Mediocre Movies: The Decoy Bride

When I browse my Video Ezy, there are a lot of films I notice that no one else seems to. I'm not talking about direct to DVD movies, but actual movies that were released in cinemas (not in Australia, but other places... mainly England) that people have just disappeared or people have forgotten. And unfortunately, they are usually just left to gather dust on a shelf somewhere. Until I find them and watch them. I have no life. So, anyway, I figured that since I have no real idea what this blog is meant to be, why not have a look at these movies? And, if you didn't guess from the title, I will be finding out whether or not they really are mediocre or not (spoiler, most of them aren't). So, why am I starting with this little Scottish film? Well, mainly because it was the one I saw most recently. Not much other than that.

(This is a very complicated plot, so I'm just going to copy the plot description from Wikipedia.) Lara Tyler (Alice Eve) is one of the most famous film stars around, but all she wants to do is marry her fiance, writer James Arber (David Tennant). Besieged by paparazzi, especially Marco Ballani (Federico Castelluccio), who is obsessed with Lara, they escape to the tiny Scottish island of Hegg to try to wed in peace. However, when the paparazzi track them down, and with the locals smelling a payday, Lara becomes upset and runs away. In desperation her management team, led by Steve Korbitz (Michael Urie), decide to stage a fake wedding, hoping the paparazzi will fall for the scam and leave the island. Local girl Katie (Kelly Macdonald), who is nursing a broken heart, is recruited to pretend to be Lara. And that's not even half of the stuff that you need to know, but I'll get to that later.

Firstly, allow me to squee for a little while because this film is adorable! If you're a Doctor Who fan, then I already know that you're going to see this, but let it be known that Tennant is not the star of this film. Kelly MacDonald (who may know most recently from Boardwalk Empire) steals this show with her awkward performance as Katie, a woman who returns to her home single and depressed, with everyone on the island pressuring her to get married. Which she does, albeit accidentally. The best part about this film are the scenes between Arber and Katie, with banter passing between them that eventually becomes more and more personal as they both become closer to each other. Both actors are excellent and the chemistry between them is genuine and just so cute!

But what about the other characters? Well, let's look at the other woman, Lara. What I really like about this character is that they don't make her unlikeable. She doesn't have as much screen-time as the leads, and therefore doesn't have as much characterisation, but what we do have is a woman who merely wants to be married without the prying eyes of the press watching her. By the end, you do feel sorry for her, but she could have benefitted slightly from more characterisation. As could the photographer Marco Ballani, who disappears during the second half of the movie. But one character that does stand out is Iseabail Nic Aodh, Katie's mother played by Maureen Beattie, who is dying and is in a wheelchair. But she's not a pitiful character. Instead, we get a character who just wants to life the rest of her life with as much adventure as she can before being thrown into a volcano. Not even kidding, that's what she wants.

So, what else is there to this movie? I'll be honest, not much. There aren't any great discoveries, no big philosophical questions that need to be answered, instead it's just a sweet love story about two people who find a connection together. Though the scenery is pretty spectacular, even if it is very overcast. But is it mediocre? No, it's different enough that it stands out from other romantic comedies, the acting is better than most, with excellent comic timing from everyone. The story is predictable, but like I said, it's a romantic comedy. It was going to be predictable. But above all, you actually want the two leads to get together, which is always a bonus in a romantic film. Dylan Moran, Sally Phillips (who also co-wrote the screenplay) and James Fleet also pop up in minor roles, but the most exciting member of the supporting cast for me was Hamish Clark, who I have been dying to see since Monarch of the Glen.
 
Would I recommend this? Most definitely! If you're a Tennant fan, he's very charming. If you're a comedy fan, then this is very sweet and funny. If I've somehow sparked your curiousity (and I doubt I have) then you should check this out. The more people who see it, the better. This is one of the ones where, even though it's a silly little film, you can clearly see it was made with love. Those are always the best, no matter how convoluted they may be. And even then, this isn't that convoluted. So, next time, when I have money, it may actually be a new film. Or another one of these. We'll see how it goes. Until next time, readers.

Best films of 2012 - Non-mainstream Edition

Yes! The last list for last year! Yeah, I could've probably just made one list, but there were a lot of films that I thought needed to be recognised that wouldn't have gotten a mention otherwise. I will say this now, this list is made up more of favourites rather than straight up good movies, though in my slightly biased eyes, I consider all of these to be good movies. Feel free to disagree if you like.

