Margin Call

 

 How this film got nominated for best original screenplay I will never know? I know it's bad to start a review with the biggest flaw of the film without any backstory, but when the worst aspect of the film is one of the most important aspects, there isn't much you can do. So, I am just going to go right ahead and say it. This film is indecipherable. To put it more bluntly, the script is shit!

For those who don't know, this film was based on the events surrounding the most recent stock market crash, but the writer, instead of providing any sort of clear explanation as to what caused the crash, instead expects the audience to know every minute detail surrounding what happened and fills the film with financial techno-babble, that everyone who isn't an accountant has no idea what the hell is going on for 2 hours. So, what is meant to be a probing and intellectually interesting account of what started the recession becomes a finance version of Primer. 

So, can you see my problem? I can't tell you what happened in the film because I only have a vague idea of it myself. I can't even remember the characters names, only the actors who played them. In fact, that was the only reason I went to see the film, because the cast list was so amazing! And the acting was good, given the pile of crap they were told to memorize. I'm sorry, this is going to become a rant in the end. But this film could've been so much more! Anyway, the film begins with Stanley Tucci getting fired and giving Zachary Quinto a USB stick with .... something bad on it? All I know is that everyone gets slightly frustrated with it. (I know the film is rated MA for swearing but after watching In the Thick of It, nothing can really compare) Anyway, Paul Bettany gets worried and stands on top of a building, Demi Moore does impossible sums in her head and actually does a good job in her role, Jeremy Irons hams it up and has the best speech in the whole film and Kevin Spacey gets depressed about his dead dog. Thats about all I remember.

I should probably say that I did see this about a week ago so I can't remember things exactly. But one thing I do remember is the reaction that the whole audience had at the end of the film. So, what happened was that Kevin Spacey's dog died and he was so depressed about it that he went to his ex-wife's house to bury him. Don't ask. Anyway, after a little conversation the film just cuts to black with the sound of Spacey still digging the hole for his dog. Symbolic much. More like pretentious. Sorry, anyway, the entire audience just went "Oh", and slowly started walking out of the cinema in a big cloud of disappointment. When a film has that sort of reaction from the majority of the audience (I'm not a mind reader, someone may have liked it) you know there is something bad with it. 

And this brings me to the other main problem with the film. There is no pacing. I'm not saying the pacing is bad, or rushed or slow. There is no pacing whatsoever. The film ambles along at a sublime pace unaware of everyone is meant to be rushing around and panicking. Because of the no pacing, there is no real sense of urgency and so we don't feel that the problem is as big as it was. Add to that the fact that we don't really know what's going on in the first place, and the film becomes the worst thing a film can become; BORING. But also frustrating. This film could've been so much more, but instead ambles into oblivious. And dies.

Not even the cast can save it, however impressive they are. There are some good moments, and as I said early, Jeremy Irons has one of the best speeches I have heard. but without clarity and without tension, this film becomes annoying and dull. I'm repeating myself now, so I will say goodnight. Maybe if you know about what actually happened then you may enjoy this more, but this is more like one financial conversation after another, that one who is not as savvy in accountant-y ways can neither comprehend nor even give a rats arse about.

Rock n' Roll High School (List movie)

So... remember when I said I had watched 60 films out of 844? Well, some of those films included Batman and Robin, Supergirl, and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie. Yet out of all of these horribly made films, the one that I hated the most was this one. Rock n' Roll High School. And I'm going to tell you why today.

First off, I'm sure some plot would be nice for those who haven't seen it. I would also like to know what the plot to this was as well. It's not that there isn't a plot, it's just you have to find it inbetween all of the Ramones song. Of which there are a lot. Don't get me wrong, I like the Ramones, but when the title song is played about five times over the course of the film, well, you stop wondering why your brain is trying to escape out of your ears. This is one of the reasons why the only people who would like this movie would be die hard Ramones fans.

