Mediocre Movies: Joyful Noise

Sometimes, you come across a film that just baffles you as to how it got made without anyone realising how much of a mess it was. This is one of those films. I wouldn't say it's so bad it's good, it's just ... odd. There are some plot points that don't make sense, characters that act insane, it feels edited to hell, and, the biggest crime, Jesse L. Martin is in this and he DOESN'T HAVE A SONG!!! Did I also mention this film is frustrating as hell?

So, in a small American town the church choir is run by two incredibly strong-minded women, G.G (Dolly Parton) and Vi Rose (Queen Latifah), after the old choir master Bernard (Kris Kristofferson) dies unexpectedly. The choir hopes to win the "Joyful Noise" choir competition in order to bring some much needed hope to a town that is quickly dying. However, Vi Rose wants to stick to the old traditional gospel songs that the choir has been doing forever, while G.G feels that it's time for a change. Throw in the fact that Vi Rose's daughter Olivia (Keke Palmer) is falling for G.G's bad-boy grandson Randy (Jeremy Jordan), which causes friction between mother and daughter, and coincidentally, the choir.

Okay, so to be honest, I was probably not this movies demographic. This is a very Christian film, which isn't a bad thing, but when I watch a movie I don't really want to be preached to. And this film can get quite preachy at times. It does try to address the big issues, mainly with the character of Walter, Vi Rose's son who has aspergers. There is one scene where he a crisis of faith, and questions his mother about why God made him the way he is, and that maybe God isn't as perfect as people make out. This would've been the best scene in the film, if Vi Rose's response had been anything other than "Don't question your creator, He is perfect and amazing," or something along those lines. The film does this a lot, bringing up issues and then resolving them in the most half-hearted way or not in any way at all. But that's not my biggest complaint.

No, my biggest complaint is this. When you have a movie about a choir, you expect the choir to actually be in it. Most of the plot revolves around the melodramas of Vi Rose's family rather than the dynamics in the choir, which is what it should be focusing on! The choir is hardly in it! We get a couple of subplots about a few of the choir members, but they're more played for laughs than for actual character development. And for a musical, it lacks a lot of musical numbers. Both Latifah and Parton have a solo song each, because they are the big stars. But it means that there is less time for the choir.

And let's get to the music. It's okay. The singing is excellent, and I'm fairly sure there might be some original songs (I could be wrong... I probably am), but like I said, this movie was not made for a non-Christian. What I mean by repeating that is it really rubs me the wrong way when someone takes an excellent song and changes the words to suit their own agenda. And good god do some of these covers make me cringe. How's this for a bizarre idea? A Christian reworking of Usher's "Yeah". It's as stupid as it sounds.

So is this film mediocre? Yes, but mainly because it is such a mess. It doesn't know what it wants to be. It's advertised as a light comedy, and yet apart from a few scenes, plays out like a drama. The dialogue is either cheesey or weird, with inspirational speeches alongside such brilliant one liners like "You will respect my snoring!" and "Your daughter is looking at Randy the same way I look at cake." Would I recommend it? No, not unless you are a really big fan of any of the stars. Otherwise, there are some much better choir movies, like Sister Act and Pitch Perfect, which coincidentally came out the same year. Like I said earlier, this is just average bad, so I'd steer clear of it, or watch it by some more dubious methods.

Well, I'm sick at the moment, so hopefully I will have another one of these up shortly. Or a list, I dunno yet. Until next time, readers.

80's Fantasy Movies

So, some decades are defined through different genres for me. While some might think that the 80's are defined through the comedies or teen films that came out then, but for me the 80's created a certain breed of fantasy films that we haven't really seen since. Sure, there have been more fantasy films that have come out, but they lack that brilliant touch of cheese that the 80's offers! So today, I am going to share with you my favourite, that also happen to be some of the best, fantasy films from the 1980's.

Just a heads up, if you know anything about fantasy films from the 80's, then you probably know some of the entries on this list. With regards to the numbers 1 and 2, it was a tough choice between the two, but I went with the one that I'm fairly sure I saw first (I saw them both around the same time, so I'm not exactly sure) but more than that, I chose the one I've seen about 50 times. Yep, I love it that much. So I'm sorry if you don't agree, but these are my choices. Feel free to disagree. Anyway, let's get on with it!

10. The Witches of Eastwick

Jack Nicholson as the Devil... Yep, perfect casting there! And it also has Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer and Cher as the three witches. Yeah, the cast here is awesome. But what else I like about this film is how ambiguous about everything it is. Daryl Van Horne is never actually named as the Devil, and yet everyone knows he is. The same with the three women, they are never called witches at any time in the film. It's more implied, and it makes the film so much more interesting. And it's funny. Funny as hell. Yep. Awesome film.

9. Erik the Viking

This is one of my favourite films. Which is weird, considering the film starts with an attempted rape scene, and the fact that my mum thought it would be a good idea to let me watch this film when I was 7. Yeah, brilliant parenting. But this is an awesome film! Tim Robbins goes crazy, Terry Jones has one of his funny voices on, John Cleese is... himself! And it has Eartha Kitt, which is always a bonus. Plus, I totally ship Thorfinn and Sven. Who the hell wouldn't!

8. Time Bandits

I only just noticed that I put the two former Python's next to each other. Oh well. Yeah, this is directed by Terry Gilliam. And you can tell, it gets really dark towards the end, and the it finishes. But the bits in the middle are good. Hell, I'd even say the beginning is good as well. And even though the ending is dark, it fits in the rest of the film. Plus Ian Holm plays Napoleon and Sean Connery plays Agamemnon. Only Connery could Agamemnon charming (considering he acts like dick most of the time. Don't believe me, read up on him.) It was a tough choice between this film and Gilliam's other big fantasy film that came out this decade, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, but while do adore Baron Munchause, the unflinchingness and brutality that Time Bandits has made it a better film. Yeah, also Gilliam is one of my favourite directors, if you hadn't guessed.

