Mediocre Movies: The Penny Dreadful Picture Show

In case some of you were getting your hopes up, no this has nothing to do with the new Penny Dreadful TV show. This is, instead, a horror anthology film from 2013 that I only found through my new (and weird) obsession with Re-Animator actor Jeffrey Combs. Yeah, he's in this. So is Sid Haig, who I'm told is another horror legend. If you're a fan of either, this film is not worth the cameo like appearances they make. I've not watched many anthology films, but out of the few that I have seen this is by far the worst. So, let's find out why.

There are three horror segments surrounded by a connecting story involving living doll Penny Dreadful (Eliza Swenson), who lives in an abandoned movie house with her friends Ned (Collin Galyean) and Wolfboy (Dillon Geyselaers), as she tries to find true love through a series of internet dates. The first film involves a couple and a creepy Jack-in-the-Box, and is appropriately titled 'Slash-in-the-Box'. The second film, 'The Morning After', is about lesbian vampires in the 1950s. And the third film is a parody/homage to films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, where a bunch of hippies come across a creepy family in the backwoods, and is called 'The Slaughter House'. I'll go into more detail of the segments, and hopefully explain why this film fails. 

So, let's begin with the connecting storyline. This is the one that makes the least amount of sense. And also makes it clear that this is another brain child of Eliza Swenson, who I would have more respect for if any of the films she made were any good. I previously encountered her in the rather boring Witches of Oz, but I admire her for making films and for being involved with every aspect of the film-making process. If only her films were good! But anyway, back to Penny Dreadful.

Basically, the problem with the connecting segments is that we're thrust into this interesting world with these intriguing characters, but we're given next to no back-story for each of them. Why do they live in a disused cinema? If Penny is a doll, who created her? Why is she so obsessed with finding true love? Where do they get the films from? All these questions sort of culminate with the biggest one of all, what the fuck is actually going on? In all honesty, it feels more like an overly long pilot for a TV show that will never be made. Maybe it is, I have no idea.

These characters could be interesting enough in a film by themselves, but because they're basically acting like the Rod Sterling of the film we aren't given enough time with them to get more than vague impressions of them. And a lot of those impression feel really rushed, like the shorts were just hanging around and someone thought "Hey, why not make an anthology film?" and then wrote a really quick idea to connect them all together. It's not a bad idea, to have these three horrific misfits live together in an old movie theatre, but they way it's put together with the segments makes it feel really unfinished, rushed, and lacking. But let's move onto the segments themselves.

I'd say the segments were hit and miss, but all of them pretty much miss whatever target they were going for. The first one, 'Slash-in-the-Box', is potentially the best since it has the added benefit of being the shortest. However, the length is also the biggest complaint against the film, considering it's only about 3 minutes long. Blink, and you will miss this one. It's about a man who brings home a creepy old Jack-in-the-Box, and bad stuff happens. That's about it.

As a short, it does everything right. It has the right amount of character introductions and development, it has a sort of beginning, middle and end, and it follows the basic horror conventions for this type of horror story. But it's not very scarey. And just when you start to get into it, it stops. If this was taken out of the film, you wouldn't lose anything. That's not good when you're making any film, let alone an anthology film. It's so short, that I can't think of anything else to say about it, which should let you know how insignificant this segment is.

The second segment is probably the one that I would consider to be the best. For a lesbian vampire film set in the 50s, it delivers on all aspects. There are vampires, they are lesbians, and it's set in the 50s, what more could you want? The basic story revolves around Alice (Samantha Soule), who wakes up with a major hangover and an unclear memory of the night before. As we learn more about what happened to her, and what is currently happening to her body, we come to understand that she made a deal with shady lady Jez (Ramona Mallory) as a means to escape her otherwise dull life and even duller fiance.

The reason I would consider this one the best out of the three is that it is the most interesting in terms of story. Being a short, it can't go into too much detail about the characters back-stories, but we get enough to know why Alice would make the choice she makes. The acting is also the best, it's more naturalistic than other parts of the film. And the setting is very realistic as well. It's not perfect, some characters are flat (especially the fiance), and there are some unbelievable moments towards the end. But all in all, I didn't mind this one. It would make a very interesting longer feature I reckon.

And now we come to the one I was looking the most forward to, 'The Slaughter House'. A group of hippies/college students/friends are forced to find shelter with a creepy family after their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. After arriving at the family home, the evening goes from creepy to disturbing as a series of morbid games are played between the friends and the family. I'm trying not to give away the twist here, so I'm sorry if I'm being vague about details and stuff. I also can't remember any of the characters names, which is another reason for the vagueness.

