Problems I had with 'Perks'

Yes, I have now seen the new teen-angst hipster movie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, based on the book by Stephen Chbosky, who also directed the film. And if you haven't guessed from the title, it fell a little flat with me. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. Really, the only compliment I can give it is that it's competent, and even that is stretching it a little. Basically, it just could've been so much more, but I didn't connect with it. And I would like to examine why that is. If you did like it, good for you. Maybe you could answer some of these questions that interrupted my viewing of the film. Yeah, I can't be bothered and I don't have time to right a full review. And I'm just going to guess that most of you know the plot. If you don't, watch the trailer. Gives you enough information on it. Oh, and they aren't in any particular order.

1. Did they seriously not know that David Bowie song?

Okay, this is just me being a little nit-picky and annoying, but this frustrates me. During a tunnel ride, the song "Heroes" by David Bowie is playing on the radio, but for some reason, none of them recognise it. Now I know that the song didn't create that much of an impact when it was first released, but by the 90s it had gathered a lot of respect, and had appeared on about 6 best of CDs by 2002. The only explanation I can come up with is that the three main characters' musical tastes is so alternative that David Bowie has somehow slipped their radars.

2. What happened to Patrick?

Halfway through, after his big emotional breakdown, Patrick (Ezra Miller) just kinda disappears from the movie. And we don't hear anything else about him. We get no closure for the character! How does he overcome his depression? Does he find someone else? What the fuck happened to him! I guess this just shows how little invested I was with the main character that I desperately wanted to know what happened to one of the supporting characters.

3. Was there any point to Joan Cusack being in this?

I mean the actor, not the character. Didn't think so. It's just distracting to see her pop up five minutes before the end of the film.

4. We needed more Melanie Lynskey and Aunt Helen

I really like Melanie Lynskey, ever since I saw her in Heavenly Creatures. And it's nice to finally see her in something other than Two and a Half Men. But the flashbacks involving her character are so brief that she might as well not even be in it. And it would be really helpful if Aunt Helen got a bit more screen time. Whatever we do learn about her is more implied than outright said, and it's just bloody frustrating rather than intelligent. And it brings me to my next point...

5. The final twist is not clear enough to have an impact.

Yes, this movie has a twist. There will be spoilers. I know that it's better to show than tell in films, but the final part of the film really shows Chbosky's inexperience as a director. Because what Aunt Helen did is never explicity said, I was left with an implication that came out of nowhere. This is why we needed more scenes with Helen, so that this twist would fit in more with what we would have learnt from her character. Because we don't learn anything, the twist becomes confusing. Also, because it is presented so incompetently, it doesn't have the impact it was meant to. Plus, it seems to be fairly exploitative, pulling a child abuse back story straight out of its arse. Which brings me to my next point...

6. The movie tries to hard.

Yep. It really does. All the teenage characters are indie, they're outside the group, but all that we know of 'popular/normal' is what the movie deigns to show us once in a while. It tries so hard to tug at your heart strings and relate to you that it loses a lot in terms of plot mainly (see previous point).  And it falls into so many cliches of other teen films without bringing anything that different. There's an inspirational teacher, there's a falling out of friends halfway through, there's the standing up to bullies. In all honesty, it's boring. The one good thing about the film, and I wish they had spent more time on this, was Charlie's family. They were there for him, concerned for him all the time, they helped him through his problems. And I'm not talking about just his parents, his siblings are there too. It's the only refreshing thing in the movie.

And now my last point.

7. When the fuck was this film set!

I'm serious! This pissed me off more than anything! We never got a fucking year! Is it too much to ask for! I think it was set somewhere in the 90s, but it could've been the 80s, or even early 00s. Please, if you do reply to this, please tell me what fucking year this is set in!

Anyway, that's it. I know I should've done a review, but I'm guessing those who wanted to see it already have, and won't care what I think about it anyway. With Christmas coming, hopefully I'll get another one up during the week (if I don't procrastinate and watch Christmas movies all day). This one should be Christmas themed. Until next time, readers.

Dark Shadows

 
Well... it looks nice? Seriously, what can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said by everyone else. It's not a good movie! At times, it's amusing, the scenery is stunning and the CGI is okay. But as a vampire movie, a Tim Burton movie and just on it's own, it really fucking sucks. It sucks so much, that I'm going to be swearing throughout this review! In all honesty, I'd say that this is Tim Burton's worst film.

So, the plot is Barnabus Collins is turned into a vampire by scorned servant/witch Angelique, and is buried in the 1800s only to be uncovered in the 1970s. There isn't much plot in this film, it's more like set pieces made up of failed ideas that roughly convey a series of events and plot twists from the TV show it was based on. So, naturally it's a big mess. My expectations weren't high when I first saw the trailer, but I thought it would be a bit of fun, a romp-like experience if you will. But I never thought it would be so bad!

