more around April than the Turtles themselves. Which isn't a bad thing, but in the end it makes the film feel like it doesn't belong to the Ninja Turtles. To be fair to the film, I did enjoy myself, there were some fun moments. But because the film doesn't feel like a Ninja Turtles film, I feel obliged to put it on this list.

8. The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

Okay, let's just get this out of the way. The whole trilogy was incredibly boring! Except for a few bits here and there, like the dwarves introduction and Gollum, I was yawning through all of these films. I even wish that I'd put The Desolation of Smaug on last years worst of list, since I think that one was the worst. But since I can't erase past mistakes, I will have to be content with putting the last effort from Peter Jackson on this years list. So what did I not like about this film? The fight scenes, which take up the majority of the film, the never-ending boss battle on the ice, those fucking deus ex machina birds, the fact that the only female character has to be rescued in the end! To be fair, the acting is very good, with Richard Armitage really shining, and there were a few good bits here and there, like the dragon. But the dragon died so early on! It was a massive anti-climax! We waited 2 films to get to the fucking beast, and then they kill it in the first ten minutes! Ugh! Also, what the hell was up with Thranduil's moose horse? Someone needs to take Peter Jackson aside, and get him to calm down on the adaptations, especially since he's directing The Dam Busters remake. Oh, please don't let that be a nine trilogy of boredom as well!

7. The Book Thief

There were some really weird choices made in this film. The biggest one being having the entire cast put on really fake and distracting German accents. Why? If you wanted German accents, why not have German actors and have the whole film in German? That would make sense. Or if you wanted to have it in English, pull an Amadeus and just have everyone speak in their own accents, or an English accent. It's just a directing choice that baffles me. Especially since, like I said, most of the accents just distract from the entire film. Not that it's hard to be distracted in a film like this. I think the worst offense for an adaptation is to make the book unappealing to those who have never read it, and that is what The Book Thief does. After seeing this, I was so bored by it's shmaltz  and saccharine messages that I had no desire to read the book. And from what I've heard, people who actually read the book weren't too impressed by it as well. And I haven't even begun to address the issues I have with the terrible trailer that accompanied it! But I will save that rant for another time. So yeah, dullness and stupid accents ruined this film for me. And the book as well.

6. 47 Ronin

So, story time. In January last year, there was week of 40 plus degree days in Melbourne. During that time, I saw about five films in an effort to keep out of the heat (I think we must be the only house in Australia that doesn't have air-con). This was one of them. After seeing it, I thought it wasn't that bad a film. A little too serious, perhaps. But there was enough in it to keep interested throughout the run time, and I thought the female villain was so much fun to watch! So, why is it on this list? Because a year later, I cannot for the life of me remember one thing about this film except Keanu Reeves was in it, and I apparently liked the female villain. I can't remember a single plot point, a single character name! I can't even remember why I liked the female villain! A forgettable film for me is as bad as a dull film, and since this was the most forgettable film of 2014, it deserves to be on this list.

5. Grudge Match

I didn't see this film during 40 degree heat. I just stupidly thought it might be entertaining. Boy, was I wrong. I don't have a very high opinion of Sylvester Stallone, he always seems to play the same character in every film (though to be fair, I haven't yet seen any of the Rambo movies). But this film definitely lowered my opinion of him even more! The premise isn't bad, it's just the execution is so boring. The only good thing in this film is Alan Arkin, and that's cause he spends the whole film in sarcastic snarky mode. The other thing is that this is such a blatant cash in of films that came out over thirty years ago that won't satisfy either the people who grew up with those films, or those who haven't seen them yet. It's simply a waste of space and time. Robert de Niro, why!

4. The Monkey King

I feel kinda bad putting this on the list, since it comes from a country whose film culture I know very little about. But I don't think I encountered a more annoying character this year than this version of the Monkey King. Yes, I know he's meant to be the embodiment of mischief and all that. But I'm fairly sure you can accomplish that without resorting to high pitched voices and jerky hand movements that look like they came out of a high school production of the myth. The 3D is also terrible, so terrible that Chow Yun Fat just gives up half way through the film and sits down to drink tea for the rest of it. Or so it seems. The only good thing about this film was the villain. But I don't necessarily think it's a good thing to be rooting for the villain simply because the hero is so annoying you want to castrate him! Sorry China and Hong Kong, I know you make better films than this. But this was pretty atrocious.