So, firstly non-mainstream as defined by me is any film that released either through one cinema or they came out through a festival. Of course some festival films may have been (or about to be) released nationally. I'm still counting them on this list, since it's a list of films I saw last year, and that to me includes any festival films. Anyway, now that that's out fo the way, let's get into the last list for last year!

10. Berberian Sound Studio

I didn't see any other horror movies this year, and I know you'd be stretching to call this an outright horror movie. It's more like a psychological thriller. But whatever, this is definitely one of the most original ideas for a film I've seen in a while. Toby Jones stars as Gilderoy, an unassuming English sound engineer who is hired to do sound for an Italian giallo film (films from the likes of Dario Argento and ... others) the violent nature of which begins to take his toll on him as Gilderoy becomes more and more paranoid. But what's so original about that? Well, we never see any of the film, we just hear all the sound effects that accompany it, leaving the audience to wonder what is actually going on in the movie. I won't lie, this is slow. But the film builds well with Gideroy's silent mental breakdown, and the tension builds with it. It's not for everyone, but it is haunting and memorable in its execution.

9. I Wish

This is a very cute film. And considering how many films had exceptional child actors this year, the Maeda brothers did a very good job at standing out from the crowd with very realistic characters. This is quite a simple story, but it's one of those films where the plot isn't important. It's the characters that shape the plot that is the main focus. Kore-eda is one of the most respected Japanese directors, and sadly is not well known within mainstream Western culture. Most people have told me that his previous film with children, Nobody Knows, is the better film, and one day I will check it out. But right now, this film, with it's whimsical and hopeful feeling, is one of my favourite for the year.

8. Iron Sky

If you don't know the premise for this film, I have two words for you. Moon Nazis. Yep. This is an alternate reality dieselpunk movie, answering the question 'what if Hitler sent Nazis to the moon?' And American did not like this one. My friend first brought my attention to this, and I am so glad he did. I know a lot of people don't like this film, and I can kinda see why. It is very critical of American politics (going to far as to compare the rampant patriotism present in America today to the Third Reich), and it is a lot darker than you think it will be. But then why is it on here? Well, partly because of what the creators managed to do with such a small budget (and I'm going by todays standards). Most of the money for the film was donated by fans who wanted to see it, and it's incredible what they managed to, especially since most of it was green screen. Gonna tell you now, you won't notice it's green screen. In all honesty, it reminds of the old 50s sci-fi movies that had ridiculously long titles. And it plays out like that, though I can say that the plot took me by surprise. And there's a strong female lead. Bonus! If you go to watch it with an open mind, then it is rewarding, and I consider it to be one of the most underrated movies of 2012.

7. Ghost Graduation

Yes, I know I raved about this recently but I really do love this film. It takes tired tropes and gives them new life, possibly because this wasn't a Hollywood film. Think about it, if this was made in Hollywood, I would be able to have guessed the plot from the first ten minutes. And while some thigns were obvious, they done in a different way from what I thought they would be done. The best way to describe this film is refreshing. And you rarely get a film like that anymore. Now, if only I could find a copy of it...

6. Last Dance

Okay, now we're getting to the serious stuff. I doubt any of you have even heard of this film, it was only released through Nova after premiering at the MIFF. And even then, it wasn't at the Nova for long. But this film... I can't even put it into words. This film blew me away. I suppose a bit of plot might help. Well, a Muslim man takes an old Jewsih woman hostage after a botched terrorist operation. The film is basically their interactions and how they try to understand each others situation and their different views. It's that sort of set-up that made me want to see the film. Also the fact that it's set in Melbourne, not my side of Melbourne, but it is nice to see familiar looking buildings and trains and all that. This is a very touching movie. A little sentimental at times, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It builds slowly but with good pacing and good performances from Julia Blake and Firass Dirani as the two leads. Another one I will be waiting desperately for the DVD for.

5. God Bless America

Because one movie criticising modern American society wasn't enough. But while Iron Sky focused on America's questionable politics, God Bless America shows us how America's shallow capitalism and obsession on celebrity has turned the country into a cultural wasteland. Reality television has taking over normal conversation, TV and radio is filled with crude that tries to shock you into laughing, when in actual fact they are sexist, racist or just downright offensive. The plot is pretty awesome, a middle-aged man loses everything and becomes dissatisfied with his life, so he decides to go around and kill all the people he thinks are idiots or just rude and undeserving to be allowed to live. Joining him is a teenage girl who has slightly more ideal and left-wing views on who they should or shouldn't kill. There is quite a bit of violence, and it is as dark as Iron Sky, but it's the conversations between the two characters that really sell the film. And it is relieving to see a film by an American that brings up all the problems in his society.