So anway, plot, before I go off on a tangent again. This has one of those plots that would work much better as a horror movie about an obssessive fan. The main character is fangirl Riff Randell (yes, her name is Riff) played by P.J Soles, and basically we watch her struggles to get to a Ramones concert. That's about it, but in all honesty, it feels more like a subplot than the main plot. In fact the whole film seems to be made of subplots. There's one about her best friend Kate trying to win over her crush, who in turn likes Riff. There's another one about giant rodents? I can't really remember, but what they were going for was the whole rock music corrupts, and decided giant rats would be the best idea.

Besides this, the main plot is over and done with all to easily. They get to the concert. Gee, never saw that one coming. Then this whole other plot takes over about the dictatorial principal of the school becoming even more dictatorial. And then they blow up the school. The end. It tries to be funny in new ways, but in the end they become cliches and go nowhere. Also, there are some really iffy scenes. There's one scene in which Riff fantasises that the Ramones are singing to her in her room. Ok, little weird, but not that unusual among fangirls. Then she imagines them singing to her while she's in the shower. ...What. Who made this! Oh, that's right. Roger Corman.

I should probably explain who Roger Corman is for those who don't know. Corman is the king of B-movies. He is responsible for a lot of the alien and monster movies of the 50s, he's also responsible for quite a few exploitation flicks. Knowing that he produced this, it doesn't surprise me that a scene in which a girl strips in front of three guys, who serenade her, and then follow her into the shower where she dons a towel has ended up in this movie. But it's still goddamn weird!

What this films suffers from the most is the fact that it thinks it's funny, when in all honesty, it's just weird. And not quirky or bizarre, just boringly weird. That's the other thing. Because the film spends so long on just Ramones songs, or musical montages and numbers, it feels a lot longer than it actually is, and the plot goes no where. Ten minutes of the film is dedicated to the concert, out of a 90 minute run time. Again, unless you are a massive Ramones fan, this scene will just drag on.

But ok, the plot was crap and kinda exlpoitative and weird, but why do I hate this film more than the others? More than Batman and Robin for chrissakes. Well, with Batman and Robin, it was god-awful, but it was also funny. It reminded me a lot of the 60s TV series, and was sorta fun in a mind bendingly terrible way, though that's for another review. In the case of Rock n' Roll High School, it's just boring! Cripplingly boring. It's the sort of film you're just waiting to be over with so you don't have to watch it ever again. I think I mentioned earlier that there were some scenes that have been completely erased from my memory, and partly that is because I watched this a while ago, but mostly because it was unmemorable in the first place.

In fact, the most memorable parts were the songs, but that's because they were forced down my ears so many times. So yeah, as I have stated many a time, die hard Ramones fans will love. Or die hard Roger Corman fans. If you're kinda meh about both, I'd give this a miss. In all honesty, it's not that horrendous. The dialogue (what parts I remember) was good, the acting was watchable and it was well shot. But if your film can't hold an audiences attention, then it's as bad as any other terrible movie. Except maybe Batman and Robin. Hmm, could I be hinting at the next review?

Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but embrace your offence, understand it and don't come winging to me about it! Good night!

What's happening next (plus special list!)

So I really like writing actual reviews, almost as much as I like making lists. So, I know I have two reviews from my film group to go, but I can some them up in a couple of sentences so here they are.

Coriolanus:

As Ralph Fiennes first feature, this a an epic start to directing. The shaky cam can be a bit sickening, but it works well within the context of the film. You can really tell it's his first feature, there are many different scenes shot in very different styles and you can see him experimenting with it. The way Shakespeare is incorporated into the modern world is very effective, and shows that Shakespeare's themes are universal and eternal.

A Separation:

Eh.

Ok, in all seriousness, this is a good film, with good characters, minimal plot and themes that one could talk about for a week. There was no clear right or wrong shown with the situations that the characters were presented with. But, maybe it was the hype, or maybe it's just cause these sort of films don't interest me that much, there was just something lacking in the film. It might be because the characters are all almost unlikeable for one reason or another, again I'm not really sure. But it was for me, quite disappointing.