7. Ladyhawke

Before he was in direct to DVD trash, Rutger Hauer was in some good movies! This is one of them! And what makes me like this film so much is just the plot. It's really romantic and sad, but it's what I think of when I think of epic fantasy romances! The whole together but apart theme is quite popular in the fantasy genre. Matthew Broderick is also good in this, and I don't mind the monologues he has with himself, though I never know if anyone else hears him and are too freaked out to comment on the fact that he's talking to himself or if they are in his head... Something to ponder about this week.

6. The Company of Wolves

This film has the most disturbing werewolf transformation I have ever seen. Imagine someone ripping off their skin until only muscle remains, and then I closed my eyes because I couldn't watch anymore. Even thinking about it makes my skin crawl. I was talking about how Time Bandits was dark, but it's nothing compared to this film. The atmosphere in this film in so eerie, it beats a lot of horror films that came out this decade. And the story is not your typical Little Red Riding Hood retelling, it plays around themes of sexual awakening and trust and love. And it has Terence Stamp in a cameo as the Devil, which is never not awesome! So, if you're looking for something a little different, then definitely check this out.

5. Legend

This film is hilarious. Imagine, young Tom Cruise running around a forest with no pants on. Yes, you heard right! But wait, it gets better! Tim Curry is the Lord of Darkness. And it's directed by Ridley Scott. Do you now see why this film is awesome? If you don't, then you need to see it. Don't argue, go and see it right now. This is pure 80's cheese at it's best, and I love every silly moment of it. And you should too.

4. My Neighbour Totoro

This film is absolutely adorable! It expresses what it was like to be a child, when the world was whatever you made of it and magic was everywhere, and yet it presents it for an adult. I wouldn't call this a kids film, and while I might show it to kids, I don't think they would appreciate the way an adult full of nostalgia would. And it is quite slow. But the reason I put this movie on the list rather than other animated movies like The Little Mermaid was mainly because it's so different from other childhood fantasy films. For starters, the father actually accepts what the daughters tell him about Totoro, and believes them! That is almost unheard of in kids fantasy movies, where they have to hide whatever creature they found because their parents can't find out for some reason. The creatures here are also very imaginative, especially the cat bus. And in all honesty, I think the gentle animation of Studio Ghibli is much more beautiful than Disney.Sorry, but I do.

3. Return to Oz

You see that poster there, presenting this film as a continuation of the original from the 1930's? Well, it's not, not at all really. At least in a thematic sense, though the ruby slippers aren't really in it either. While it retains some of the characters and settings from the original film, this sequel is a lot darker. Which makes it awesome! I love the original film, but it is a product of its time, and that sort of film wouldn't have worked in the 80's. Instead, we get a sequel that is a closer adaptation of the books, and yet can easily stand on it's own feet and be viewed without needing to watch or read the originals. I have no problem calling this one of the best (if not the best) sequel I have ever seen. Of course it flopped when it came out, but that was mainly due to people thinking it would be nice like the original. Thankfully, more and more people are seeing it now, and I would recommend it more for older kids, because there are some kinda scary moments. Like the Wheelers. They terrified me when I first saw this, and I was 15 at the time! That is some excellent filmmaking right there.

2. The Princess Bride

I spent hours agonising over whether I should put this film at number 1 or 2, but in the end I had to go with my gut and put it at number two. But just because it isn't first, doesn't mean I don't love the hell out of this film! If there was such a thing as a perfect movie, then this would be up there in the top 10. I don't know anyone who doesn't love this movie, and what's not to love. The story seems predictable, and yet there are twists and turns all the way through that keep you guessing as to what's going to happen. All the characters are memorable in some way, and they got the absolute perfect cast to play them, from Mandy Patinkin as Inigo to Chris Sarandon as Humperdinck to Christopher Guest as Rugen! Plus, there are cameos from both Billy Crystal and Peter Cook. This is the best thing that Cary Elwes has ever done, and I'd almost say the same for Rob Reiner (but he did make 2 of my other favourite movies, This Is Spinal Tap and When Harry Met Sally). There is a phrase on the internet which sums up the film perfectly; you either like The Princess Bride, or you're wrong! And I completely agree.

1. Labyrinth

Yes, David Bowie in questinably tight pants beat out one of the most almost perfect films ever! I'd apologise, but I can't hear you over the sound of "Magic Dance". I can't help it, this film is cheesier than pizza, but I love every minute of it. So much so, that I'm beginning to develop my own ideas as to why the Labyrinth exists and how it works and why Jareth takes such an interest in Sarah, and it's probably only because she's more than likely the only person to navigate the Labyrinth successfully, I mean everyone else probably gave up half-way through, and it's her reislience and determination .... I'm gonna stop. Brian Froud has one of the most imaginative minds ever, and when you combine that with Jim Henson's creativeness and puppets, magic is created. I really have no words. If you haven't seen the film, then see it! If you don't like the film, then I'm sorry you're missing out!

Thank you for reading this list. Again, if you don't like my choices, please tell me which ones you would've put on your list. But don't get at me about the order, otherwise I will throw my cat at you. And she can be very grumpy. There's nothing really left for me to say except, until next time readers, and you remind me of the babe...