4. Le Tableau

I really wish that this had gotten a bigger release than just the MIFF last year. This is a glorious film, and if you love animation then you really need to see this. People seem to forget that the French do create some truly exceptional animation. They are up there with the Japanese in what they have been able to do in terms of CGI animation. But what I really like about this film is that it's a perfect blend of amazing visuals and obvious messages for children, and a deeper look into life for adults. I won't say it's the perfect family film, it's a little too serious and dark at times for that, but for an older kid who likes animation and art, this is brilliant. Another one I've been looking everywhere for on DVD, and still haven't been able to find. But I will! One day, I will.

3. Tyrannosaur

I think I've already said all I could about this film. And I don't mean that in a bad way. There are times when I still think about this film and tears will come to my eyes. It did make me cry more than any other film, and there was only 91 minutes of it. I think I said this in my review but if you have only seen Olivia Colman in comedic roles, then you need to see her in this. She is incredible. And this film will forever make me wary of Eddi Marsan. But at the same time, only see this if you think you can take it. It is not a pretty film. I hope that Paddy Considine does direct some more films, being an actor he knows how to direct actors. Though I don't know if I'd be able to take anything this hear breaking.

2. ParaNorman

THIS IS BEING RELEASED IN AUSTRALIA ON THURSDAY!! GUESS WHO'S GOING TO SEE AT LEAST TWO MORE TIMES!! Sorry, but I'm so excited and more than a little annoyed it took about 6 months before it's national release in Australia. Especially since the lead voice actor is Kodi Smit-McPee. Anyway, there's already been a lot of hype and Oscar buzz about this film already in the States, and it's also been appearing on a lot of 'best of' lists. I have also heard some criticism towards it, stating that it is just another loner kid makes good movie, but while it's sort of just that, it's a lot more. Norman isn't the only character that goes through a journey in this film, all of the other characters grow in some way. That makes it different to your average outcast movie. Also, there are zombies.

1. Once Upon a Time in Anatolia

Watching this movie is like your eyes having a multiple orgasm. And even then that would be an understatement. There's just so much here, and not just in visuals. The characters, who we never get any more than a description for a name, all bond in a strange way, having been brought together through the death of a man. The man charged with murder barely says anything, yet all the guilt he feels is on his face for the entirety of the film. Really, you want to know why this is so good? See the film. Nothing I say can prepare how awesome this film actually is.

At last, we are finished. Time to put 2012 behind and look into what 2013 will bring. There are a few films I'm looking forward, and some I'm not. I probably won't be doing the CAE course, as I will be starting uni this year, which will take up most of my time. I also won't be going to see as many movies in the cinemas. Though hopefully I will still be able to put up a review now and then. But that isn't until March, so until then readers, expect some new stuff. Happy late new years, enjoy your time in 2013 and live long and prosper!

Best Films of 2012 - Mainstream Edition

I hope that people keep in mind that these end of year lists are basically just the reviewers opinions on what they liked or what stood out during the year. They shouldn't be the be all and end all in terms of what was good or bad, and they definitely should not be taken all that seriously. I'm only saying this because I don't consider myself to have particularly good taste. And that this was incredibly hard. There were a lot of good films that I saw last year, and even more that I liked. Which is why I had to divide this into two lists.

The way I'm defining "mainstream" is basically any movie that was distributed through two or more cinemas. So, even if it was only distributed through the more elite cinemas of Nova and Palace, I'm counting it as mainstream. Mainly because it's the easiest way for me to divide them. And I would just like to remind everyone that this is based purely on the movies I saw last year, rather than the movies that only came out last year. Like I said, Australia is annoyingly out of loop on some things. Anyway, let's begin!

10. Quartet

Originally, I was going to put Tom Hooper's Les Miserables, but while I don't think the film is bad, I don't think that it was made as well as it could've been. The music fits the stage so well, it was never going to work as a film. And besides, it doesn't have four of my favourite British actors in it. Maggie Smith, Pauline Collins, Billy Connolly and Michael Gambon are absolutely fantastic in this. They act so effortlessly that you don't even realise that they're acting. I got so sad towards the end because I thought that Pauline Collins actually did have alzheimers, but then I remembered that she's Pauline Collins and is sharp as a fox. Even though this was his first time directing, I knew that Dustin Hoffman was going to make an actors movie. And it looked like he didn't have to do much with all the talent that you see in this. And I love the fact that they used actual stage performers and opera singers and musicians from the previous century. It added something extra to the film.