So, I'm going say it first. Jeffrey Combs is the best thing about this segment, but Sid Haig is the only one who leaves with any shred of dignity. I'm conflicted by this one. On the one hand, it's an interesting take on typical slasher films like Texas Chainsaw and derivatives. But I already have Tucker and Dale vs. Evil for a film that subverts the backwoods crazy family sub-genre. The biggest beef I have with this segment is that it feels unnecessarily mean spirited at time. And they also try to make torture funny... without being goofy.... it doesn't work. Most of the characters come across as incredibly unlikeable, so you don't really care what happens to them, and you almost want some of them to die. That's not good when they're your main characters.

In the end, this segment conflicts me. On the one hand, it is an interesting take on the backwoods, inbred crazy family. On the other hand, the mean spirited nature of some of it makes it hard to watch at times, and really get into it. And Jeffrey Combs is really wasted here, despite being hilarious!

And now we come to the question of whether this is mediocre or not? Well, it's not so much mediocre as a hot confusing mess of half-baked ideas that don't fully come together clearly. The nicest thing I can say about it is that the attention to detail in the sets and costumes are really good, but I would not recommend this for everyone. If you like horror anthologies, maybe you'll like this. If you're a Jeffrey Combs fan, it's cool to see him a role that I don't think he's done before. But again, it's not really worth watching the whole film for what basically amounts to an large-ish cameo.

I don't really know if I'd recommend it to anyone actually. If you're interested, you won't lose anything from watching it (except maybe 2 hours of your life), but generally I would not rate this one very high. It won't please more hard-core horror fans, and if you're a more casual watcher to the genre, then this might be too dark, though most of the gore does happen off-screen (or is so stupidly fake it doesn't shock). But yeah, this mediocre. I hope the next project that Eliza Swenson is working on is better than her previous endeavours.

This will probably be the last post I make before MIFF. This year, I am incredibly lucky to be going to see ten films from the program! I'm very excited, there are some really interesting films this year. Hopefully (not promising anything), I will do blogs on each of the films I see. I guess we'll find out when I get to them. Until next time, readers.

Best Animated Films - Not from the Big 5

I love animated films. I love the worlds people can create, the larger than life characters, the fun of it all. With the right imagination, an animated film can take you anywhere. So, I thought it would be a good idea to write a list. But not your ordinary list, if I just did an ordinary list of animated movies then it would be dominated by Pixar, Disney, and Dream Works. So instead, I went out of my way to put films on here that are not a part of the five biggest animated studios in the hope that it would expand peoples horizons or something like that.

First things first, the studios I've identified as the five biggest animated studios are:
Disney
Pixar
Dream Works
Ghibli
and Aardman.

So, no Miyazaki, no Wallace and Gromit, a lot of films I'm sure most of you haven't heard of, and now I'm just blabbering. Let's begin!

10. The Princess and the Cobbler (1993)

I took a long time agonising over whether or not I should put this one on the list, since it was released through Miramax, which is owned by Disney. But in the end, my nostalgia won me over. This is one of the first films I remember watching, and after re-discovering it years later I can see that it is not the best movie ever made. The plot is odd, the characters a little one note, and the songs are pretty awful. and don't get me started on the troubled production history. I could go into a lot of detail about the back-story to this film (it did take 28 years to get finished and released), but I'm not going to. Instead, all I will say is what makes it stand out is the animation. It is one of the most beautiful messes you will ever see, with one of the best chase scenes I have ever seen in cinema, let alone animated. So yeah, this one is a little indulgent. But I don't really care. I love this film and its animation, and I don't think I will ever stop.

9. Despicable Me (2010)

If adorable was a film, this would be it. What makes this film work so well is the way it combines slapstick and physical comedy with a really good script and characters. Plus, it's refreshing to see an animated film about parenting and fatherly love rather than romantic love (though that's thrown out the roof in the sequel, but the sequel is still good). And then there are the minions. I love these guys, they overstay their welcome slightly in the sequel, but here there is just the right amount of silly. This is a pretty perfect film for any family, no matter how old. I even managed to persuade my mum to watch it with me. Now that is incredible.

8. Sita Sings the Blues (2008)

I love how the poster calls this the greatest break-up story ever told, cause it really is. So, putting it simply, this is a retelling of the Ramayana using the songs of Annette Hanshaw intercut with the directors own disintegrating marriage and subsequent divorce. And it's free, the whole thing, on youtube. Go see it. You will not see anything like it. The animation here is really well done, with three distinct styles for each of the segments; cutouts for the telling and discussion of the Ramayana, this really cool vector-like artwork for the musical numbers, and a rougher, sketchier style for the modern day parts. It's possibly the second weirdest film on this list, but if you have any interest in Indian mythology, then it is definitely worth a watch. Plus the musical numbers are really fun.