Anyway, both films I would reccomend, though beware of violence take straight out of C.O.D in Coriolanus, and at times in A Separation the characters talk over each other so much you can't understand anything, and the subtitles aren't able to keep up.

So as I said, I really liked doing these actual reviews, but since film group has ended for the term, and I'm not sure if I will be doing it next term, what am I going to review now? Well, there are a couple of things I can do. I try and review other films that I see this year, but whether I do or not is another question. For those few (and thank you to those who did!) who followed my lists last year, you would've realised that I have a bad habbit of not keeping up with them. So I can't promise that I will review every other film I see this year, especially seeing as there are a few I've already seen that I have no desire to review.

So what I intend to do instead is this. I have a list of films that I feel I should watch at some point in my life. It is quite big, with around 844 films on it. I have so far watched only 60. I suppose I should explain how this list came about, but it would probably bore you so I won't. Anyway, the films that I will give an actual review for will probably be from this list. And because I love surprises I'm not going to tell you which ones will be coming, though I will give you a couple of titles that may come up at some point.

Rock n' Roll High School
Dirty Harry
84 Charing Cross Road
Clerks
I'm Not Scrared


So, yeah. That's whats going to happen. I think. Lists will still come out as infrequently as they already are. But remember how I said that there would be a special list? Well, this is it now. Here is a list in order from best to worst of the films I watched for my film group. Yeah it's stupid, but oh well. And right not, cbf-ing the descriptions of all of them, so, deal with that! (They also have little awardy things next to them, cause I can.)

1. Tyrannosaur - Most tears spilled during a film
2. My Week with Marilyn - Most enjoyable film
3. Shame - Most naked-ness in a film since Showgirls
4. Coriolanus - Most sickening shaky cam
5. A Separation - Biggest disappointmen
6. J. Edgar - Too boring too remember

Top 10 Opening Songs to Kid Shows

So a couple of weeks I went on a massive nostalgic trip and looked up a lot of the shows I grew up watching when I was a kid. And some of the openings were the epitome of awesome! So, here is a list of some of the best openings I remember, and some new ones I've found along the way. (Oh, and I'm sorry for using so many cliches while writing. Keep in mind, I was on a nostalgia trip!)

So for this list I went for actual songs, not instrumental openings. So, no Brum or Rugrats. Also, I there are no anime shows on here, so no Pokemon. I also tried not to go for songs that explain the entire plot of the show before it starts. So, please don't kill me for not putting those on the list. They are being saved for other times.

Anyway, let's begin!


10. Total Drama Island

Oh god! Do not listen to this song! If you want your sanity to remain intact. This song is one of the biggest earwicks I have ever heard! It gets into your head and it never leaves! Which I suppose is good, but god it's annoying. In all honesty, it fits the show perfectly. TDI is very loud, annoying and gets on you nerves at times! Yet, I still love it and the song. Guitar driven theme songs are becoming more and more popular, and this is one of the first ones I remember. It also an excellent way to introduce someoneto the show. It draws you in completely, leaving you in anticipation for the rest of the show.


9. CatDog

I couldn't do this list without at least one Nicktoons opening. And CatDog really has to be the best. As an opening, it tells the backstory of the main characters, and explains their odd relationship. In all honesty, its quite a moving theme once you know the lyrics, which tells us that even though their is only one CatDog, they do have each and get along enough to consider the other their brother. However this comes through only when you know the lyrics, and because the song is sung so quickly the lyrics rush by your ears and are fairly hard to understand. But that doesn't make this any more awesome. The melody is surrounded by frenetic winds and soulful guitar, and opens us to the crazy Nickelodeon world of CatDog.


8. Bear in the Big Blue House

This song proved that your show can be made even more awesome with a saxophone. Oh, I hated this show at one stage. You know that inbetween time when kids think they're really adults and refuse to watch all the old shows they watch.... ok, just me then. But whatever, everything about this show pissed me off, except for the theme song. It does more than introduce the characters, it creates a good atmosphere for the show to begin in. And it has epic sax solos! What more can I say, except that saxophones can save everything! I'm serious, before I looked this up again, those sax solos were all I could remember. And I don't think it's hard to see why.