Monsters University, Despicable Me 2 and Epic

Okay, so over the past two weeks or so, I've managed to see all 3 of the new big animated features that have recently come to Australia, mainly because there is nothing else at the cinema (at least the cinema closest to me) that I want to see. So, I've stuck to animation, because at least the visuals should be nice, and at least the jokes might be funny. Instead of giving these films their own reviews, I've bundled them together in the hopes of comparing for my own weird pleasure. Anyway, I just want to say firstly that all of these films are quite good. Really good, actually. Maybe even great. But let's get into them each individually, starting with Pixar's latest.

Monsters University is a prequel to quite possibly my favourite Pixar film ever, Monsters Inc. In this enstalment, we get to see how Mike (Billy Crystal) and Sulley (John Goodman) met at university. After both of them being kicked out of the Scarer Program at the university, they team up together to try and win the Scare Games, along with the underdog fraternity Oozma Kappa. There are other things that happen, of course, but I don't really want to spoil it, because I alway find that Pixar films work better when you just know the basic premise, then you can discover all the messages and meanings for yourself as you watch it.

Okay, I'm gonna say this now. When I first heard that they were making a prequel to Monsters Inc., my first reaction was "Oh crap." I thought it was unnecessary to make anything else to do with that universe, especially since the original film came out over ten years ago. And you know what, after seeing it, I still think it is unnecessary. That doesn't mean I think this is a bad film, far from it, but the ending to Monsters Inc. is for me one of those endings where you don't need anything else. The film was resolved perfectly, and for me, this prequel is just a way to cash in on a franchise. But like I said, that doesn't mean I don't think this is a bad film, and I did enjoy watching it. I just don't think it needed to be made.

Well, now that that's out of the way, what makes this film good? The same thing that held the first film together, the relationship between Mike and Sulley. It is nice to watch them build up their friendship and get to know each other in a fairly believable way, and the other characters in the Oozma Kappa fraternity are all interesting in their own way, especially the designs. But Mike and Sulley really steal the show, especially in the last 20 minutes or so of the film. In fact, the last 20 minutes of the film saved it for me. Up until then, the plot was essentially your typical underdog sports movie type plot, and the end happened and everything changed. I'm not saying what happened, but it is almost as good as the ending in the first one. Almost.

So, if I had one complaint, it would be that Randall's character doesn't get enough screen time. It's pretty much just tagged on as an after thought, which leaves his character really thin. The other thing is that animation is very childish. There are a lot of primary colours used, whereas the first one was more natural looking and dark, but that's just me being a nitpick. The actual animation on the characters is superb as always, I just don't like the colour scheme. Randy Newman returns to do the score, and it is really good this time! There are a few pieces from the first film used here and there, but there are also some really excellent new pieces that use a marching band instrumentation to bring out to university feel. It works really well.

I think that's it for Monsters University. If you liked the first one, then you will probably like this. If you love the first one, like me, then you may come out of this like me feeling a little bit... confused. Not really thinking it should exist, but liking it anyway sort of thing. But it is a good film, it's funny, the characters are great and kids will more than definitely like it.

Moving on to our next film, and I can pretty much guarantee that every kid will like something in this movie. I saw this film about 3 weeks after it had come out at the cinemas and there was not a single seat left in the house. Mind you, it was school holidays, but still. Despicable Me 2 follows the adventures of Gru (Steve Carrell), ex-villain and now proud father, as he is roped into helping the Anti Villain League, run by Silas Ramsbottom (Steve Coogan). He is given a mission to discover a villain in a shopping centre, and also a new partner, Lucy (Kristen Wiig). But that doesn't matter. The whole plot doesn't matter, and doesn't make much sense. This film is basically Minions and other people who are also doing stuff... but mainly MINIONS! They are getting their own film as well.

Yeah, if you didn't like the minions from the first film, then you won't like this film at all. There are whole segments where the plot takes a back seat because the minions are doing something funny. Whereas in the first film they comedic background noise, in this film they take over the whole thing. And to be honest, if you're willing to just sit back and have fun and let the silliness wash over you, then it's not that bad. The minions are funny, so much so that other companies are now copying them terribly (looking at you, Lorax) and even though they draw so much away from the plot, I found my self not caring too much. Basically because this isn't a serious film. It doesn't care if the plot staggers to a rather anti-climatic conclusion, it just wants it's audience to have fun. And have fun I did!

Voice acting-wise, everyone here is good. Steve Carrell is excellent again, as Gru. Kristen Wiig is fun and Lucy is probably my favourite character from the film, if only because she moves from professional to fangirly in a matter of seconds. Both Ken Jeong and Steve Coogan are underused, with there really being no point for Jeong to be in the film except as an obvious red herring. Russell Brand seems to me to be one of those actors, like Seth Rogan, who would be better off as a voice actor, if only because he seems to put more effort into his voice roles than his live action work, though unfortunately in this film his character, Dr Nefario, was sadly not in it that much.

Again, the music was also excellent, with some fun songs written Pharrell Williams, and one of them is even sung by Cee Lo Green. But the tune that steals the show is the Minions version of the YMCA. I think my friend died of laughter at the end of the film when they started singing that. The girls in this sequel aren't in it as much, but Margo (Miranda Cosgrove) does get a cute little romantic subplot that also adds to Gru's frustrations as a father. In fact, everything in this film that isn't minion related, adds to both plot and character, but since the minions are at the centre of it all they take centre stage. It's a tricky conundrum to pull off, and to the films credit, it does this very well. If you want to see something fun and not too complicated or anything, then I'd recommend this.