7. Persepolis (2007)

So, I'm sure a few of you have heard of this one. It made quite a splash when it first came out, and despite only watching this recently I can see why. For starters, it happens to be an autobiographical animated film, directed by the original graphic novel's author, Marjane Satrapi. That in itself is unique enough. But then it also happens to be a coming of age story set against the backdrop of the Iranian Revolution. This is not an easy, popcorn film. But it is excellent. The animation style is really fluid and the designs are fairly simple, but that works in its favour since more flashy designs would get in the way of the story. If you want something a little more serious, that looks at recent history from a personal view-point, then I would definitely recommend this.

6. The Secret of Kells (2009)

I wish there were more historical, fantasy animated movies like this, because this film is beautiful! It's so gorgeous! The animation style takes inspiration from not only other animated films like The Princess and the Cobbler, but also from those big, old, Latin books that were held in monasteries and written out by hand and had gold leaf covering the borders! The story itself draws on both Celtic and Christian mythologies, centering around the book of Kells, which is an illuminated gospel book. It's really interesting the way Christian and Celtic ideas interact in 8th century Ireland, and you come away from the film with the feeling that both worlds need to co-exist and continue through the ages. It really is a fascinating film, with excellent characters that I love coming back to. And I haven't even gotten to the music! Definitely one to check out!

5. Yellow Submarine (1968)

This wasn't my first introduction to the Beatles (we'll get to that another day), but this certainly helped cement my love for the band. I think as a six year-old though, a lot of psychedelic imagery went over my head. Now, of course, I can watch this and love all the techniques that they used to create an incredibly different animated film, especially for 1968. There isn't that much plot, the film sort of jumps from song sequence to song sequence, showing off as many Beatles songs as they can. Which is completely fine with me. I think each of the song sequences work well for the songs they are put with. The one that stands out the most for me is 'Eleanor Rigby', I think this film matched the melancholy of the song just right. If you're a Beatles fan then you have to see this. And if you're not a fan, see it anyway! It may change your mind!

4. Coraline (2009)

If I didn't make it abundantly clear in my ParaNorman review, Laika is my new favourite animation studio. Their first film is dark, foreboding, tense, and a lot safer for kids that its source material, in all honesty. (Seriously, the book is so much freakier, but what do you expect from Neil Gaiman.) Coraline Jones is an excellent heroine, and her adventure is at turns spine-tingling and hilarious. I really love French and Saunders doing the voices for Miss Spink and Miss Forcible. And the design of both worlds created here is really stunning. Stop-motion animation at its most impressive. This is why I love animated films, because you get glimpses of worlds that couldn't be created in any other way.

3. Mary and Max (2009)

Wow, 2009 really was the year for excellent animation! Especially stop-motion. This is the first feature film from Adam Elliot, who created the incredible short Harvey Krumpet. Both use very exaggerated, almost grotesque character designs, and both mix deep pathos with witty humour. It's very dry, and very Australian. You will cry during this film. I know I did, and so did my mum. The story is fairly simple. It's a retelling of a correspondence between lonely Australian girl, Mary, and even lonelier American, Max, who has Asperger syndrome. Again, not an altogether easy film to watch due to heavy subject matter, but there are frequent moments of humour that lighten it, and the relationship between these two misfits is so compelling. One of the best Australian films ever made, in my opinion.

2. The Iron Giant (1999)

Yep, the film that made everyone in the 90s cry while simultaneously destroying Warner Bros. animation studio. I'm glad that nowadays it is seen as a classic. This film, it's just so nearly perfect. (No film is perfect, perfection is a myth. Nearly perfect is the next best thing.) The giant robot is awesome, the voice acting is excellent, the animation is beautifully created. I really can't fault it, except it's so darn sad! It's also a really smart film, and has themes and scenarios that might go over a lot of really little kids heads. Which is probably why it failed on its first release. But now, all those kids are grown up and they love it. Me included.

1. The Triplets of Belleville (2003)

I honestly don't know how to explain this movie. I could tell you the plot, but the film has a greater impact if you don't know what's going to happen. I will say that bikes are involved. And the most bad-ass grandmother that ever lived. Seriously, see it for the grandmother. She paddle-boats all the way to New York. She is that amazing. The animation is, once again, kinda grotesque. But absolutely incredible. It's so fluid and quick, and given some of the sequences, it's really astounding how quick the animation turned out. Yeah, I know I'm not really selling this film. And you're probably thinking 'Why should this be number one?' Well, this is the most interesting, different, uniquely animated, insane film, with amazing characters, and a plot that must've been thought up whilst on some kind of substance. It's ... it's leaving me wordless. That is how brilliant this is! See it! See it now!!

So, there's that list. I'm sure some of them you would've guessed. I hope a couple were a bit of a surprise. I hope to get another one out during the break, but I'm not making any promises. Until next time, readers.