But before I go into what was bad (and believe me there is a lot) let's see if there's anything good in the film. As I said earlier, the general aestheticis very impressive. Burton always knows how to create these incredible worlds in his films, and this one is no different. Eva Green as Angelique is enjoyabley chewing scenery, and she is deffinitely the best actor. Although, Johnny Lee Miller and Bella Heathcote are also fairly good. The soundtrack is excellent and Alice Cooper steals the show when he appears on screen. The opening 20 or so minutes are good, when we are introduced to the family (and when Johnny Depp isn't on screen). That's about it for praise from me. Now take a breathe, cause this could take a while.

To better explain what makes this film bad, I'm going to compare it to another notoriously awful film, Batman and Robin. One of the main problems with that movie was the dramatic tonal shifts it would suddenly take, causing massive whip-lash for anyone watching. It would juxtapose the really dark and serious moments with really campy and laughable moments. Dark Shadows does the same and it's really apparent in Johnny Depp's character. Also, both films are ridiculously obssessed with family.

 But back to Depp. I'm going to be brutally honest and just say right out that Johnny Depp is the worst part of the film. He was overacting terribly, his make-up was Twilight ridiculous (oh yeah, I went there!) and he didn't seem to be having any fun at all. it doesn't help that his character was written awfully as well. Depp has said that Barnabus Collins was one of his favourite characters growing up. Now, I have never seen the original Dark Shadows soap, but from what I've heard the Jonathan Frid Barnabus was fairly evil, coniving and manipulative, and it was throughout the course of the show he grew more sympathetic and remorseful for the things he had done. It suprises me that both Depp and Burton (who was also a fan of the TV show) could've fucked up the character so much. The main problem with Barnabus is that it's unclear as to whether he's really a good guy or not. He does all these horrible acts (murdering innocent people, breaking Angelique's heart, and she is the more sympathetic character here) and doesn't really feel regret about them, and yet we're meant to sympathise because he's brooding over the fact that he doesn't want to be a vampire. It doesn't make him sympathetic, it just makes him a douche.

So, don't see this movie. I feel like I've wasted too much time on it already, that it doesn't deserve. I did giggle a few times, but they were few and far between. It's a shame to see someone like Tim Burton, who used to be creative and different, fall from such heights and become mediocre. Well, next week a return to the arty with a Cannes film favourite from Turkey. Until then, I've no choice but to follow the call. Sleep doesn't like me at the moment.

Wish You Were Here

So, you know those films that are enjoyable while you're watching them, yet on reflection just don't hold up. Well, Wish You Were Here is one of those films. Unfortunately. The "unfortunately" comes from the fact that this had an interesting concept for a film, but instead the it doesn't seem to know whether it's a thriller, or a family drama, or a character study, and comes out as a monstrous hybrid of all three, that doesn't live up to any of those genres. The main story is about 4 Aussies go to Cambodia for a holiday, and only three return. The rest of the film is about how the others cope with their missing friend. 

The acting is good, exceptional, especially from the  two leads Dave (joel edgerton) and Alice (Felicity Price, who also co-wrote the screenplay). But what's unfortunate (again with that word) about the characters is that they react like humans would react. We seem to like our characters in films to be written in a way that they could never exist in real life. This is very clear in rom-coms and the like, but this has made it so that when we do see a character on screen that acts and reacts like a normal person would, we find it harder to sympathise with them, because either we know people who are really like that, or because there are elements to them that remind us of ourselves. I'm not saying that within the (for lack of a better word) less realistic movies that there aren't characters we can't connect with, but what I really mean is that the more real a character is, the less easy it is to fully sympathise with them. Empathise yes, but we can't really feel sorry for them. The characters in this are trying to be real. But here's where it fails. They aren't given the proper amount of time for their characters to grow. They react how one would expect them to react, but there isn't any heart to it. It's like a paint by numbers in character study, and ends up feeling more like a soap than a really dramatic movie.

But that doesn't mean that the film is completely bad, there are some things I really like about it. The anti-plot narrative is very effective, even if it;s only being used because it's considered 'artsy'. It could've been really interesting to have scenes from the present interspersed with scenes from the past with the same sort of themes or something, but instead we get a juxtaposing mess, and if it was to be played in chronological order, none of it would mean as much. But the acting is good, some of it. Ok, the sister isn't that good, but the rest is fairly amazing.