And finally, we move onto Epic. M.K (Amanda Seyfried) moves back in with her estranged father (Jason Sudeikis) after her mother dies. Her father is obsessed with finding the Leafmen who live in the woods near their house, and obsession that led to his wife leaving him before the events of the film. M.K at first doesn't believe him, until she is shrunk down by the Queen (Beyonce Knowles) and told to guard a pod that contains the Light of the Forest from the evil Boggans, led by Mandrake (Christoph Waltz). Helping her is the leader of the Leafmen, Ronin (Collin Farrel), a young warrior named Nod (Josh Hutcherson) and Mub and Grub (Aziz Ansari and Chris O'Dowd), a slug and snail respectively who are the caretakers of the pods.

When I first saw the trailer, I thought this was a gender-swapped Ferngully, and I'm sure a lot of other people thought that as well. There are countless films that are so similar to this, whether through style or story or design or character, it would be pointless to name them all, but some of the ones I came up with were Avatar, Arthur and the Invisibles, and The Spiderwick Chronicles. But let me tell you something, this is better than all of them. The biggest problem with this film was that it came out too late. If this had come out ten or even five years ago, then I think people wouldn't dismiss this film as easily as they are doing now, and as I did. That isn't to say it's perfect, but out of all the out-of-body/walk-in-someone-elses-shoes/shrinking-humans with a possible environmental message films that are out there (and there are more than you'd think), this one is at the top.

And I think the reason for that is because there is no real environmental message. In fact, you want the message of the movie? Watch the rainforest speech from The IT Crowd. That is the message. Everyone is connected, and relies upon and helps each other. The animation in this is also glorious, and some of the designs for the leafmen and the forest inhabitants are very beautiful. The characters are also fun, but my favourite would have to be Queen Tara, mainly because she doesn't let being in a life threatening situation ruin her day. She still has fun! And then when she is in immediate danger, she helps all her subjects as she is helping herself. And she's Queen, not Princess, fucking Queen! Oh my god, it is refreshing to not have an authority figure that is female that isn't a Princess for once.

The voice acting is generally good, with the Chris O'Down and Aziz Ansari stealing many of the scenes they're in. Pitbull makes a cameo appearance as a toad (he he), but I think the real thing that makes this film my favourite of the three (and it is my favourite, and I'll get into more detail as to why in a minute) is that it has Steve Tyler playing a glowworm named Nim Galuu. Let me repeat that. Steve Tyler, yes that Steve Tyler, play a glowworm named Nim Galuu. Nothing can beat that.

So, apart from Steve Tyler, why is this my favourite? I think it might be because, even though the story was old 20 years ago, it isn't part of an existing franchise. Yeah, it was based on a book, from the same author who wrote books that Meet the Robinsons, and The Rise of the Guardians would be based on, but it isn't a sequel or prequel. In the film world, it is an original. The story may not be new, but all the little details are, and it stands out against a world dominated by tired franchises that need to be put down (looking at you, Fast and Furious 6). So yeah, if you haven't seen any of these movies, I would recommend all of them. They all cater to different tastes, so you're bound to find something you like in one of them. I think my next blog will be a list. Not sure yet. Anyway, until next time, readers.

Best Pre-Released Movies Seen This Year.... So Far

I haven't just been seeing a shit-load of movies in the cinema this year! I've also discovered the joy of the audio-visual collection at my uni, and have been borrowing and watching a lot of films from their catelogue (which might explain why I've been getting shit grades in English this semester). Anyway, as well as the many DVDs I've watched for the first time this year, I've also seen quite a number of other pre-released films, ie. movies that were released in a commecial cinema before this year, whether at Acmi or at the Astor. And I thought I would share some of the ones that stood out the most for me this year in terms of visuals, characters, story, premise or for just being fun! I hope that someone will read this and watch some of them and get the same enjoyment that I did while watching these films. Anyway, on with the list!

10. Poltergay

And people think the French are classy! This film has the best title for its premise. A straight guy and his girlfriend move into a new home that is terrorised by 5 dead gay ghosts that only the straight guy can see. Holy fuck, that is awesome! That premise, and the fact that Clovis Cornillac is in it, made me need to see this film. And it's actually pretty good. The plot, while it has some cliches, can be fairly unpredictable at times. It treats the supernatural elements in a unique way, and the lead actors pull it off really well. There are some running gags and subplots that don't really go anywhere, and the ending is a bit abrupt, but I'm prepared to forgive its shortcomings because it has one of the best coming out scenes! And I am not going to spoil it! If you don't want to see this film based on the title and premise, then there is something wrong with you!

9. Troll 2

I kinda wish I'd done my guilty pleasure list after seeing this film, because this would definitely be in the top 3! I saw this at the Astor as part of Cinema Fiasco, a commentary series done all over Melbourne and is fucking hilarious. It was really the only way to see the film. The whole audience was in on the joke and there wasn't a moment when someone wasn't laughing. So, the history behind the film is better than the plot of the film itself, mainly because the plot makes no sense whatsoever! And that is only partly why this is incredible! There is crap acting, crap make-up, crap effects, non-sensical dialogue... All this crapness that combines to make something unbelievably enjoyable. I'm sure many people have seen the infamous "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD!" clip on youtube, but believe me, that is only the tip of the iceberg. If you love Z-grade movies, then you have to see this one! But watch it with friends, cause otherwise your brain will melt.