Favourite Quentin Tarantino Characters

I haven't really talked about my love/hate relationship with Tarantino. It basically goes like this; I really like most of his films, but I don't particularly like the man behind the camera. He just seems like a bit of a jerk. But I can't deny his influence on the film industry and I do genuinely enjoy the majority of his films. There are a couple I don't like as much, but that's more down to personal taste than anything else. And I do think he knows how to write some very interesting and memorable characters. So here's some of my favourites, because I haven't done enough lists already recently. Anyway, enjoy!

10. Mr Pink from Reservoir Dogs

In all honesty, if they released a film that was just Steve Buscemi complaining for 90 minutes, I would go and see it. I'm not the biggest fan of Reservoir Dogs, I think it's an okay film but not the most brilliant ever made, so I haven't seen that many times. But Mr Pink is pretty much the reason as to why I keep re-watching this film, and I think a lot of that is Steve Buscemi being awesome. It's also because his character is pretty much the only one who survives that we don't much about, except that he doesn't tip waitresses. And I always liked slightly mysterious characters as opposed to one where we know a lot of their back story. Also, Steve Buscemi.

9. Sex Machine from From Dusk Til Dawn

The only character to appear on this list from a film that Tarantino scripted rather than directed, and I have two words as to why he should on this list; crotch gun. Motherfucking crotch gun. Also, for a role that is so small, only Tom Savini could've played him with as much gusto to make him memorable. And you can tell that Savini is just having so much with the role. So yeah, not much to this character except an awesome name and a motherfucking crotch gun, but sometimes that's all you need.

8. The Wolf from Pulp Fiction

Harvey Keitel is one of those actors who can never be uncool, and Winston Wolfe is the epitome of cool. And he's the one of the only people who can talk down to Samuel L. Jackson and survive with his dignity intact. While the cleaner character has been used before (Tarantino has said that Jean Reno's character from La Femme Nikita was an influence), but I doubt he has ever been as suave as he is in Pulp Fiction. Even though he only appears for a brief time at the end, he is one of the best characters in the film.

7. Calvin Candie from Django Unchained

I don't know any other actor who could create a villain so sleazy, racist, disgusting (both ethically and physically) and yet still retain some atom of charm. Leonardo DiCaprio created a villain that everyone should've hated, and yet people couldn't help but like him. And I think that it's down to the performance. If it had been any less over the top and flamboyant, then I doubt people would've enjoyed this character as much as they. Certainly I enjoyed watching him, although there was this little voice in the back of my head telling me I shouldn't. But I did. Damn Tarantino.

6. Aldo Raine and Shosanna Dreyfus from Inglourious Basterds

Yeah, I couldn't choose between these two awesome people from possibly my favourite Tarantino film (there is still a debate going on in my mind). And I don't think you could have two characters who are as different as these two are. First up, Lt. Aldo Raine, a man who would rather bash you over the head with a machine gun than ask questions, whose incompetence when it comes to blending in is only matched by his enthusiasm for scalping Nazis. In short, a man who prefers strength over tactics. And then there's Shosanna Dreyfus, probably the only Jewish person to ever survive a visit from Hans Landa, and then, when the opportunity arises, concocts a revenge plot to kill off all of the most important officials in Germany by burning down her only source of economic security. And she almost gets away with it! Shosanna makes up for the subtlety that Raine lacks in bucket loads. If only Daniel Bruhl and his dimples hadn't interfered. 

5. The Bride from Kill Bill vols. 1&2

The Bride is one of those characters who always comes into my head whenever I think of strong female characters. And there are many reasons why. Getting attacked before her wedding by her former accomplices, falling into a coma for four years, having her baby taken away from her and waking up to find out that she's been repeatedly raped by one of the orderlies is enough to make anyone want to crawl into the ocean and never come out. But not the Bride, who instead goes on a massive revenge spree, taking out each of her former allies. She's not called the deadliest woman in the world for nothing.

4. Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction

Jules is another one of those characters who oozes coolness out of his boots, and part of that is due to the fantastic and iconic speech he delivers in two very different situations. It also helps that he's played by Samuel L. Jackson, who can be both threatening and charming at the same time. The segments that he's in are my favourite in Pulp Fiction, and it's mainly due to Jackson's complete presence. When he's on screen, you don't watch anyone else. At least, I certainly don't. And out of the multitude of parts he's had in Tarantino's films, Jules is by far my favourite.

3. O-Ren Ishii from Kill Bill vol. 1

I don't think I've yet had the pleasure to talk about how much I love Lucy Liu. I think she's one of the most awesome actors around, and it just takes her name to make me want to see something. I put O-Ren above the Bride partly for this reason, but also because I just love this character. Which a back story of revenge much like the Bride's, she becomes the head of the Tokyo Yakuza, and kicks arse in board meetings against idiotic douchebags.