9. Shame

Michael Fassbender is the expert at not showing emotion in any of his parts. Or, as in the case this film, showing as little emotion as possible so that the audience is left with an impression of a character rather than someone fully fleshed. Which is refreshing, amazingly. When you don't know someone's backstory, then it makes them more intriguing, but also more realistic. This is a very tragic film about a mans spiral downward into addiction. There are very few films about sex addiction (the only other one I can think of is John Waters' A Dirty Shame) and I think Fassbender was very brave to take this role. In my opinion, he should've won the Best Actor Oscar, but the Academy seems to have something against films that have a lot of sex in them.

8. Looper

In all honesty, last year was a really good year for sci-fi. We got a lot of really clever science fiction movies, including Dredd, Robot and Frank and Saftey Not Guaranteed, though all of those examples aren't completely sci-fi. Looper was the only one last year that I would count as a straight up sci-fi movie, and it is one of the smartest that has come out for a while. And I am so thankful it doesn't explain the time travel, because that really isn't what this movie is about. It's about facing your future, and learning about your past mistakes... Okay, that was a little cheesey. But ignore my awful analysis, and you will find a movie that actually takes it time and thinks about what it has to say. Plus, Bruce Willis. Always an excellent choice.

7. The Intouchables

Similar films often come out around the same time. Last year, we got two movies about men who couldn't move their bodies connecting to someone. And while The Sessions I think was one of the more underrated movies of the last year, The Intouchables was just so joyous, sincere and funny in its story-telling that I enjoyed a lot more. Omar Sy was such fun to watch, and this was actually a lot funnier than I thought it would be. The trailer lied! And it has one of the best openings of the year (I am forever a fan of Earth, Wind & Fire now), really what more could you want? Good acting, well paced, hopeful ending and an excellent mixture of comedy and drama. It's not the second highest grossing French movie of all time for nothing.

6. The Angels' Share

If you know any Ken Loach's films, then this one may come as a surprise. It'a quite sweet. Yep, a Ken Loach film is sweet! About a group of friends who try to steal some prized whisky so that Robbie (Paul Brannigan) can move onto a better life with his girlfriend and his newborn son, there really isn't a lot more to that film apart from that little summary. But the characters are hilarious, the theft is ingenious and it's nice to see something that's quite light (in parts) and genuinely moving amid all these sour films like Argo, that focus too much on trying to shock into a response than in telling an original story. And for those wondering, it came out at both Palace and Nova, just within my guidelines.


5. The Avengers

No, it's not number one. Sorry to disappoint you. This was an excellent pay-off to a new way of making movies. But it does have flaws. Thankfully, the good stuff is so good that you find yourself not caring about the flaws, at least not until after the film is finished. And even then, you don't care about whatever faults you find. It's nice to see a superhero movie nowadays that isn't trying to be all brooding and "new". This one has the right mix of laughs and action, and while the character development was lacking a little, Joss Wheedon handled it better than anyone else ever could. And it's nice to see a superheroine actually wearing clothes for once.

4. The Artist

I'm still amazed that this won the Best Picture Oscar, and not because something else may have deserved it (it was such a tough year this year, I would've been pleased with most of the other films winning), but because this film celebrating the golden age of Hollywood is French. We need movies like this, movies looking back and remembering the olden days with fondness. There are too many shallow movies around nowadays. Yes, I know the plot isn't the most original, but it is done in an original way that makes it appear new. Maybe it's the ending, maybe it's the fact I saw this with about 20 of my closest friends (we took up one and half rows in the cinema) or maybe it's simply because it moved me to tears, but I think this is my favourite film of the year. (And it did come out last year in Australia. Told you we had annoying release dates.)

3. Skyfall

I saw this twice. That's how awesome I found it. For the 50th anniversary of the Bond franchise, this is an excellent addition. It's a Bond film for people who don't like action movies! A blend of action sequences and character driven scenes that will keep everyone happy. And it adds some of the humour and campness from the old Bond films, which is what it set out to do anyway. Bring a mixture of the old and new together in one film. And permit me a moment to gush over the cinematography. Oh my god, that fight in silhouette on top of the building! And at the end, with the fire creating shadows on the moors!! Truly breathtaking. Plus Ralph Fiennes. Always a bonus.