8. The Intruder

There was a Roger Corman retrospective at Melbourne Cinematheque, and because his movies are just the sort of schlock I love, I decided to check it out. By far, the best film out of the bunch was this little 1962 race-relations flick starring a very young William Shatner. Considering the subject matter and when this came out, this is a really interesting photograph into the segregated south of the 60s. But what is more amazing is Shatner himself, playing against type as as sleazy, racist bastard who tries to stur up trouble in a small southern town (I say playing against type, but then again I've really only seen him as Kirk). This is a really brave film to make, especially for 1962. Mixed in with some of the more goofy moments, mainly down to the unprofessional actors, there are some really chilling visuals involving the Ku Klux Klan and a violent lynch mob. Unfortunately, it didn't get a big release, and wasn't even able to make back it's tiny $80,000 budget. If you get a chance to see this, do. It may be small, but it's also impressive.

7. Stage Fright

This isn't the only Hitchcock film I've seen this year. Nope, I've also had the pleasure of watching Notorious and The Birds for the first time. But I enjoyed this one more, not only because it first introduced me to Jane Wyman, who is quickly becoming one of my favourite dramatic Hollywood actresses. Not only because it's the first Marlene Dietrich film I've seen all the way through. And not only because it's a thriller set backstage at a theatre with excellent characters and a good twist. No, the one element that really made me love this film was the scene where Alistair Sim plays an accordion. Just to clarify the awesome, Alistair Sim plays the accordion in a Hitchcock movie! Yes I am insane, but it was that scene that made this film all the more amazing! Though you should check the other Hitchcock movies as well. In fact, watch all the Hitchcock movies! It's what I'm aiming to do!

6. Kelly's Heroes  

One word, Oddball. If you though Murdock was insane, he is nothing compared to Donald Sutherland's Oddball. I love this character to death! And considering that his total minutes of screen-time probably add up to something like 20 minutes, in what is meant to be a Clint Eastwood movie, he not only steals this film, but runs it over with his tank in the process! For some reason, I've been watching a lot of films this year with Clint and Donald, but when you pair them together, you get one of the most fun war movies, that actually plays out more like a heist movie than a war movie... but it's still awesome! Especially with the likes of Telle Savalas and Don Rickles in supporting roles, and if you look close enough, Harry Dean Stanton is in there as well! 

5. Subway

To some, he is Christopher Lambert, star of Highlander! But to me, he will always be Chritophe Lambert (the 't' is silent), the star of Luc Besson's Subway. This film is stylish as hell! And not surprising, considering it comes from the French cinema du look movement of the 80s, where style ruled and substance not so much. And yeah, the plot is kinda non-existant to not explained outright. But I don't like this film for the plot, I like this film for the characters. From Lambert's cooler-than-thou Fred, to Isabelle Adjani's stylish socialite Helena, all the characters, even the very minor ones are memorable. But my favourites are definitely Le Roller (Jean-Hugues Anglade), a pick-pocket who escapes the police by living on roller-skates, and Le Batteur, played by a very young Jean Reno, who makes the greatest face when he gets to do a drum solo at the end. If you like French films with more style that substance, then this is one for you.

4. La Strada

I saw my first Fellini film! And oh my god, it was heartbreaking! I can see why people say Giulietta Masina is a female Charlie Chaplin. Her face is so childlike and expressionful, and watching her being abused by Anthony Quinn is like watching a puppy being kicked! But at the same time, La Strada is such a magical film, and so simply told. I am definitely going to try and see some more Fellini this year, but for my first foray into the auteur, this film is incredible.

3. The Lost Weekend

Jane Wyman strikes again! And this time with Ray Milland and Billy Wilder! Wilder is one of my favourite directors, and Sunset Boulevard is one of my all time favourite movies, but I think I made a mistake of watching a double of Ace in the Hole and this. Don't get me wrong, they are both astoundingly excellent, but Ace in the Hole is so painful to watch, that watching this afterwards was not the best pick-me-up. But I did enjoy it more, mainly because of the flawed protagonist the Milland plays, an alcoholic writer, who tries to write by living off drink for a whole weekend. This again is a heartbreakingly beautiful film, and one of Wilder's finest. I don't think I can recommend it enough, so I'll stop now before I get repetitive.

2. Don't Look Now

Steven Jay Schneider, who wrote entry on Don't Look Now for the book series 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die is the biggest dick in the world for spoiling the incredible conclusion of this film. If you own a copy of that book, and you haven't seen this film, don't read it! Don't Look Now isn't only considered one of the best thrillers, but also the greatest British film ever made. And of course, it has Donald Sutherland in it, which makes it all the more amazing. I don't really want to say much more, if only because you will enjoy this more, if you know less about it. The good thing is, even if this has been spoiled for you (as it was for me, and no, I will not get over it!) it is still full of suspense even if you know the twist.

1. Carnival of Souls

Now, why would I put this little known 60s horror film above the likes of Nicolas Roeg and Billy Wilder? I mean, it was made by a company that predominantly made educational films before making this tiny film, that flopped big time when it came out. The lead actress, Candace Hilligoss, isn't even a professional actress and only starred in one other film apart from this! I mean, really, this can't be good. And no, it isn't good. It's fantastic! Which is odd, because it probably has the most predictable plot out of any of the films on this list. But you don't watch this film for the plot, you watch it for the atmosphere, which is incredibly eerie, helped by the haunting organ score by Gene Moore. And there are some visuals which leap out at you and stay in your mind. After watching this, it's easy to see why directors like David Lynch and George A Romero were inspired by this film. And since it's in public, it's also the easiest film to find. If you're bored one day, check it out. You may be surprised by how hauntingly beautiful this film is.


