Christmas Movies

Well, the temperature outside is frightening, and inside it's even worse without air-con. The beaches are crowded, everyone to flocking to Adelaide (apparently everyone's relatives live in Adelaide) and we are sweating in this sizzling summerland. Yep, Christmas has arrived down under, and me being me I have to celebrate that fact with a list. Of my favourite (but also some of the best) Christmas movies. These are the films that I dust off every year around this time to get in the mood for the big day itself. And let me tell you, this was hard. I love Christmas movies. I love the way they make you fuzzy and expectant and hopeful, and maybe even a little teary. So, let's begin counting down my favourite (but also some of the best) Christmas movies. 

10. Trading Places

Okay, while not specifically about Christmas, and technically covering the whole of December and even into January rather than just the actual holiday itself. But I still think that this film shares some important lessons that this time of year has to offer. Like accepting and appreciating what you have while you have it. Of course, it gives this lesson in the greediest way possible. And the most hilarious. Even though the end scene still confuses me no matter how many times I watch it, the train scene is one of the funniest things I will ever watch. I guess this kinda proves that greed is ever present, even during Christmas. 

9. The Santa Clause

My dads love for this movie has passed on to me. And ignoring the fact that Tim Allen sorta killed someone (manslaughtered, I guess) this is still an excellent family film, with a fairly simple premise; How does someone become Santa? Tim Allen is excellent as Scott Calvin, evolving from a cynical father who is never there for his son into the jolly fat man himself... who through this transformation will also end up never being there for his son. Huh. Plot holes aside, this is still a fun movie, especially during the middle part of the film when we see how him changing affects his own private life. And for some reason, my family ends up watching it every year. 

8. The Family Stone

So, originally I was going to put the 2006 film The Holiday on here, because even though it's too long for its own good, I still consider it to be underrated, in a frothy and cliched kinda way. But then I watched this film again. And it surprised me with how good it was. Sure, it's a little manipulative with how it tugs at your heartstrings, and there are some cringeworthy moments with Sarah Jessica Parker's character. But at the same time, it's one of those Christmas movies that plays with drama and comedy so well. And it's one of the only movies I watched about a family Christmas gathering that didn't resort to gross-out humour. At the heart of it all, this is about a family trying to adapt to change and learn to grow with it. Plus Diane Keaton is amazing as the mother who tries to hold it all together. In the end, this is a very good, bittsweet family dramedy, that if I'm really honest, even got me a little teary.


7.  White Christmas

 

And now we get to my mums favourite Christmas movie. Again, this was a toss up between this one and Holiday Inn, but White Christmas won for one reason. I love Danny Kaye. I mean, Fred Astaire is awesome, but for my own weird personal preference I'd take the versatile face of Kaye over the tap dancing feet of Astaire any day. This is a really sweet movie, predictable as all hell, but who cares. It was made in the 50s! All musicals were predictable then! Besides the opening with Bing singing the title song to the troops in WW2 is one of the best musical numbers on film. Plus, Vera-Ellen's tiny waist. It is amazingly impossible. 

6. Die Hard

I know there's some debate as to whether or not this is a Christmas movie... but fuck you, it's Die Hard! And anyway, strip away the layers, and this is just about a man trying to be with his family for Christmas. Some bank robbers just get in the way, that's all. Besides, what's more Christmassy than Bruce Willis running around half-naked with a gun.

5. Rare Exports 

Now, this is a little obscure. Most people who put horror films on their lists go for something like Gremlins or Black Christmas. But not me. This 2010 Finnish film gets on my list for essentially being a Christmas movie for those who don't like Christmas. This film is about the 'true' origins of Santa, and it is some scary stuff. When it's not little boys about to be eaten, it's instead an army of elves attacking a lonely outpost. If you haven't seen it, I really recommend you check it out. It will help get rid of any Christmas cheer you may have aquired. 

4. The Nightmare Before Christmas

What really sells this movie for me isn't the fantastic visuals of iconic animation. Nope, what really got me loving this movie was Danny Elfman's singing voice. It is incredible the way he moves from singing to talking in the same bar sometimes. And did I mention how awesome the songs are? To me, this is one of the most perfect kids movies. A little scary in times maybe, but altogether fantastic. Jack Skellington has become the face of Tim Burton (even though he didn't actually direct this), and his quest to make sense of his purpose in life, while Sally will always be one of my favourite heroines. Most notably for actually having a brain amidst a bunch of Halloween obssesed monsters. Did I mention the designs in this are also excellent?