2. Col. Hans Landa

The choice between number 1 and number 2 was a tough, but I went with my gut instinct and this is the result. Again, a villain no one should really like and yet he was the most popular character in the film, and Christoph Waltz won an Oscar for this. Of course, being played by someone like Christoph Waltz certainly helps. But the writing for this character also gives him something that Calvin Candie lacked; depth. There is something to this character that makes him intriguing, especially towards the end of the film. He's an opportunist of every sense of the word, and when he knows that the Nazi party is going to fail, he looks for a way out. Which makes him even more despicable, if you think about it. But this is what makes him different and ultimately one of the best characters that Tarantino has ever written.

1. Jackie Brown from Jackie Brown

I've talked about coolness throughout this list, but I don't think anyone can beat Pam Grier when it comes to being cool. So, if you hadn't already guessed it, Jackie Brown is also possibly my favourite Tarantino movie (that debates still going on). And it's mainly for this character, who I think is one of the smartest characters in the Tarantino-verse. When you consider how many people she manipulated to get what she wanted, and when she must've started planning all the events of the film, it makes you realise how cunning she really is. Apart from that, she feels like an actual person, having kick-ass moments then vulnerable moments, feeling confident one minute and scared the next. I love women who wield swords and defy physics with their fighting skills, but it's characters like this who I really love. Characters who feel like real people, and that's why Jackie Brown is number 1.

I'm going to have to do a proper blog on Jackie Brown one day. But until then, I hoped you enjoyed this, I hope I didn't piss too many people off. Keep in mind, these are my favourites, my opinion. And if you don't agree, then good for you. Until next time, readers.

Best Films of 2013 - Non-Mainstream Edition

Finally, we come to our last list. These are the films that were either (pretty much) exclusive to one cinema or that I saw in a film festival. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get these all done, but technical difficulties and the weather got in the way of me finishing earlier. Anyway, I hope you like the final list. And just another reminder that while some of these films may have come out in 2012, or even 2011, in other countries, they all premiered in Australia in 2013. Enough stalling, let's get on with it.

10. Barbara

I originally didn't expect this film about life in East Germany in 1980 to appear on this list, but for some reason I kept coming back to it, for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's set in the country-side, rather than East Berlin or one of the other major cities, which is rare for films dealing with this period in history. Second, the acting is excellent, especially Nina Hoss as the titular character, and Ronald Zehrfeld as her co-worker, Andre. And thirdly, this is the least sensational film I have seen this year. There aren't sweeping scores highlighting the longing looks that the characters give, there aren't any sentimental goodbyes and I love you's that take 10 minutes. No, instead we get a very honest and realistic look at what it was like to live during a time where you could be arrested at any moment by anyone you know. And it's that honesty that has made the film stick with me.

9. Gentlemen of Fortune

This Russian film is so unknown that not only does it not have a Wikipedia article, but from what I've seen it doesn't have a IMdB page either. Which is a shame, because this is a hilarious film. A remake of a classic 1972 Russian caper movie, we follow children's party entertainer Lesha (Sergei Bezrukov) as he gets mistaken for a notorious criminal, Smiley (also Sergei Bezrukov). Shenanigans and mistaken identity fun stuff ensue. Again, a film that I had fun watching gets on this list. All praise should go to Bezrukov for pulling off two completely different characters so well. And if you're looking for a funny little movie to pass the time, then this should do nicely.

8. The Hunt

Mads Mikkelsen has had an excellent year. Not only with the incredible TV version of Hannibal, but also this film from Thomas Vinterberg that spent months at Nova. The premise might turn some people off (trigger warning: suspected child abuse) but once you go see the film, you realise that it's actually about something else; the prejudice an entire town can create around one person. I don't want to say much more about it, because this is one film where you don't want to know too much. I will say this though, while most people might consider The Conjuring to have the biggest scares this year, this is the film that had me exclaiming in the cinema. And not because it's scary, but because it comes out of nowhere. Horror directors should watch this film and take notes.

7. Kill Your Darlings

Anyone who thinks that Daniel Radcliffe can't act needs to see this film. After the great disappointment that was On the Road in 2012, this film was needed to restore my interest in the beat generation. If you don't know anything about the beat generation, then this is as good a film as any to introduce you to the key players and their ideals, whilst also showing how the group almost fell apart due the actions of Lucien Carr (Dane DeHaan). Again, I don't want to give too much of the plot away, but needless to say it is an interesting look at that time in America, and how society reacted to certain things as well as a look into how one of the most influential movements started.

