Most of these films ended up on this list for either being boring or incompetent, and in some cases both. There are a couple I will admit to enjoying watching, but afterwards their flaws became more than a little apparent. Some of these are going to be obvious, but there are a few that might surprise people, mainly because they were so obscure I doubt many people saw them.
Anyway, enjoy the first end of year list. There are at least 2 more to come!
10. Lights Out
I saw quite a few horror films at the cinema this year. And this was the least memorable. Not because it was especially bad, but it was just cliched and uninteresting. Which is a shame since it had a really interesting premise. But the explanation behind that premise was ... not good. I would be interested to see what director David F. Sandberg comes out with next, and hopefully it will be more memorable than this film.
9. Childhood of a Leader
I'm not sure it's really fair to put this on a worst of list, since some of my frustrations are directed at MIFF for a technical error that really disrupted the viewing experience. But I think that even without that, I would not have enjoyed this film. It's overly long, and despite it's title, it doesn't give much insight into how the beginnings of a fascist tyrant are born in the childhood. The most insight that the film gave was "the kid was spoilt, got angry easily, and probably had mummy issues". What was supposed to be a psychological study instead became a dull melodrama, hampered by the fact that I couldn't understand half of the dialogue.
8. Suicide Squad
I actually quite enjoyed watching this film in the cinema. But half of that was laughing at how stupid it was. I'm sure most people have already heard the many criticisms this films has garnered; the 35 minute multiple introduction to the main characters, the "let's stop the flashing lights in the sky from destroying a city" cliched action plot, Slipknot. But really what pushed this film onto the worst of list for me was Jared Leto's Joker. That performance was the very definition of trying too hard. I just didn't feel threatened by him! I wanted to laugh at him for trying to be a tough gangster dude while looking like some sort of misplaced Oompa Loompa. But I never thought he was threatening. So, that's why Suicide Squad is on this list. Because Jared Leto fucked it up.
7. Jason Bourne
I think I was always going to be biased against this film since I'm not a big fan of the Bourne franchise in the first place. But this was just boring. I can't really remember anything that happened. My mum, who loves the Bourne films, couldn't remember anything that happened. By the time we were walking out of the cinema, it felt we'd just wasted two hours that we'd never get back. Which is a shame, because I like most of the actors involved. Although this is the first time I've ever seen Matt Damon not be charming in something. And can we talk about that last car race through Vegas? I know that Bourne's an anti-hero, but did he have to injure all those civilians? Not my cup of tea, but it could definitely have been better.
6. Zoolander 2
Again, I kinda enjoyed watching this. It's terrible and it doesn't have a reason to exist, but it was quite fun. I don't really have anything else to say. I don't think anyone has anything to say about Zoolander 2. It's there if you want to see it. Not much else to add.
5. The Daughter
This film was too depressing. And for no reason did it have to be this depressing, except for the fact that it's based on an Ibsen play. I'm so glad I never studied Ibsen at school, if this is what his work is like. I think the other reason I didn't enjoy The Daughter is because there was such a fuss made about this big secret, and it turned out to be people cheating on each other. Maybe it's just me, but I don't really see love affairs as that life changing or important. I mean, they are for the people involved, but it's not like the world is ending or people are dying. That is so cold-hearted, but then again, this was 2016, the year of death. One must harden ones heart against all the shit that happened this year. Maybe that's why I didn't connect to this film. Who knows?
4. Inferno
I only went to see this film because Omar Sy was in it. Oh Omar, you're so good! Why are you in this crap! If there was one good film about this new Dan Brown film, it was Irrfan Khan, whose character completely stole the film. But as for the rest of it... Tom Hanks looked tired all the time, and like he wanted to be somewhere else. The puzzles that they have to solve didn't appear very puzzling, or interesting. The twist was stupid, and didn't make any sense. And again, this really didn't need to exist. But it does, and at least we have Irrfan Khan to cheer things up.
3. Blair Witch
I watched the original Blair Witch Project for the first time in preparation for the new film, and I was surprised by how gripped I was. It's a really good found footage horror film, with a simple premise, growing tension, and really good acting (people give the actors shit, but I thought their performances were actually really good!). The sequel was none of those things. Simplicity was thrown out the window in favour of fucking time travel! (You know a series is struggling when they have to resort to a time travel plot, looking at you Through the Looking Glass) Tension was replaced with cheap jump scares and gore scenes. And the acting was forgettable at best. It was almost the worst horror film of the year, but ...
2. The Boy
Blair Witch has nothing on the sheer stupidity on display in this film. This was my biggest guilty pleasure of the year, one that would happily return to to laugh at. The plot is just so stupid! It doesn't make sense, in the most hilarious way possible. It wasn't really that scary either, just frustratingly silly. If you want a so-bad-it's-good horror film, then I would definitely recommend The Boy.
1. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice
When you go into a film with already low expectations, and then find that the film you are watching has surpassed even the lowest of expectations that there could be, then that film is not only bad but complete and utter shit. What were with those dream sequences? What was with Batman's mummy issues? Did we need to see Batman's backstory... again? And can we please stop casting Jesse Eisenberg as the villain in things? He's not good. I saw this with a friend, and we spent most of the film laughing. I think we annoyed everyone else in the cinema, but I don't care. This film is the embodiment of incompetence, and has rightfully earned its place as the worst film of 2016.
Coming soon, my best of 2016 list, and some documentaries that I saw this year that people should check out. Until then, readers.
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