3. The Ref

Okay, so we did my parents favourites, and now this is mine. Yep, even after all my talk of heart-warming nonsense, the Christmas movie I like the most is the incredibly cynical one full of Denis Leary swearing. Why, you may ask. Well, because after all the fluffy stuff that came before, I need something cynical to make it through the holidays. Also, not to mention the awesome cast. I love each of the three leads in their own way, but I do have to say that Kevin Spacey kinda steals this one for me. All actors out there, watch this movie and pay attention to each one of Spacey's reactions. There are flawless! And then there's the supporting cast, which includes Christine Baranski (who gets the best lines in the film!) and Glynis Johns. Yeah, Mary Poppins Glynis Johns. Your childhood might be ruined after seeing her in this.

2. It's a Wonderful Life

So random fact time! This, along with Metropolis, was one of the first DVDs my family bought. That was about 9 or 10 years ago, and even though I've seen this film almost every year since then, it still gets me all teary right at the end. I love Jimmy Stewart, and watching him go through some of the worst things in life is heartbreaking. I really don't know what else to say about this, everyone knows it, and if you don't then you really need to! They don't call this a classic for nothing.

 1. Love Actually

Fuck yes! Not only is this what I consider to be the best Christmas movie, but also one of the best movies ever made on its own. Why is it so good? It might be the excellent cast, the best of the Brits you could say. Naming them all would take a whole page. It might be that Christmas is almost in the background, the main plots are about the characters and the fact that it's Christmas merely dictates some of the situations that they get themselves. It might the way it balances the funny and bittersweet moments so well. It might even simply be that not everyone gets a happy ending, mirroring real life, which is something that it's American counterparts can't seem to do (looking at you, Valentine's Day). It's a bit of all of those. My favourite story? Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman's, especially at the end, when you know that they are still trying to get through everything. The other thing that makes this excellent is that each character gets just enough screentime to tell their story. This really is amazing, and if you haven't seen it, then you are definitely missing out!

So, that's it! Have a Merry Christmas, everyone who celebrates it! Have a happy New Years for 2013! And, well, have a marvellous holiday time! Try to stay in the cool! Until next time, readers.

Problems I had with 'Perks'

Yes, I have now seen the new teen-angst hipster movie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, based on the book by Stephen Chbosky, who also directed the film. And if you haven't guessed from the title, it fell a little flat with me. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. Really, the only compliment I can give it is that it's competent, and even that is stretching it a little. Basically, it just could've been so much more, but I didn't connect with it. And I would like to examine why that is. If you did like it, good for you. Maybe you could answer some of these questions that interrupted my viewing of the film. Yeah, I can't be bothered and I don't have time to right a full review. And I'm just going to guess that most of you know the plot. If you don't, watch the trailer. Gives you enough information on it. Oh, and they aren't in any particular order.

1. Did they seriously not know that David Bowie song?

Okay, this is just me being a little nit-picky and annoying, but this frustrates me. During a tunnel ride, the song "Heroes" by David Bowie is playing on the radio, but for some reason, none of them recognise it. Now I know that the song didn't create that much of an impact when it was first released, but by the 90s it had gathered a lot of respect, and had appeared on about 6 best of CDs by 2002. The only explanation I can come up with is that the three main characters' musical tastes is so alternative that David Bowie has somehow slipped their radars.

2. What happened to Patrick?

Halfway through, after his big emotional breakdown, Patrick (Ezra Miller) just kinda disappears from the movie. And we don't hear anything else about him. We get no closure for the character! How does he overcome his depression? Does he find someone else? What the fuck happened to him! I guess this just shows how little invested I was with the main character that I desperately wanted to know what happened to one of the supporting characters.

3. Was there any point to Joan Cusack being in this?

I mean the actor, not the character. Didn't think so. It's just distracting to see her pop up five minutes before the end of the film.

4. We needed more Melanie Lynskey and Aunt Helen

I really like Melanie Lynskey, ever since I saw her in Heavenly Creatures. And it's nice to finally see her in something other than Two and a Half Men. But the flashbacks involving her character are so brief that she might as well not even be in it. And it would be really helpful if Aunt Helen got a bit more screen time. Whatever we do learn about her is more implied than outright said, and it's just bloody frustrating rather than intelligent. And it brings me to my next point...

5. The final twist is not clear enough to have an impact.

Yes, this movie has a twist. There will be spoilers. I know that it's better to show than tell in films, but the final part of the film really shows Chbosky's inexperience as a director. Because what Aunt Helen did is never explicity said, I was left with an implication that came out of nowhere. This is why we needed more scenes with Helen, so that this twist would fit in more with what we would have learnt from her character. Because we don't learn anything, the twist becomes confusing. Also, because it is presented so incompetently, it doesn't have the impact it was meant to. Plus, it seems to be fairly exploitative, pulling a child abuse back story straight out of its arse. Which brings me to my next point...