6. 20 Feet From Stardom

A celebration of the women who probably worked the hardest in the music industry and yet got hardly any recognition. This documentary looks at a few key back-up singers from the past 60 years or so and how they all tried to break away from being at the back, but few of them find any success at the front. The talent in this movie is incredible, from the unstoppable Darlene Love, who is now 70-ish, to the incredible Lisa Fischer, who has a voice that could rival both Ella Fitzgerald and Aretha Franklin. It doesn't paint a particularly pleasant light on the record industry and how they treated these women, but the way each of them get back up to perform again and again is inspiring. A must watch for anyone interested in music.

5. Broken

I already did a review of this! This film is excellent, Tim Roth and Rory Kinnear are two of my favourite actors, Cillian Murphy is the cherry on top. But of course, all the praise and awards should go to Eloise Laurence who creates a character that is a joy to watch and completely sympathetic as well. Seriously, read the review I did on this one, my brain is melting. Fucking weather.

4. First Position

 So, not only was this a year of excellent genre films but it was also a year of excellent documentaries. And this one was my favourite. This is a very well put together film, following 6 young dancers as they compete in the Youth America Grand Prix. You get so drawn into each of these characters worlds and why they are doing what they doing. All the passion that each performer brings is inspiring and you want them all to succeed so badly. It's rare that a film can draw you in so much, but this film does. If you like dancing, then I'd recommend this film. Hell, if you like watching films in general, I recommend this. It's inspiring, beautiful and unforgettable.

3. Compliance

This was one of the first films I saw in 2013. Considering that I can still remember chills running up and down my arms after almost a year later, I'd say that automatically puts this on the best of list. Again, this is one of those films where the less you know the better. But to give you some idea of what it's about, the film centres on how easy it is to manipulate people into carrying out whatever it is you want. The acting is superb, and the pacing is also really good, moving the film forward just quickly enough, but neither rushing nor going to slowly. If you're looking for a good thriller, then this is the best that last year had to offer.

2. Blancanieves

Pablo Berger must've kicked himself when The Artist came out only a few months before this film was finished. But in all honesty, I would call this the better film. The Artist was good, but it was a very Hollywoodenised movie. Blancanieves on the other hand is more artistic and a lot more interesting. It's the only adaptation of Snow White that I've seen where I've actually felt threatened by the stepmother (played wonderfully by Maribel Verdu) and the only one brave enough to not include a handsome prince character and instead make the romantic relationship between Snow White and one of the dwarves. The acting is incredible, it's so good that you can almost watch the film without the intertitles. And it looks absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, do yourself a favour and checkout this underrated gem. It is twice the film The Artist ever hoped to be.


1. National Theatre 50 Years on Stage

Nup. Don't care if you say this doesn't count. This was amazing. It was the best thing I saw last year, period. And it deserves to be number one. So, if you don't know what this was, the National Theatre of Great Britain turned 50 last year, and they decided to put on a showcase of the best works performed with the best actors performing them. If you have any interest in theatre at all, then it is a crime not to see this. Performers like Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Derek Jacobi, Ralph Fiennes, Helen Mirren, James Corden, Michael Gambon, Rory Kinnear and countless others performing works like Shakespeare, Stoppard, Guys and Dolls, The History Boys... I can't remember them all!!! There were too many glorious moments!! See this thing, if you don't see anything else from these lists then see this. Needless to say, I was tears by the end. To see such an ensemble of talent gathered together to perform some of the greatest written works. It's truly spectacular, and I unashamedly choose it as my number one for Best Non-Mainstream film of 2013.

Best Films of 2013 - Mainstream Edition

As usual, I saw too many good films this year to just make one list. And because I see a range of movies from arthouse to action, again I am splitting the year into mainstream and non-mainstream. I just think that if a film has impressed me a lot, then it should be recognised in a list of some sort. And if I've left off a film that you liked, there are three reasons for this. 1; it hasn't been released in Australia yet, 2; I haven't seen it or 3; I didn't like enough as the movies on this list.

And just to remind everyone, I consider mainstream movies to be films that were released through more than one cinema. So even if the film was only released through Palace and Nova, I'm counting it as mainstream. There may be a few inconsistencies between the lists, because I've forgotten what was exclusive or whatever. But I figure that no one will really mind. Anyway, let's begin!

10. About Time

Goddamn these little British movies and their sentiment! Always making me cry! I'm sure everyone else in the cinema is annoyed at me crying all the time. Anyway, this is apparently Richard Curtis' final film, as either a writer or a director. And I think it's the best note to leave on. This is a film about Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) who is told by his father (Bill Nighy) that the men in their family possess the ability to travel through time. Tim uses this to better his life, marry his dream girl, Mary (Rachel McAdams) and live as much as he can. There isn't much plot, rather a series of episodes that show different scenarios in Tim's life and how time travel effects that. But I don't mind that. This is a small film about the small things in life, and I think it's the perfect way for Curtis to say goodbye.

