Take This Waltz

I only know Sarah Polley as an actor. So, when I heard that she directed, and wrote, this (her second feature) I was instantly curious. Hell, I didn't even know she could direct. Well, I do now and I can safely say that she's pretty good actually. Some people are biased against actors directing, but in really they are the best people for the job. They understand what actors go through and how they work on set, and all that (unless you're Laurence Olivier directing Marilyn Monroe, the old fashioned bastard). So, does that mean that this is a good film even though it's pretty brilliantly directed? Well, I think it is... sometimes...


Michelle Williams stars as Margot, an aspiring writer who has been married to Lou (Seth Rogen) for 5 years. While on a business trip, she meets Daniel (Luke Kirby) who just so happens to be her neighbour. As the two become closer, they realise that they have romantic feelings towards each other, with Margot being drawn between her husband and Daniel. Comparing this to the other two rom-coms I've seen this year (The Five Year Engagement and Friends With Kids) the main difference between them and Take This Waltz is in the way the plot is formed. In the other two, the story comes from the scenario, the main premise of the movie that the characters find themselves in. In this film, it's the characters actions that move the plot forward, which makes the film seem more natural rather than the other two. The Five Year Engagement and Friends With Kids seem almost forced into being this single premise that drives the movie. A lot of rom-coms (a lot of plain old romance movies in general) are unfortunately like this, and it is exceedingly rare that you find a movie like Take This Waltz.

So, this is a refreshing rom-com that goes for realism rather than glamour. Right now, I can recommend it on that level alone. At another level of recommendation, the acting is superb, especially from Williams, playing a woman who is becoming more and more depressed at the predicament that she has landed herself in, and Sarah Silverman, who plays Lou's sister and a reforming alcoholic going through an existential crisis. There are also some truly moving moments, including one that definitely seemed to take inspiration from the infamous diner scene from When Harry Met Sally, and another that takes place on a fairground ride where there is no talking, just two people sharing looks of resignation and sadness. But that's the thing. For me at least, this film seems to made up of brilliant, realistic moments and scenes that don't really come together as a whole. And I blame both the characters and the overly twee nature of the film. God, this film is cutesy! Everything looks like it came out of a pixie-dream-girl catalogue. The house Lou and Margot live in, the clothes they wear, and, worst of all, the excrutiating love games that they play together!

But tweeness aside, this it is Margot that drives this film. She is the central focus and her actions are what moves the plot forward. She turns the film from a generic rom-com with a pixie-girl lead into a look into the mind of a woman who is suffering from the every day normal depression and confusion that we all suffer from from time to time. So, for me this is not a film about a woman trying to choose between loyalty to her husband and the new attraction she feels for a stranger, well it is, but only on the surface. For me, this is about people trying to keep going, living life for the good times that only come up once in a blue moon. It's about living from moment to moment, trying to find happiness in everything, but more often than not, failing. It's just about life. I know that all these cliches make it sound sappy, but believe me it's really not. It's just real, and most difinitely not as perfect as I make it out to be.

The major grievance I have with this film is the ending, or endings. For you see there are many places where it could've stopped. I suppose it went for more realistic and less Hollywoodanised ending. But I would've been happier if it ended around 20 minutes prior to when it did. It was a little more romantic, yeah, but sometimes the fairytale ending is what we want, what we need, when we go to see a film. Though I wouldn't really call either stopping points a fairytale. But with the extra padding, the movie starts to drag, and it loses some of the magic that the rest of the film had.

And I haven't even started on how good Seth Rogen was! (Or how good the soundtrack is as well, for that matter) This is really the best live action movie I've seen him in (I maintain that he would make an excellent voice actor) and it really proves he can act. Luke Kirby is also excellent, and Sarah Silverman steals the movie with her underrated performance. I know this isn't for everyone, but if you are interested do see it. The cuteness doesn't overpower (in parts, generally it's pretty balanced though) but it can annoy at times. The cast is excellent and there are some truly exceptional scenes. I can see this little mis-matched gem becoming a cult favourite in years to come. And you know what, it's probably the most romantic film I've seen all year! Until next time folks.