6. The movie tries to hard.

Yep. It really does. All the teenage characters are indie, they're outside the group, but all that we know of 'popular/normal' is what the movie deigns to show us once in a while. It tries so hard to tug at your heart strings and relate to you that it loses a lot in terms of plot mainly (see previous point).  And it falls into so many cliches of other teen films without bringing anything that different. There's an inspirational teacher, there's a falling out of friends halfway through, there's the standing up to bullies. In all honesty, it's boring. The one good thing about the film, and I wish they had spent more time on this, was Charlie's family. They were there for him, concerned for him all the time, they helped him through his problems. And I'm not talking about just his parents, his siblings are there too. It's the only refreshing thing in the movie.

And now my last point.

7. When the fuck was this film set!

I'm serious! This pissed me off more than anything! We never got a fucking year! Is it too much to ask for! I think it was set somewhere in the 90s, but it could've been the 80s, or even early 00s. Please, if you do reply to this, please tell me what fucking year this is set in!

Anyway, that's it. I know I should've done a review, but I'm guessing those who wanted to see it already have, and won't care what I think about it anyway. With Christmas coming, hopefully I'll get another one up during the week (if I don't procrastinate and watch Christmas movies all day). This one should be Christmas themed. Until next time, readers.

Favourite Red Dwarf Episodes

Hey! Guess what? This is my 53rd review/list! So let's celebrate! With a list! Hooray! I think I'm using too many exclamation marks! I'll stop that now. Anyway, you must be wondering why I'm celebrating my 53rd post rather than my 50th. Well, because anyone can reach their 50th anything, but reaching the 53rd means that you not only stuck out for the distance, but you are slowly over taking the distance as well. Basically, it means I surpassed myself. You should all be very proud of me. And for me, there is no better way to celebrate than with a list. You might have guessed, but I don't really have a social life. I'd much rather sit around at home rewatching episodes of one the greatest TV shows ever made to make for a list that I doubt anyone will ever read. But there you go.

Red Dwarf X recently came out down here, and so that got me thinking about which episodes of this show were my favourites. I grew up watching VHS tapes (tapes that I still own) of Red Dwarf over and over again. I think it shows how much I love those tapes that I still don't own any of the DVDs. Oh well. One day I will. But for now, let's just get this list started. Please note that it is favourite rather than best. With a show that has been running for as long as Red Dwarf has, everyone's top ten is going to be different. So, while I might put one on that someone doesn't like, I don't really care. My list, my opinion. If you differ, good for you. Write up a list, and I may just read it myself.

The last thing that I want to say is that I prefer the earlier series, and even though the sets were pretty cheap, I have to say that the first two are probably my overall favourite. Which kinda means that I don't like the episodes as much past series 6. There are still good moments, and I still do love everything there, but no episode past series 6 is going to be on this list. I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but you'll live. Anyway, enough babbling.

10. Balance of Power / Parallel Universe

Shut up! I know this means there are technically eleven episodes, but I couldn't keep Parallel Universe off here! I love "Tongue Tied" too much. I know the song, and (most of) the dance off by heart! Plus, the rest of the episode isn't half bad. There's the 'worm do' line. But there is some character development seriously missing from the female counterparts. Balance of Power is the real number ten here. This is partly due to the fact that as a kid, for hours I would watch the first tape of the first series over and over again, which had this episode, The End and Future Echoes on it. But while I got bored of Future Echoes over time, Balance of Power has always remained fresh for me. This might be because the dialogue between Rimmer and Lister is some of the best. Their interactions are what make the entire show for me. I know most fans prefer Future Echoes, but Balance of Power will always be one of my favourites. Oh, and Parallel Universe.

9. Legion

For some reason, whenever I think of my favourite RD episodes, or even of the show itself, Legion always comes to mind. And that has to mean something. Well, it is the episode in which Rimmer finally gets a hardlight body! I'm still surprised it took so long. And Legion himself is an interesting character, a disembodied super genius who has to choose between either living with the combined conciousness of the Red Dwarf crew, having to put up with their neuroses and faults, or to live as a diesmbodied supergenius. Such a hard to choice, to be or not to be. I think I just spoilt the episode. Oh well, watch it anyway if you haven't seen it! There's a very hilarious dinner scene halfway through!

8. The Last Day

Now, Kryten isn't my favourite character, though I do love him, like I do all of the crew, and I do love the episodes where his character is focused on. This one was his first big character episode. And he is brilliant! The age old sci-fi dilema of can robots, or droids in this case, feel anything. Well, Kryten has gotten word that he is to be replaced, and accepts this without question. But after a farewell party, he realises that there is so much more that he has yet to experience. And he eventually proves his worth through destroying his psychotic replacement model. What else I like about this episode is seeing all of the crew getting drunk and acutally bonding together, something that they rarely do. And Robert Llewellyn overacting is pretty hilarious!