2. The Sapphires

I don't think people in other countries understand how groundbreaking this film is. Only recently have their been more films including characters that are mostly Aboriginal, or specifically written for Aboriginal actors. This is only second mainstream film that I know of that has this. (Coincidentally, both this and Bran Nue Dae are both based on stage-plays and were both the opening night films at MIFF). And while everyone in the UK will be going on about Chris O'Dowd's performance, Deborah Mailman is the real star of the film. She gives a hard, but subtle performance as the leader of the group of sisters. One of my favourites, moving and funny, an definitely excellent.

1. Hugo

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. And it's more than likely none of you are even reading these little commentaries, anyway. This film is amazing. Breathtaking. Ground-breaking. Moving. This film is a whole bunch of adjectives that you aren't going to get unless you have experienced this wonder. And it's a Scorsese film above all else. The only thing left to say is, if you haven't seen it you're an idiot.

Well, there's that. Hopefully the next one will be out in a few days. Hopefully, someone is actually reading this. Right now, it's 33 degrees at a quarter to twelve. I don't think I'll be getting any sleep. Time to look up old Eurovision entries on youtube. Until next time, readers.

Worst Films of 2012

I think I saw too many movies this year. Unless 100 movies at the cinema isn't too much. Plus a couple of others via more than dubious means. I think I deserve a medal. But anyway, not all of them were going to be good. In all honesty, most of the films I would call bad weren't bad in the traditional sense (and by traditional, I mean Battfield Earth and Showgirls). No, most of them were boring. And mainly failed adaptations of things.

There will be other end of year lists, I'm just getting this one out of the way so that I don't leave a bad taste in my mouth. But I should explain something a little about how movies are distributed in Australia. A lot of the big movies that come out at the start of the year have already been released everywhere else, even a few of the lesser known movies (mainly British ones) that come out during the middle of the year were released the year before. Then there are times when we'll get movies a couple of weeks before everywhere else. And then there are those more arthouse-y films that were released two or even three years ago. So, just to let you know. These lists are more about what films I personally saw at cinemas this year. (Except for one on this list, and it fucking deserves to be here.) But yeah, if I just did the films that came out this year, then I wouldn't be able to finish these lists. Enough expotision, let's get on with it.

10. J. Edgar

This was the first bad movie of the year! And it's main problem is that it's too long. There are good moments, but I was falling asleep by the end. I want to like Clint Eastwood as a director, but he's too long winded. Though Trouble with the Curve was probably the worse movie from Clint this year (not counting that time when he talked to a chair), but I'm putting this on the list because some people still think it's good, when it really isn't worth it. It doesn't give you anything about the man you couldn't learn from a biography of him. Not worth it, and if you want to know more about what I think, though I doubt you will, then check out my actual review of it. (I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot.)

9. Wuthering Heights

I have a strong dislike for shaky cam movies due to the fact that they often spark my labrynthitis (which gives me vertigo). But even while I don't like shaky cam for personal reasons, I can still watch movies that use it, and recognise that they are good movies. The most obvious example from this year is Beasts of the Southern Wild. However, there was one movie this year that made me sick enough to miss work. That was this one. So, I may be a little biased towards this. But this isn't a good movie anyway. If nothing else, an adaptation should at least make you want to seek out the original that it was based on, and this doesn't give me any desire to read the book. It's too long, too dark and there are too many exterior shots of nature. The film is 129 minutes long, but if you took out all of the nature shots it would only be half that length. The natural lighting means that during night scenes you can't see anything. And it also makes it incredibly claustrophobic, and has a random scene of boderline necrophilia. But above all, this is boring, which is the worst adjective you can ever give a film.

8. Cosmopolis

I haven't read the book that this is based on, but after watching this film I don't think I need to. David Cronenberg made the wrong decision to keep all of the original dialogue from the book by Don DeLillo. It makes this film indecipherable. At least when you're reading a book you can stop and think about things, go back over things and take your time with it. When you're watching a film, things are constantly happening, and because you're in a cinema, you can't stop and go over things again. There are images that just look odd, not surreal but odd (if I want surreal and limousines, I'll watch Holy Motors), and each character has a massive speech that doesn't make sense unless you're really listening to it, which admittedly I wasn't. But in the end, like our previous entries, all this added up to was a boring film that was also incredibly pretentious.