9. Warm Bodies

Oh, I was exited for this one. I even read the book beforehand! Zombies are my favourite supernatural/horror creature, mainly because they haven't yet been done to death like other such creatures, and so I'm always interested when something different appears in the zombie sub-genre. This film reminds me a lot of Fido (which is possibly my favourite zombie film), they're both about life after the zombie apocalypse and how humans and zombies interact. The biggest difference though is that Warm Bodies is from the perspective of the zombies themselves. I just find it really interesting. It's also a good adaptation, with some things done better than the book (namely the climax), but I think I like it mainly because it's nice to see a film about the apocalypse that isn't bleak. And Nicholas Hoult is kinda attractive as well.

8. The Best Offer

This film had me at Geoffrey Rush and Donald Sutherland. Jim Sturgess was just the cherry on the cake. So, it's nice to see a thriller actually take it slow for once. This film builds nicely to climax that while some might see it coming, it is still entertaining and heartbreaking thanks to Geoffrey Rush's performance of art auctioneer Virgil Oldman. The mansion where most of the film is set is beautiful, and the cinematography is fairly spectacular throughout. I just really liked this film, it may not be the best, it may not be the most original, but I think it's gorgeous to watch and it did hold my attention for the whole 2 hours. And it has Geoffrey Rush. And Donald Sutherland.

7. Gravity

Looking back, this wasn't the great film that everyone is saying that it was. And yet at the same time it is. Let me try and explain myself. The major problem with this film is the plot, it gets a little convoluted and then abruptly ends. But if you suspend your disbelief and just go with it, then this is one of the most rewarding films of the year. Well, for me it was. And I think it's because of the acting and the choice of actor. Sandra Bullock is one of my favourite actresses, and I think it's a shame that she hasn't been getting good roles for a few years. So on one hand it was excellent to see her in something that gives her a lot to work with. But the real reason I like this film so much is that for 90 minutes we are basically watching one woman and her struggles. And she isn't being all badass like Ripley, no. She is vulnerable and almost gives up numerous times. But she succeeds, and I think in a world with "Blurred Lines", we need more movies like this, with more female characters like her.

6. Trance

Speaking of strong female characters and actresses who frequently get not good roles. I suppose you could say I am a Danny Boyle fan, I've liked all the films of his I've seen so far. And despite some rather gruesome moments at the beginning, this is a really good psychological thriller. It kept me guessing right up until the end, after multiple twists and turns. The three leads, James McAvoy, Vincent Cassel and Rosario Dawson, are all excellent, but I think extra praise has to go to Dawson, whose character and motivations I just love. I don't want to say too much, because it's better to go into this knowing the bare minimum, but it is one of the best and darkest thrillers of the year.

5. Goddess

I was seriously considering putting this on the most underrated list, because it seemed like all anyone could remember about this film was that the girl on the poster looked like Nigella Lawson. But I enjoyed this film too much. Again, like Austenland, this film if just pure fun. And a film that entertains is worth more to me than all the fancy cinematography, full-proof script and A-lister actors. This is a charming, little musical with a great lead in Laura Michelle Kelly, and to top if off, Magda Szubanski is in it in a role that finally allows her the dignity she deserves. And the musical numbers are really good. So, yeah, I put this little Aussie flick above Gravity and Trance and all of them simply because I had fun while watching this film. And I hope everyone else who sees this movie has fun too.

4. Stoker

This film is absolutely gorgeous! The sets, costumes and cinematography all come together to create a beautiful background for one the most interesting films from last year. Mia Wasikowska does an excellent job playing the strangely cold India Stoker, a girl who has to deal with the death of her father and the sudden appearance of her oddly sinister uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode), whom she didn't know existed until now. Again, I don't want to say too much, but this film has images that will haunt you after you leave the cinema. The nods to Alfred Hitckcock's Shadow of a Doubt is also a nice addition that will benefit repeated viewings. If you like horror, or anything vaguely gothic, then I would definitely recommend this.

3. Pacific Rim

This really was the surprise hit of the year. Looking at the trailer, it really doesn't give away how good this film actually is, especially given the premise. But an action movie that has character development, excellent action sequences and a kick-ass female role, this film becomes more groundbreaking the more I think about it. I don't really know what else to say that hasn't already been said by a thousand other reviewers. This is one of the best action movies of the past few years, and definitely the best of this year.

2. The World's End

Oh yeah, there was no way this wasn't going to end up on my list. What a way to end the triology! There are about 3 different films crammed into this, one right after the other. But the writing and editing are so good that the transitions between the different parts are so smooth. I love the comedic trio of Ed Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, and Hot Fuzz is one of my favourite films of all time. The World's End had big shoes to fill, but this tale of the most epic pub crawl gone wrong is excellent on all levels. I may have let my fangirl go a little crazy putting this so high on the list, but I don't care. It deserves it!