This list was hard! Mainly because there were just so many good films I've seen so far this year. And not just on DVD, but a lot of the films I've seen in the cinema this year have also been really good, or at the very least watchable. Which means the end of year lists are going to be difficult to say the least. Anyway, hope that I've made these films seem interesting enough for you to check out at least one of them. Until next time, readers.

Broken

Why is there always an independent British that will undoutedly make me cry? Last year it was Tyrannosaur, and this year it's this hidden gem, that apparently debuted at Cannes last year, but of course this being Australia it didn't come out here until this year in May. And because of university interrupting my life, I didn't get to see it until this weekend, so it might be dying down in terms of cinema screenings, but it's still on at Nova quite a few times, in case anyone actually wants to go see it after reading this. And you should. Like Tyrannosaur, this film has incredible emotion. Unlike Tyrannosaur, it's not as dark as you think it will be. But first, a summary.

Skunk (Eloise Laurence, in her movie debut) is an eleven year old diabetic who lives with her brother, Jed (Bill Milner), and her dad Archie (Tim Roth) in a normal British suburb. One day, Skunk shockingly watches as one of her neighbours, Rick (Robert Emms), who lives with his parents, is suddenly beaten up by another neighbour, Mr Oswald (Rory Kinnear), an agressive man with three daughters. This event triggers a downward spiral in Skunk's life, as she starts high school and is bullied, while her father begins a relationship with her au pair, Kasia (Zana Marjanovic). The stories of these three families all intertwine with each other, bringing together a tragic, yet strangely life affirming conclusion.

So, this is based on a 2008 book by Daniel Clay that was inspired by To Kill a Mockingbird. And yeah, there are similarities. Scout and Jem are phonetically similar(ish) to Skunk and Jed, Archie is also a lawyer like Atticus was, Skunk gets a boyfriend named Dylan, who serves as the Dill of this movie. There are other similarities, like Rick being the Boo Radley character, who is misunderstood and a little creepy, and I guess Cillian Murphy's character Mike could be the Tom Robinson, since he is inadvertently accused with getting one of Mr Owswald's daughters pregnant. But one shouldn't base how good a film is on how well it adapts something, one should review the film as an entity in it's own right. Which is what I'm going to do now. I may come back one day and talk about how it kinda works as an adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird, but right now, let's just focus on Broken.

Eloise Laurence is going to go far. For her first film, she manages to hold everything together, and creates a likeable, cheeky and realistic character in Skunk. Also, the connection between her and Tim Roth is so believable. The scenes just between these two were the highlights of the film. Unfortunately, there aren't enough of them, only about 3 in total. But that complaint turns into a compliment because the film expertly paced. It's very plot driven, with each character given enough time to forward the plot. Yet, there are some quiet character moments as well, like the little scenes between Skunk and her dad. And while I would love to see more of those scenes, they would probably make the film drag.

 
Broken only lasts 90 minutes, but it is quite slow. However, that isn't a bad thing. Slow is quickly becoming a compliment for films among the arthouse scene, and as I said earlier, the pacing is perfect. It feels like it's just a character study, yet on reflection all the little incidents that happen all contribute to driving the actions of the character, and direct the plot forward So, while some may think that it is rather plotless and slow, for me it just shows that the film uses good story-telling to create a non-formulaic coming-of-age drama.

The acting is also really excellent. I know I kinda got talking about Eloise Laurence then got distracted by the pacing, but let's get back on track. Tim Roth is excellent, and it is nice to see him in a meatier role than the extended cameo he had in Arbitrage last year. Cillian Murphy is also good, but in a more supporting role than the advertising suggests. Rory Kinnear is scary good, and you really feel like he is an out of control man who cannot cope with the grief of losing his wife and the responsibility of raising three out of control daughters. Robert Emms is also quite chilling, portraying a man who is very mentally disturbed, and whenever he's on screen you just think that something is going to go wrong. Which it does. Whoops, spoilers.

So, the story is a little predictable and quite depressing, but there is a liveliness to it, that comes from both Eloise Laurence, and some of the techniques that they use at times. Towards the end, it goes a little dreamlike (for reasons I will not divulge), and there is some symbolism that is very ambiguous. It could mean the passing of childhood into ... teenage hood? Or it could simply be leaving the past behind you and looking forward into the future. I think it's more the former, a long-winded way to tell the audience that our main character is growing up.

Another thing that happens a lot is that the filmmakers will show the end result of a scene before showing the events leading up to what actually happened. The most obvious (and the one with the least amount of spoilers) is at the beginning, when Mr Oswald attacks Rick for no reason that the audience has been given yet. After the attack, we flashback to see what aggrevated him to start beating Rick up, and no, I'm not going to tell you what it was. If you want to find out, go see it for yourself. This trick is repeated a couple more times to the point that the novelty of it wears off a bit. But it's still interesting and refreshing to see a different approach to the show don't tell rule.

I don't really want to say anything else because a lot of the joy found in the film comes from not knowing that much about it. Usually, I hate trailers that don't tell me what goes on in the film because they frustrate me, but I am thankful for this one. I will say that it did make me cry, well, the ending did. And even now that it's been a couple of days since I've seen it, thinking about it still makes me cry. This film is so breathtakingly refreshing, not only for the new story-telling techniques it uses, but it takes a genre that has been stretched in every way possible, the coming of age genre, and gives it a new life, even if it does take inspiration from an old favourite. Female orientated coming of age stories are so rare, and generally focuses on teenage girls rather than pre-pubescent, so I am really pleased that this is as good as it is. If you are interested, I can't recommend it enough. Until next time, readers.

