So, let's not waste time jabbering about nothing and get on with it!
10. D'Artagnan, from the Three Musketeers and the Four Musketeers
This one really depends on which version of the character you know. For me, the part will always belong to Michael York in the 1973 adaptation of the Alexandre Dumas novel. And the reason is that he displays the innocent ignorance of a young man new to the world, the arrogance and pride that his heritage demands, and he does some pretty stupid and shallow things during both the films. For instance, he cheats on his girlfriend (TWICE!) while she's kidnapped. Plus, famously, he gets into 3 duels within 10 minutes because of his pride, anger and arrogance. And yet there is this simplistic charm about him, that comes from his naivety throughout the film. And you also see him grow into a more mature person, while maintaining his charisma from before, though it does take him until the last 10 minutes of the second film. Again, this does really depend on which version you watch. Michael York was wide-eyed about many of the sensible things in the world, but is confident and fairly brash when it comes to sword play and women. Chris O'Donnell is annoying, stupid and can't act, and Percy Jackson.... he played him? Yeah, he was forgetable.
9. Edmund Blackadder from Blackadder
Where to begin? You all know who he is, and if you don't then you have not experienced life! Like D'Artagnan, it depends which version of Blackadder you look at. In the first series he was a snivelling idiot, in the second he was ruthless and after only money. In the third he was aggravated about others stupidity, and in the fourth series he was more of a shell of his other incarnations, but still as snarky as ever. Throughout all series though (with the exception of the first. Most fans seem to forget it exists and I don't blame them. The other series are far superior) Blackadder possesses some sort of likeable-ness that makes people keep coming back to him. And he does have charm, when he wants. He just doesn't really use it because he find the people he's surrounded by insufferabl and idiotic. It might be his intelligence. He always has a smart remark for everyone, and no one is spared his unending wit. Whatever it is, this character makes people laugh and fall in love with him whatever series you watch. My personal favourite is the fourth series, because even though he has clearly been affected by war, he still has the same drives and goals as all the Blackadders' that came before him.
8. Jayne Cobb from Firefly
Oh Jayne. No offense, but you are too dumb to be a bad-arse. This guy has some of the best lines in Firefly, purely from the fact that he's unable to understand half of the things that are being said. So why is he a jerk? Well, he does sell out River and Simon, offers to trade Mal his gun to sleep with his 'wife' (a gun he names Vera, of course) and he's also, well, selfish. He cares about himself more than anyone else, and insults everyone in the series with his ego and stupidity. But then why is he loveable? Probably because he just doesn't know how dumb he is at times, and he doesn't really notice how laughable he is. That, and he does show loyalty to the crew at a number of times, usually after things don't go his way. But he will fight with and for the crew of Serenity, even if he does get on their nerves all the time. And think about, his job in the crew is to fight when he is told to. He could turn on any of them at any time, but for the most part he doesn't, showing that he does respect his team mates. But mostly, he just so loveably stupid!
7. Jeff Winger from Community
There is a character like this in most American sitcoms. The womaniser, the jerk with a heart of gold, the side character who steals the show, and is the only reason you watch the show in the first place. The thing about Jeff is, he's the main character. Hence why he beat out such characters as Barney Stinson and Bender. Though these characters have stories and subplots in some episodes, but in Community Jeff is the leader of the group, so his jerkiness flow into every part! Considering he only started the study group to try and get into Britta's pants, he publicly humiliated her before making out with Annie, he will easily humiliate anyone else for his own gains and yet ... people like him. And respect him. Probably because he does try to fix his mistakes, like in the Dungeons and Dragons episode. He also doesn't seem to mean to hurt anyone, but his egotism makes it impossible for him not to insult someone in each episode. His protectiveness of the group does sometimes blind him to how others feel, and he does spend a lot of time guilt tripping people he has a grudge against, but again, his loyalty to his friends and his charismatic nature does raise from being just a jerk, to more of a flawed and human character that just makes the same mistakes we all do... Maybe not all the mistakes that we make. Heat affected zombies don't really happen in our reality.
6. Han Solo from the Star Wars Trilogy
Oh he is! You know he is. He's in a wreck of a ship, driving around with a giant fur ball (who is one of my favourite characters that you can't understand), he's cocky, egotistic, arrogant and yet... charming? And yes, he is charming. But he is also slightly noble, turning down the reward money, though that could be interpreted as him just trying to impress Princess Leia. But still, slightly noble! And he even stuck around after to help them out, and not really shoot anything... yeah, his ship kinda sucks. As the trilogy continues, we see that he does care about both Luke and Leia, and even more so for his best friend, Chewbacca. So yeah, starts out as a selfish rogue only helping someone for his own benefit, and ends... a little less selfish but still a rogue, helping the rebels stop the Empire take over the universe (of course!). And of course, Harrison Ford makes him all that more awesome.