7. Daria

For a show about the biggest character of meh, you need a fairly meh theme song without being meh itself. If that makes any sense to you, you should probably realise why this theme works so well, while still being memorable. "You're Standing On My Neck" by Splendora is the perfect song for Daria, showing us the indifferent nature of the character, while also using a grunge song to illustrate what the 90s were like for teenagers. The lyrics show how frustrating life can be for a teenager, while being sung in such a way that you never fully know what is being sung. Yet that works more to their advantage, and makes the song more interesting for repeat listenings. The attitude in the song also works to introduce us to Daria's cynical nature, from the uninterested vocals, to the annoyed lyrics, this song fits in perfectly with our favourite misanthropic youth.
(Sorry for the backward video, it was all I could find)


6. Fireman Sam

I'll admit that there were a lot of other choices for this spot, namely Postman Pat, Playschool, even Budgie. But I chose this one because it's my list, and this is the first song I remember listening to and actively waiting for the show just so that I could listen to it. Again, it describes the character and what he does, just like many others do. It also describes how good and generally awesome Sam is. In fact, this song makes him sound like Superman! I always remember this song with the animation of the opening, with Sam riding around in his big red engine, and all the different characters having about 2 seconds to make themselves known. Yeah, so this has a nostalgic glow for me, but who cares! It's a friendly and inviting opening, that invites right into a fun and loving show. Plus those electric guitars kill me every time! So cool!!


5. Sesame Street

Can anyone actually tell me how to get to Sesame Street? I doubt it, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is the fact that this song has survived so many series and reincarnations, and it's still the same song! Different versions, yes, but the same words, melody and awesome-ness. There's nothing really anything else to say, but if it wasn't a good song then how on earth did it survive so long? The ending theme also kick ass, with a broken down version of the opening, with more sax!! Loving the sax right now!


4. Phineas and Ferb

Lol, what? That show? That show that was on Saturday Disney? How could you put that one above Sesame Street? Yes, well, it's my list. But that probably won't do it enough for you. Why should I put this newbie above such classics as Daria, and Fireman Sam. And Sesame Street! Well, as awesome as those classics are, this is the best opening song I have heard from the last 5 years or so. While TDI may have been that annoying earwick in your head that you couldn't get rid of no matter how hard you tried, Phineas and Ferb has a song that makes people want to remember it. It's fun, cheesy and performed by Bowling for Soup. Excellent! While the other classics will always hold something special for me, Phineas and Ferb has a kick ass opening for one of the best shows to come out of Disney. Ever.


3. Arthur

Really? You're asking why this is on? It should be obvious, this song is EPIC! Everyone knows it, everyone sings along to it, and if you don't, then you have not lived! This song is probably the happiest opening I have heard. It's boppy, but not overly. It's cheesey, but not cutesy. And it will have you smiling the minute you hear it. Do I really need to say anything else? It's a song about living and loving life, and all that it throws at you. And no matter how cheesey it may seem, you know you love it too much to care!



2. Bump in the Night

Hell yeah! Do I even need to justify this choice? Again! Anyone who has heard this song knows that this is one awesome song! I don't really like songs that explain everything about the show in a minute or so. But this one I can forgive. This is sung from the perspective of the main character, basically glorifying himself and saying how cool it is to hang out with him, a crazy and slightly egotistical monster that lives under the bed named Mr Bumpy, and voiced expertly by voice acting god Jim Cummings. It's fun, catchy and just plain epic, borrowing from motown styles of the 60s and shows off the personality of Mr Bumpy, which also sets the tone for the entire show, a fun little time waster that sticks in your mind.