But now let me get to the worst part about the film, the ending. This is the most frustrating ending since Grease! That is how annoying it is. It's so stupid that I don't care about spoiling it for you! After a lot of kerfuffle, we find out that Jeremy, the missing dude, was killed by the Cambodian maffia. The film ends with Dave giving in and telling the authorities, and he and his wife, who was going to leave him, move into a new house. I know it doesn't have the same impact when you see it written down as opposed to actually seeing it, but believe me its the worst ending I've seen in a long time. It's just so tacked on and useless. The rest of the film is kinda tense, almost nerve-wracking for some scenes, but the ending.... it just doesn't fit!!

Ok, enough ranting. In case you haven't guessed, this one took a while because it was so mediocre. I wouldn't recommend it, unless you have a couple of hours to spare with nothing else to do. The best word to describe this film is competent. It's very well made, and it is enjoyable while you're watching it, but once you leave the the cinema, you just feel like you've wasted a little part of your life. I don't understand the hype it gets, but apparently some people out there like it. Anyway, I'm going to stop. I've been on this review too long. Goodnight and good luck, people. Until next time.

Rock n' Roll High School (List movie)

So... remember when I said I had watched 60 films out of 844? Well, some of those films included Batman and Robin, Supergirl, and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie. Yet out of all of these horribly made films, the one that I hated the most was this one. Rock n' Roll High School. And I'm going to tell you why today.

First off, I'm sure some plot would be nice for those who haven't seen it. I would also like to know what the plot to this was as well. It's not that there isn't a plot, it's just you have to find it inbetween all of the Ramones song. Of which there are a lot. Don't get me wrong, I like the Ramones, but when the title song is played about five times over the course of the film, well, you stop wondering why your brain is trying to escape out of your ears. This is one of the reasons why the only people who would like this movie would be die hard Ramones fans.

So anway, plot, before I go off on a tangent again. This has one of those plots that would work much better as a horror movie about an obssessive fan. The main character is fangirl Riff Randell (yes, her name is Riff) played by P.J Soles, and basically we watch her struggles to get to a Ramones concert. That's about it, but in all honesty, it feels more like a subplot than the main plot. In fact the whole film seems to be made of subplots. There's one about her best friend Kate trying to win over her crush, who in turn likes Riff. There's another one about giant rodents? I can't really remember, but what they were going for was the whole rock music corrupts, and decided giant rats would be the best idea.

Besides this, the main plot is over and done with all to easily. They get to the concert. Gee, never saw that one coming. Then this whole other plot takes over about the dictatorial principal of the school becoming even more dictatorial. And then they blow up the school. The end. It tries to be funny in new ways, but in the end they become cliches and go nowhere. Also, there are some really iffy scenes. There's one scene in which Riff fantasises that the Ramones are singing to her in her room. Ok, little weird, but not that unusual among fangirls. Then she imagines them singing to her while she's in the shower. ...What. Who made this! Oh, that's right. Roger Corman.

I should probably explain who Roger Corman is for those who don't know. Corman is the king of B-movies. He is responsible for a lot of the alien and monster movies of the 50s, he's also responsible for quite a few exploitation flicks. Knowing that he produced this, it doesn't surprise me that a scene in which a girl strips in front of three guys, who serenade her, and then follow her into the shower where she dons a towel has ended up in this movie. But it's still goddamn weird!

What this films suffers from the most is the fact that it thinks it's funny, when in all honesty, it's just weird. And not quirky or bizarre, just boringly weird. That's the other thing. Because the film spends so long on just Ramones songs, or musical montages and numbers, it feels a lot longer than it actually is, and the plot goes no where. Ten minutes of the film is dedicated to the concert, out of a 90 minute run time. Again, unless you are a massive Ramones fan, this scene will just drag on.

But ok, the plot was crap and kinda exlpoitative and weird, but why do I hate this film more than the others? More than Batman and Robin for chrissakes. Well, with Batman and Robin, it was god-awful, but it was also funny. It reminded me a lot of the 60s TV series, and was sorta fun in a mind bendingly terrible way, though that's for another review. In the case of Rock n' Roll High School, it's just boring! Cripplingly boring. It's the sort of film you're just waiting to be over with so you don't have to watch it ever again. I think I mentioned earlier that there were some scenes that have been completely erased from my memory, and partly that is because I watched this a while ago, but mostly because it was unmemorable in the first place.

In fact, the most memorable parts were the songs, but that's because they were forced down my ears so many times. So yeah, as I have stated many a time, die hard Ramones fans will love. Or die hard Roger Corman fans. If you're kinda meh about both, I'd give this a miss. In all honesty, it's not that horrendous. The dialogue (what parts I remember) was good, the acting was watchable and it was well shot. But if your film can't hold an audiences attention, then it's as bad as any other terrible movie. Except maybe Batman and Robin. Hmm, could I be hinting at the next review?

Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but embrace your offence, understand it and don't come winging to me about it! Good night!