5. Felicia from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Yes, the queen of bitches herself! Played expertly by Guy Pearce , this drag queen (real name Adam) has one of the dirtiest and funniest mouths on film. (And I will be referring to Felicia as a she, in honour the drag queen tradition, because drag queens are awesome!) There is nothing she doesn't have an opinion about, and she will say whatever she wants, regardless of how people will react. I suppose thats what makes her awesome, but even for all her crassness she does have a vulnerable side. After an attempted rape, we do see her breakdown and show a different emotion from bitchy smart-ass. The film itself is one that is driven by character rather than plot, and through the course of the film we do get glimpses in her life learn more about what makes her tick. What is admirable about her is that after the afore-mentioned attempted rape, she tries to move on with her life and not let it drag her down (scuse the pun). She doesn't let it define her. Also her confidence is amazing! She loves what she does and her love of life is what makes her an awesome, loveable jerk.
4. Rob Gordon from High Fidelity
Ladies and Gentlemen! Meet the man that inspired the list! Yes, I came up with this list whilst watching John Cusack mope about past girlfriends. And this dude really is a douche sometimes. After being unhappy and rejected in love too many times, he comes to believe that all women are all out to get him. So he hates them all. At least he thinks so. So what's douchey about him? Well, he cheats on his girlfriend, stalks some of his exes and when one of them says it was him that broke up with her and that she pretty much suffered a nervous breakdown because of it, he doesn't care. Also, his girlfriend got an abortion because he was cheating on her. (It makes more sense in the movie, so go watch that to understand anything I've just said.) So, what makes him loveable? Ok, I'm going to be honest, we are getting into the tragic characters here. The next ones on the list are fairly tragi-comic, with little to none appeal or good qualities. But what makes Rob tragic is that he is going through a mental crisis about his inability to be with a woman who loves him. This comes from his fear of rejection and companionship, but does this make him loveable? Yes, because from that fear comes an ego! One which he eventually rises above and realises that there are 2 people in a relationship, and he has to stop being so scared. I suppose what also makes him loveable is his change in attitude, he starts off cold and resenting, and throughout the film becomes more accepting and at ease with where he is in life. Of course, his girlfriend helps him and gives a confident boost and the love he was craving.
3. Withnail from Withnail and I
Now we are getting to the real low-lives. Withnail has to be one of the most pitiful characters I have seen on screen. He isn't repulsive, but he quite apathetic and selfish. And I don't mean egotistical, though his ego is quite large. He cares about his friend (only known as 'I' in the film), but only in the sense that if he left, Withnail would be all by himself. Yeah, Withnail is only friends with I so that he has someone to share his booze with. He gets his friend into not very nice scrapes, which ultimately backfire on him (I'd give examples, but it's better if you just watch it for the surprise), he gets himself drunk and high out of self-pity and to try and make himself forget that he is himself. This is bottom of the barrel scum. But, yes, even this man can be loveable. Most likely due to the wonderful portrayal by Richard E. Grant, Withnail becomes larger than life and almost goofy, were it not for his cynical and sardonic nature to tie him to the ground. Is he loveable? Only in the sense that he is a pitiful character, not sympathetic, but pitiful. I suppose this is my own personal choice for the list, but he is one of my favourite characters and, to me at least, one of the best loveable jerks out there.
2. Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf
Yes, the smeg head himself! Oh Rimmer, you are very loveable. With your deep seated self loathing, your subconcious that hates you and your selfish attitude. Who couldn't love you? I don't really want to go on about why this dude is a jerk, if you haven't seen the show you haven't lived, but essentially Rimmer is a coward, a bit of a douche, out for himself, but he isn't really egotistical... no, no he is, sorry. But he's loveable because he's so wrong about everything! He has no charm (we found out he killed it in one episode), he takes a lust potion just to get laid until he breaks his dick. Yeah... this is a sad, lonely and pathetic man, who would sell out anyone to get ahead himself. But he's just so funny! Again, the actor has something to do with this. Chris Barrie is a comic genius, and I'm not exagerating. He gives the role depth, and makes the character sympathetic, rather than pitiful. He also does care about his crew mates, even if they do frustrate him, and he pisses them off more than they him. Yeah, everyone hates him, but all the fans love him, because he is the underdog, and a jerk, and smegging awesome!
1. Bernard Black from Black Books
Oh yeah! End with the best! The funniest, silliest, stupidest and down right evilest Irish book shop owner, played by the king of the drunks himself, Dylan Moran. So, why is he number one? Well, where Rimmer and has some good qualities, Bernard arguably has none, except for the fact that he's bat shit insane. And while Withnail's patheticness added to his character, Bernard is pathetic in the sense that he can't be anything else. He is completely dependent on Manny to keep him alive (how he managed without him, we'll never know), and his only source of entertainment comes from pissing off his only 2 friends. He hates any sort of human interaction, in all honesty, and again, like Withnail, seems to be in a permanent state of tipsy just so he can get through the day. Also, while Rimmer is a smeg head because his subconcious hates him, and he really can't help it, Bernard is a douche because he wants to be. He takes pleasure in other peoples pain. But he never wins, he is the ultimate underdog. I could go into great detail into his psyche and about the fact that he obviously hates himself (and yes, it is obvious) but I'd rather end with this clip. Just to show how awesomely loveable this jerk truly is!
P.S. The pictures were a lot of fun to find!
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