3. Interstellar

Dear Hans Zimmer. There is only one person who write music like Philip Glass. And that is Philip Glass. Please stop trying to be Philip Glass. It sounds annoying.
Yeah, this one might be a bit of a controversial choice. A lot of people seem to think this isn't that bad. Good for them, I wish I was one of them. Then I wouldn't feel like I wasted 3 hours of my life, and $20 of the limited funds I possess. You might have already guessed, but I hated the music. I also hated the script, and the stupid love speech that occurs half way through the film. But maybe that's just cause I'm a cold-hearted cynic. The thing I hated the most though, was the length. This film was way too long, and I think that Peter Jackson isn't the only directed who needs to be reined in a little. This film was so long, that the friend I went to see it with actually forgot one of the characters! TARS was the only good thing about the film, or at least the thing that I liked the most (and I just found out he was voiced by Bill Irwin, which makes him even more awesome). But really, there was just too much explanation, and not enough plot. If we hadn't discovered that really contrived stuff about the ghost, then I might have liked it more. But as it is, it's too long and exposition-y for my tastes.

2. Winter's Tale

1. No this has nothing to do with Shakespeare. 2. After beginning the book that this is based on, I can see how the film ended up the way it did. And 3. This was the funniest film I saw throughout the entire year, for entirely the wrong reasons! Since the conception of this blog, I have been waiting for a film to fall into the 'so bad it's good' category. Some have come close, but none as close as Winter's Tale! Where to begin! How about Colin Farrell's hair? This is the worst hairstyle I think I have ever seen in a film. It's so terrible, but it's hilarious how he tries to pull it off! Why does he have such a terrible hairstyle? Because he does! Then there's Russell Crowe, who speaks in such a mumbling Irish accent, you can't actually hear what he's saying most of the time. His character is trying to capture and kill Farrell's character. Why? Because he is! There's a magic flying horse. Why? Because there is! Miracles exist. Why? Because they do! Jewels are important and make glowing cities when moonlight shines on them. Why? Because they can! Jessica Brown Findlay is dying of consumption. Why? Because it's the early 20th century, and somebody has to be dying of consumption, goddamn it! Will Smith is Lucifer. Why? Because why the fuck not! This film doesn't explain anything, and while that can sometimes be a good thing, in this case it just makes the film confusing and messy. But that's the best part about it! Out of all the films on this list, this is the one I recommend because it is so bad it's funny! If you get a chance to see it, do! Hopefully, you'll laugh as much as I did.

1. The One I Love

Again, I feel kinda bad picking a film like this to be on this list, and especially in the number one spot. It's an independent film made by a first time director with practically no budget. But no film annoyed me as much as this film did this year. The characters, a married couple played by Mark Duplass and Elisabeth Moss, are so wrapped in their own selfish desires that they can't understand what their spouses want. Their problems also are just thrust onto the audience, without any build up or time given to their development. It's scenes are very repetitive, and the dialogue can be extremely annoying a lot of the time. There isn't really anything good I can say about this film. It feels so long, the conflict is so drawn out, and it's only 91 minutes long. The premise isn't even taken as far as it could've been! This could've been a really gripping emotional drama. Instead, it pussyfoots around for 45 minutes before anything happens! And, it also made me commit the biggest cinema sin of them all; I got my phone out to check the time. Repeatedly! (It was okay, there wasn't anyone else in the cinema) When a film makes me do that, and also makes me question why I would waste time and money on seeing it, then I know that it's bad.

So, that was the first list! I always think it's better to get the bad ones out of the way first, so we can focus on the positive and not leave a bad taste in the mouth. Hopefully, the next two lists will be out in the next week or so. I just have to go over them again and do some very serious thinking about placements. Until next time, readers.