1. Philomena

My dad once said that he has never seen Judi Dench give a bad performance. This is no different. This is also the best thing I have ever seen Steve Coogan do. The fact that he co-wrote the script is astounding. This film works so well because there is no right or wrong, there is no bad guy. Instead we just get s fairly simple film about a mother who was forced to give up her son, the repercussions it had for her and her journey to finding him. And it's the simple telling of the events that makes it so good and makes it easy for the audience to connect with the film. When I first saw this film (I saw it twice, I liked it that much), there was a moment in the film when the entire audience gasped, and I'm fairly sure that I wasn't the only one with wet eyes by the end of the film. If you haven't seen it yet, then I suggest you do! My favourite and what I consider the best mainstream film of 2014.

Well, sorry that this took so long. If you live in Melbourne, then you can probably guess why I haven't been wanting to write anything. This has been a pretty standout year for genre films. I could easily justify putting other films like Patrick and The Conjuring on this list. Anyway, I hope the heat is getting to everyone else like it's getting to me. Until next time, with the last list for last year.

Most Underrated Movies of 2013

I forgot to add to the disclaimer to the start of the previous list that all the films mentioned in this list are films that were released to Australian cinemas this year. So some of the films that turn up, may have been released in 2012 or even 2011, but because Australia is apparently so far away we didn't get them until last year.

Anyway, if you hadn't guessed it, the films featured on this list are just a few that I think were criticised and ignored despite how good they are (or at least how good I think they are). Some of you may disagree with me, to which I say "So?" I just wanted to share some more films that I enjoyed that wouldn't fit on my other two lists, and that no one else thought was good.And anyway, there's only five of them. So, on with the list.


5. I'm So Excited

This new Pedro Almodovar was the opening night film for MIFF, and it met with a resounding 'meh'. And I can kinda see why, it's not as strong a farce as his earlier films, and comes as quite a clash after a film like The Skin I Live In. But I had so much fun watching this. It might've been because I saw the last session at the Rivoli, and I was the only person in the cinema. It was one of the greatest experiences of my cinema going life! The freedom of an empty cinema is something that I recommend everyone experience at least once in their life. As for the film, if you just go with the craziness and randomness of what happens then it offers a lot more enjoyment. Besides, it has the best musical moment of last year! If you're an Almodovar fan, or even just a fan of fun sex romps, then I would definitely recommend this.

4. Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters

I'm not going to lie, when I first about that this was being made, I was so excited! It looked so silly and so fun. I wasn't disappointed, but apparently a lot of other people were. All I can say is, what were you expecting? It's called Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters! Anyone who was expecting anything more than what we got was deluded from the beginning. I'm actually surprised we got something that made sense, had good leads, an overacting villain and a good helping of gore. But if that doesn't grab you, then I guess our tastes are too different.

3. Anna Karenina

The use of a theatre to show how the characters have to put on an act to survive the society that they live in divided many people who saw this film. But I put this to you; if the film had just been your average period drama, without the theatrical element, then would people actually remember it? By setting the film partly in a theatre, it not only adds some symbolism that Tolstoy would've approved of, but it elevates the film above the normal period dramas that we get. I just think it's a lot more interesting. I also really love the music, and the costumes. And I think that it's one of Keira Knightley's better roles. It's not for everyone, but give it a chance, you'll find it better than people might think.

2. Kon-Tiki

No one saw this film! It was nominated for an Oscar and no one went to see it! I can sort of see why, it does look like it's just about a bunch of Scandinavians (and a few others) getting hairier on a raft in the middle of the sea. But there's so much more! I think I like this film because I saw it just at the right time, in the middle of my archaeology course. But the other reason I like this film so much is that it's real, it's about a real expedition, a real archaeologist. I'm not against Indiana Jones, but he is more of an antiquarian than an archaeologist. And I think there are many other people out there that should be more in the mind of the general public and just aren't. So I'm glad that Thor Heyerdahl at least got a movie, and I hope more people see it and find out about him.

1. Austenland

You know what. Fuck you all. This film should've gotten a more mainstream release. I saw this glorious comedy two times in about two weeks, and I am not ashamed. Much like I'm So Excited this was one of the most fun films of the year. And it's still on at Nova! I reckon if this did get a more mainstream release, then this would've been one of the most popular films of the year. Okay, the plot is predictable, the acting isn't the best and there are a few plot holes. But I don't care!! This film was fun, and sometimes that's all you want! So do yourself a favour if you haven't seen this, GO AND SEE THIS FILM!!

So, yeah. That's it for the most underrated. I'm going to try and write up another list this week, but not promises. Until next time, readers.