Mediocre Movies: A Bunch of Amateurs

What can I say about Burt Reynolds? Well... he wasn't always an actor, and didn't really see himself as an actor, even though he had acted through college and was a part of the Hyde Park Playhouse summer stock theatre in New York. Umm, what else? He tried to audition for Sayonara, but was told he looked too much like Marlon Brando. Er... his first film was Angel Baby in 1961... and he was in Smokey and the Bandit... and Striptease... In fact, he was terrible in Striptease. His character is one of the worst written screen characters ever, and Reynolds playing him just made it all the more  excruciating. And because of that character, for a while I couldn't stand the man. Until I saw this movie, and my mind was changed. And after a while I saw Boogie Nights, and now I can kinda see the appeal. Kinda.

Reynolds' stars as aging action star Jefferson Steele, who is quickly coming to the end of his career. With no offers from any major film companies, he goes to England on the advice of his agent to star in what he thinks is a professional production of Shakespeare's King Lear, in Stratford-upon-Avon. When he arrives, however, it turns out that the production is done by an amateur acting group, being led by the firm but understanding Dorothy (Samantha Bond), in Stratford St. John. After many misinterpretations and fights with the other members of the group, Jefferson begins to get along with everybody, and starts to become more humble as he stumbles his way through  Shakespeare. Also starring is Imelda Staunton as the put-upon Mary, Derek Jacobi as the pompous Nigel and Camilla Arfwedson as Jefferson's daughter Amanda, who is also trying to break into acting.

Burt Reynolds and Shakespeare aren't two things that you would necessarily think go together, but Reynolds is actually pretty good. And even though in the beginning he is incredibly annoying, he goes through a definite change that makes the character endearing by the end. The English amateur actors are all good, but the main three, Bond, Staunton and Jacobi, steal the show. Bond's Dorothy is a no-bullshit single mum, yet she isn't austere, and there is a genuine connection between her and Jefferson, but thankfully not a fully fledged romance. Jacobi is in his element, quoting Shakespeare at random throughout, thinking he is abovethe rest and generally being stereotypically as British as he can be. But it's Imelda Staunton who steals the film as Mary, a woman who has a fangirl crush on Jefferson yet is frustrated by his rudeness, creating a bittersweet mix of wanting to please yet also wanting to kick someone in the balls.

A Bunch of Amateurs is also innovative in the way it uses the plot King Lear as a background for some of the action. There is a mad scene on the hill in this, which in all honesty is one of the best parts, and the only real part where Reynolds moves out of his comfort zone. While there are more subtle references to the source material, such as the women in the village becoming frustrated at trying to serve all of Jefferson's crazy whims, the biggest connection is through Jefferson's rocky relationship with his daughter. Not wanting to rely on her fathers falling clout, she tries to make it on her own. When that fails she realises that he was trying to protect her, though albeit in the worst way possible. The relationship is played very believably, even though the actors themselves only share about two scenes together, they are able to both convey the frustration they feel towards each other. But while the characters in this are exceptional, the plot isn't so.

The comedy relies on a lot of cliches from the 'fish-out-of-water' genre, and the 'up-himself-person-must-learn-humility-to-acheive-enlightenment' genre. For example, on the plane to England, Jefferson thinks one of the stewardesses wants his autograph, when in actual fact she wants his signature for the bill. Totally haven't seen that one before in a thousand other movies! And then of course, he complains about the weather, the size of the room, the food, the beer, the locals... pretty much everything when he actually arrives in Stratford St. John. All of this rehashed comedy makes the beginning of the movie feel very long and cringe-worthy, but the second half is a lot better. That's when it focuses more on the play rather than just Jefferson reacting to stuff.

So, is it mediocre? Well, I'd say no. It's an incredibly different film, especially from someone like Burt Reynolds, who might I add was 72 when this came out, and you can kinda see it in the way he walks and moves his hands. I think this is actually one of his best films, not as good as Deliverance and Boogie Nights, but it's up there. He made at the right time, and wasn't afraid to create a caricature of himself. While the cliched comedy can be annoying, there is some fresh stuff in there too which is genuinely hilarious, especially from Imelda Staunton.

Another reason why A Bunch of Amateurs isn't mediocre? The Queen saw the premier and then bought the DVD. That's right. The Queen of England likes this film! So, if that isn't a recomendation, then the only thing I can add is that it's probably the only movie you'll see where Derek Jacobi gets covered in shit. But seriously, this is one of those little British films that get swept under the blanket by the bigger Hollywood blockbusters (to be honest, most of the movies in this blog series will be), and if you like those sorts of movies, then you'll probably like this one. So, I'll probably have another blog up next week, since it is holidays. Unless, I decide to be lazy, which is a distinct possibility. Until next time, readers.

Top 10 Guilty Pleasures

Yeah, this was bound to happen sooner or later. I think this will be my most embarrassing list (that is, until I make my favourite Eurovision songs list) but honesty is always best, even if it means that no one will take me seriously after this. Anyway, a guilty pleasure for me is basically any movie that you feel like you shouldn't like, and yet for some perverse reason you just can't stop watching them. It comes down to what makes you embarassed to watch and enjoy. So, I hope you won't hold this against me, though I'm sure you will, but here we go.

10. Showgirls

I had to have one of the classics on here! Ah Showgirls! The film that introduced me to the gloriousness that is a truly awesome bad movie. I reckon that everyone needs to see this film at some point in their lives, because one cannot fully appreciate the good, without first fully realising just how bad the bad can be. And this is nowhere near the worst film I've seen, if it was then I wouldn't own a copy. But it does have a certain campyness that keeps people coming back. And of course, there's the script. Good God, that script! Such terrible lines filling up the film! I love it! Anyway, this is up high because, like I said, it's one of the classic bad films. Saying that this is your biggest guilty pleasure doesn't mean anything anymore. And trust me, there is going to be a lot more room to embarass myself as we go.