1. Round the Twist

If you were a child of 90s Australia, then this was the one theme that no one could escape. This opening introduced us to one of the craziest shows created, not really surprising considering it was written by Paul Jennings, the king of weird. The song itself is light and instead of telling the entire story of the series in about half a minute, we are given a song more focusing on the main themes of the show, and letting us know that we are in for something exceptionally out of this world. Also, this is one of the only songs that works exceptionally well on its own without the accompanying TV show. The melody is catchy, the words are simple enough to know off by heart after one listen, yet they get across the zany-ness and all round fun that made the show memorable. Its got the right amount of 80s cheese and 90s pop to make it an everlasting memory for me, and my choice for the best opening song from a kids show.


Well, that's it for this list. Comment, and say your own favourites, or just tell me why mine sucks balls. I still have two actual reviews from my film group, but I needed to do a list. So, next will probably be A Separation (actual review), unless it's something completely different. Until next time, have you ever, ever felt like this?

Tyrannosaur

Wow. This film is one of the ugliest and saddest films I have ever seen. It is uncomfortable, hard to sit through and very, very depressing. But it is also one the best films I have seen. The cinematography is bleak and foreboding. The dialogue is harsh and full of swear words. And the characters are... well, let's just say they are some of the truest characters I have ever seen, with some of the best acing ever in any movie.

Now, this is not a pretty film. The story opens with Joseph (Peter Mullan) kicking his dog so hard that he kills it. And from there it gets worse. Joe meets a woman named Hannah (Olivia Colman), who works in a charity  shop, and slowly they begin a rocky friendship. I don't want to spoil the film, though if you see the trailer you have some idea, but what I will say is that Hannah is married to and aggressive and aggresive man. If you want more clues, watch the trailer.

This tragedy is one of the saddest films I have seen in a long while. I'm not joking when I say I wasin tears from the very beginning. But I found myself crying during the happier scenes, because the film builds such a sense of melancholy that you know whatever happy scenes there are you know they won't last long.

In terms of acting, I cannot believe that it took so long for people to give Olivia Colman a leading role in a film. Her acting here so perfectly captured the pain that Hannah feels, and the reluctant acceptance she has in a loveless and abused life.  For those who only know Colman from comedy roles, like Hot Fuzz and Peep Show, the depth she show in this dramatic turn may shock. In this film she is a woman on the edge, driven crazy by her abusive husband. Peter Mullan is also amazing as a man unable to deal with his grief and guilt and anger, who just seems to be waiting for his life to end on a downward spiral.

When these two characters meet, it is understanding and kindness that Hannah gives Joeseph. But as the film goes on these roles become reveresed as Hannah becomes more dependent on Joe. Remember when I said that these were some of the truest characters? Well, by that I mean that these characters are some of the most human characters to be portrayed on film. Neither of these characters are perfect, or even good people. They both have bad qualities and good. But you feel sympthatic, and in most cases empathetic, towards them because you realise that they are good people who just have trouble hiding their flaws and finding someone to connect with, and are mostly trying to survive each day.

One interesting and unique thing that the film does is  the way it presents Christianity. Most Christians in films are portrayed as pious and overbearing. But Hannah, the Christian in this film, is kind and helpful, and looks out for others, possibly more so than herself. But as the film progresses, we see that she is struggling to remain true to her faith, and it becomes clear that she uses her faith as a mask to try and find comfort from the things that happen to her.

The only thing bad I have to say about the film is the ending. Tyrannosaur was originally a short film that got expanded, and the thing about short films is that they tend to end rather ambiguously because of their length. Now, I haven't seen the short film, but if I just say that the full-length film doesn't end so ambiguously, you should be able to fill in the blanks. I found that I had the same disappointment from the explained endings of some of the horror films I've seen. But in all honesty, the film couldn't have ended any other way.

Will I explain the symbolic and cryptic title? No, not the whole way. What you do need to know, is that the Tyrannosaur is not who you think it is, and you should be able to figure it out all yourself. I strongly urge everyone to try to see this film if they can. It's not for everyone, but hopefully there is something for you connect with. I'll say it again that is is not a nice film. It is incredibly bleak, and quite violent and intense. But it is heartwarming and will remain in your head long after you've seen it.