7. Better Than Life

There are many reasons to like this episode. Watching Lister and Cat bond while pissing off Rimmer. Delving into the subconscious of each of the characters (especially Rimmer's). The jam and ants ending, in which Holly is somehow also threatened. The Red Dwarf crew find a total immersion video game that lets them live out all their fantasies, and of course Rimmer screws it up. This is the episode where we learn about Rimmer's brothers, and how he always felt inadequate when compared to them. You may have already noticed this, but Rimmer is my favourite character, so a lot of the episodes on this list revolve around him. That being said, I do think that this episode also furthers the friendship between him and Lister, though it takes a turn for the worse at the end. A simple premise executed in a really funny way.

(PS. Also check out the books, where this idea is expanded upon in a more serious, but nonetheless hilarious, way!)

6. Gunmen of the Apocalypse

I told I liked Kryten episodes, though he looks a little possesed in that picture. Anyway, you can tell that the writers really wanted to get them off the ship, and they came with a lot of ways to do that. In this episode, we revisit the Total Immersion Video Games, when Kryten gets a virus and the other crew members have to enter a western style video game to get him out. Hooray! Red Dwarf in western gear! What more could you want? But what I really like about this episode is that Rimmer actually acts brave. Okay, so he runs away just as quickly, but he still volunteers to go first. I just really like this one, it's funny and kinda sweet. And I also rewatched it all the time when I was kid. Nostalgia will always win with me.

5. Terraform

Hmm... Half naked oiled Chris Barrie.... That's not the only reason I like this episode. Again, another look into Rimmer's crazed mind. And it is not pretty. And oh my god, the opening is ten times funnier than the infamous underwear scene in Polymorph! Sorry guys, but it is. The Polymorph scene is only funny and shocking the first time. After you've seen it as many times as I have, it gets kinda blase. But the Kryten spider hand at the beginning of this episode is awesome! And the way the episode starts, it's already halfway through the story by the time the audience arrives. Plus, again, it brings on the pathos and poignancy. If you play all of the Rimmer orientated episodes back to back, you get the picture of a very sad and pathetic man who is full of self-loathing and really needs to get over his ego one of these days. I hope he never does!

4. Back to Reality

Yep, this had to be on here. For those of you who aren't part of the fandom, this episode is widely considered to be the best Red Dwarf episode ever made. This is the Wrath of Khan of Red Dwarf. It is superbly excellent in both story and character. The best thing about it is the massive surprise when it first came out, fans were not expecting what happened, especially since it came right at the end of series 5. And for those who haven't yet seen it, I am not going to spoil it for you! You need to see it! For those of you who do know the episode, I'm sorry this is only number four. I didn't really grow up with this one. The tapes of the series we had were out of order, and so half of some series we had, and others we didn't have at all. But I do love this episode, especially the first time I saw it! Thankfully, it's clever enough to watch over and over again, without getting boring. And it has one of the best car chases in television history!

3. The End

Call me sentimental for putting this on here, but I don't care. This is one of the best openings to any TV show I have ever seen. It introduces each character, allows Lister and Rimmer to develop a relationship for the audience to recognise, and then sets up the premise for the rest of the series, which is to return to earth. In all honesty, I think this the one episode I've watched the most. I know I've said this for every episode mention on this list, but I love this to pieces. I don't know what else I can say about this. So, I'm gonna stop. But I also love Lister's shirt. And the crappy green screen effects. And everything. I'll shut up now.

2. Quarantine

Mr Flibble! And an insane Rimmer! That is what makes this episode excellent! I'm not even kidding, the last ten minutes or so of this episode is so funny, it makes it onto my number two spot just for that. The rest of episode is excellent as well, of course. The part in the quarantine booth between Cat, Lister and Kryten is also hilarious. But I really just love this episode for Rimmer in a dress. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have nothing else to say really. Yeah, I put the silly episode above the ones full of character development and excellent stories. So sue me!

1. Marooned

The thing that I love most about this episode is that it's simple. Just two characters sitting in a room talking to each other. And they just happen to be two of the best written characters in television. And they hate each other. And one might possibly die from freezing to death. And one's already dead. It's one of the only times when Lister and Rimmer are physically forced to try and get on with each other, and the payoff is excellent. We learn more about both of their pasts, and about their common interests. Plus, there is still that great dialogue, with insults flying off each other throughout, and the anecdotes they tell! And you know what, they almost become friends. Almost. There is a moment when Rimmer actually comes to respect Lister, and think of him as a great man. Of course, it's destroyed almost immediately, but the journey to get there and back again was worth it! There is some seriously funny stuff in this episode. And I love every goddamn minute of it!

So, there you go. I know most people wouldn't agree with half the stuff on here, but I don't care. I still love the show, even Red Dwarf X, though it's slowly killing me with its cringeworthy humour and forcing of jokes. Because it's December, that means only one thing, Christmas! So be prepared for some more lists coming your way. Until next time, readers.