9. Earth Girls Are Easy

Lol, what feminism? As this list goes on, you'll see that more and more of one type of film turns up. Anyway, Earth Girls Are Easy. One of Jim Carrey's first films, and with Jeff Goldblum having as much fun as he can. Yeah, that's the best word to describe this film, fun! And stupid. And possibly sexist. No, definitely sexist in some way. But, gosh darn it, it's just so likeable! And the songs! They are the most gloriously bad songs from any movie (apart from one I'll mention later). Anyway, this is the second list this has turned up on, so I guess you could call it one of my favourite movies as well. Which only proves that I have terrible taste. 

8. The Island of Doctor Moreau

Marlon Brando, you know I love you. But it makes me hard to when you appear in films like this. What the crap is this! It's bloody insane! But what else could you expect from a film that stars the Godfather as a scientist covered suncream, Batman is a gay, drug addicted vet and Remus Lupin spends the whole movie making funny faces at the make-up. It's brilliant! In all the bad ways. Val Kilmer obviously didn't care about this film, Marlon Brando cared just too much and Fairuza Baulk is trying to forget she was ever in this. A fantastic mess of a movie! And I haven't even got to the state of the script.

7. Dune

So, some people think that Battlefield Earth is the greatest bad sci-fi, but while I did enjoy John Travolta going insane, I found the rest of the movie was just boring. But Dune, oh boy! This was brilliantly stupid. If anyone wanted to see how not to make a movie, then this would be it. Which is weird, because all the sets and scenery and costumes were actually pretty good. It was just the over use of the narration, and everyone underacting. Except Sting. I love Sting as Feyd-Rautha! He is the best part of the film. In fact, I can't remember anything else about the film apart from Sting. He's just having so much fun! Though it is a little unfortunate that this is the only David Lynch film I've seen. And just so you know, last Kyle Mclachlan film on this list, I promise!

6. Batman and Robin

This is one of the most confusing movies ever. On the one hand, it tries to re-create the dark tone of the first Tim Burton Batman with the protagonists story, and yet tries to capture the campyness of the original 60s TV series with the villains. The result? An almost glorious mess. I can explain why in three words; George Clooney sucks! Seriously, he just did this film for a paycheck. So did Alicia Silverstone, who is pretty much yawning all the way through. The reason why I actually like this movie though? The villains! I love Uma Thurman, she's up there with Demi Moore as one of my favourite bad actresses. But unlike Moore, whatever part she's in, she gives it her all! Poison Ivy is my favourite character of this, and Arnie isn't that far behind. Those two stole the film, put it in their pockets and drove off into the sunset together. Love them!

5. The Pirate Movie

This film reminds me of a Eurovision song. No, I'm serious. Latvia, 2007, they did pirates. Pretty much if you want to know how amazingly cheesey this movie is, look up this song. You know, this film should piss me off. Pirates of Penzance is one of my favourite G&S operetta's, and this is a fairly shameful ... homage? It isn't really, considering they replace most of the songs with vapid 80s pop tunes. One of which won a Razzie! But, again, it's too stupid to offend. And I can't look away, the stupidity is just too overwhelming! ARGH!!

4. Jawbreaker
 

I hate Mean Girls, and yet I like this one. I told you I had bad taste! Though I don't think this is as bad as people think it is. It's still bad, but I've seen worse. Anyway, why do I like this film? Rose McGowan! Oh my god, she is hot as hell in this! Yeah. Kinda shallow reason. But I also think it's more extreme than Mean Girls, and almost reaches Heathers levels of black comedy, but not as well. Anyway, give it a chance. It might be the only time you see Marilyn Manson out of his make up!

3. Striptease

Yay! Showgirls' demented cousin! I told you I liked Demi Moore. And to be honest, she tries her best but the screenplay was doomed from the start. Also, Burt Reynolds. The worst part of this film. I almost hated him for life because of this film. But then I saw him A Bunch of Amateurs, and all was resolved (another review for another day!). So, why is this on higher than Showgirls? Well, while Showgirls is just so bad it's baffling how it got made, Striptease is more run of the mill badness, but with better actors. But if you say you like Showgirls, then you have some street cred. If you say you like Striptease, your a sad pervert. Yep, that sums me up.

2. Zombie Strippers

I love zombie movies, I quite like theatre of the absurd and for some reason I have a fascination with stripper movies. What do you get when you combine all three? A zombie film based Rhinoceros by Eugene Ionesco about strippers. I feel like this movie was made for me. Yes, this is based on the Ionesco's play about conformity and morality, so much so that the owner of the stripclub is Ian Essko, and is played by Robert Englund. Hell yes! If you can stand all the boobs, then this is actually kinda good, in a terrible way. The makers must've actually read the original play, because there are moments of depth. Not many, okay, not really. ... but there are boobs!

1. Santa Clause 3

I can't explain this one. The fuck knows why! I can almost defend kinda liking 4 films with more breasts than plot, and yet a terrible kids movie has me stumped! But I can't look away! It's just so badly written, and Martin Short is trying too hard, and Tim Allen doesn't care! But I watch it every Christmas, and I don't know why! Gah! Well, now that you know the full extent of the darkness in my soul, I wonder how many of you will actually keep reading this? Anyway, until next time readers, though I have no idea when that will be. Bye!