7. Rock of Ages

Oh, I can't hate this film. This film is too stupid to be hated. I do think, however, that Adam Shankman took too many liberties with the plot, the voices are too auto-tuned and a lot of the characters are very poorly written. The musical numbers are too jumpy and unfocused to have any impact, and the main dude suffers from "Moulin Rouge" syndrome. Seriously, if he just talked to his girlfriend instead of jumping to conclusions then everything would be a lot simpler. But, out of all the films on this list, this would be the only one I'd recommend you go and see. It is hilariously bad! And it was the only so bad it's good movie to come out this year (at least, in my humble opinion). There are just some crazy moments that make no sense, either in reality or the context of the movie. But it is fucking silly as hell!

6. On the Road

When you watch this film, you can see the people just ticking off everything that they need to include in this adaptation. Drug montage, jazz montage, Mexico montage, all there. It's a purely paint by numbers adaptation of a book that would be ashamed to have this fairly mundane movie made from it. Again, this is BORING! I'm repeating myself too often in this list, but a boring movie is a terrible movie because you just don't feel anything towards it! Though, I am just a little bit annoyed with this film for making me waste my day on it and for plastering Kristen Stewart's breasts all over the place whenever they could. The book was just so alive and this adaptation was so dead, that's the main disappointing factor here. I think it was always just remain unfilmable.

5. Argo

Well, this is controversial. And to be absolutely honest, I was engaged whilst watching this film, it was a very entertaining film. But then I found out what really happened, the actual events, and this film just turned into a propaganda movie saying how fabulous America was. I can understand why it was recieved so poorly in Canada. There role is reduced to a cameo basically, with the CIA allowing them to bask in the glory while they supposedly did all the work. I find this film incredibly exploitative and self-congratulatory. I can't think about the film now without a bad taste in my mouth. And I'm surprised this has come from George Clooney's film studio, who are usually a lot better than this. If you do like it, fine. But now that I know what happened, I can't like this film anymore.

4. The Watch

Richard Ayoade, what are you doing in this? You're better than this! You shouldn't be here! Mind you, most of the actors in here shouldn't be in here. This could've been so much more! If they'd just re-read the script before they started shooting, instead of trying to be like a half-arsed version of Paul. But what we got was a mess of idiocy. I was actually ashamed to be in a room where people were laughing at this. If you did laugh at this, why? It wasn't funny, it wasn't clever! Why weren't you spending your money on good quality comedy? Why wasn't I spendig my money on good quality comedy! I think I need a cry.

3. Margin Call

I've ranted about this movie before. But it had such a good cast! Why did it turn out so crap? Well, the script probably had something to do with it. They could've made it a little clearer. No, they could've made it a lot clearer! Nothing made sense in this movie, unless you already know every minute detail about the stock market crash! And it was fucking nominated for a fucking Oscar!! Gah! This film frustrates me for what it could've been, but not as much as the next one.

2. Dark Shadows

I know you can't hear me through a computer screen but I groan everytime I think or someone mentions this movie. It's fucking stupid, and not in a good way. The worst part? Johnny Depp. He needs to re-think his movie choices. And he needs a break from Tim Burton. This film would've been better if Burton could just decide on a tone, either horror or comedy. this is one of the movies that can't be both. I haven't seen the original TV show, but from what I've heard, shoving every plot twist from the show into the film was not a good idea. I've said all I can about this film. Let's move onto the worst that this year has offered.

1. The Lorax

This film baffles me and angers me. Why the fuck does the Onceler have a face? Why has the main plot of the film been condensed into a 3 minute musical number? Why does the Lorax try to kill someone? Why is there even a fucking plot when there is no reason for there to be one? And most importantly, why the fuck did Audrey Seuss okay this shit of a film? I did not pay to see this film. If you did pay to see it, then your money was wasted. There should not be a plot. The people of Thneedville are shown to be quite happy paying for air, they don't seem to care about trees. Which means that the plot is fueled by Zac Efron's desire to impress Taylor Swift. Break that down, and the plot happens because Efron wants to get laid. This is the only film to make me angry every time I think about it. And now, there's a fucking Onceler subculture. THAT SHOULDN'T BE! HE SHOULD NOT HAVE A FACE!! If I could, I would burn everything to do with this film. Even Danny Devito. I'm sorry if you like this film, but you have really terrible taste.

So, yeah there it is. The worst films of this year from my opinion. This was hard to do. Mainly because most of these films were so goddamn boring. But thankfully, there were a lot more awesome movies that came out this year. So much more, that I have to do two separate lists. One for mainstream movies, and one for non-mainstream movies. Hopefully, I'll get them up before the end of the week. Until next time, readers.