Peter Gabriel's Music Videos

If you hadn't already guessed from the title, I am a massive Peter Gabriel fan. I love pretty much every song of his, ever! I love the creative intensity of his live shows. And I absolutely adore his music videos. His videos are some of the weirdest, mind-boggling, visually amazing and awesome things I have ever seen. And I think this largely comes from Gabriel having a lot of say when it comes to what happens in them. They often reflect the mood of the music rather than what's happening in the lyrics, and like the music he puts out, they are a crazy bunch of eclectic epicness and produced to perfection.

This is my list of the top ten best of his videos. And this was very hard to put together. Mainly because there are so many videos that I could've put on here, and there were some really hard decisions involving the final few. So, if you don't agree at all with my list, I understand. And that's why I'm just going to name a few of the runners up before we get down to the top ten itself. These didn't make it not because they're bad, but because the others are just better.

Shock the Monkey
I Don't Remember
In Your Eyes
Modern Love

All of his videos are excellent in their own way, but some just stand a cut above the rest and are more memorable than others. Some were chosen on a more personal level, some on a purely technical level, and some just because they were weird enough to have a lasting impression. So, without further ado, Showtime!

10. Father, Son

Simplicity is sometimes the best way to go, especially with slow songs. And this has to be Gabriel's simplest video. There's no weird or shocking imagery and no crazy animation. It's just him sitting at a piano performing his song, with clips of him and his father interspersed throughout. It's the most normal out of his videos, and yet also one of the most emotional. The song itself is very simple and the video suits it magnificently. But why did I choose this one and not one of his older ones, like 'Shock the Monkey'? Well, this is the only one of Gabriel's videos that brings me to tears every time, and that has to count for something.

9. Lovetown

I showed this to my friend, and he thought he was on an LSD trip. This is a fucking bizarre video, inspired by the artwork of Yayoi Kusama (who likes polka dots... a lot!), but it is incredibly memorable. I think it's meant to represent the loneliness that can sometimes be found within families, and the monotonous time that happens in the suburbs. I think. It's fairly cryptic, going more for fitting the mood of the music and changes that happens in the song. It was a tough call between this one and the little known video for 'Come Talk to Me', but in the end, this one proved to be the more interesting choice, mainly cause it's so fucking insane!

8. Solsbury Hill

It's impossible for me to pick a favourite Peter Gabriel song, but this one comes pretty close. There are about five different versions of the video around, so I have to be specific and say that the original promo cut (I think that's what it is) is the best one, and not the newer one that's filled with cabbages. 'Solsbury Hill' was Gabriel's first solo single after leaving Genesis, and is actually about what he went through after he quit the band. The video isn't really about that, it isn't really about anything. It's more of a mood piece. This came out in 1977, when music videos were still taking baby steps, but you can still see a lot of classic Gabriel-isms in it. The close up shots of his face, random imagery that just seems to fit perfectly, even some really basic animation. The thing that stands out for me is the way it captures the coming of age feel of that the song brings. It's about welcoming the new, while looking back at the past.

7. Digging in the Dirt

If you know anything about the 1992 album Us, you'll know the back story to this song. This is a very angry song about Gabriel's failed first marriage (and the other songs from the album reflect this as well) and the video explores what things contribute to an end of a relationship, but in a more exaggerated manner. At least, that's what I get from the car and beach scenes. The parts with Gabriel buried in the dirt (an apparently grueling shoot, with the poor dude having to lie in the same position for days on end) seem to reflect the soul-searching he was also going through at the time. The fact that those parts take place during the quieter chorusof the the song seems to enhance that theory. In all honesty, I think this video suits the song that it's for better than most of the others. Though the sight of Peter Gabriel being buried alive scared me when I was a kid.

6. Growing Up

Now, this video makes slightly more sense than some of the other videos (like 'Lovetown') and has more of a story as well. It seems to be about how our modern lives are isolating us from others, and also how we keep growing up as a society and are taking over the world with our cities. The changes between the city and the pebble beach suit the changes in the tempo of the song so well. The songs lyrics seem to be about moving through life without really living it, so again, everything fits perfectly. This was Gabriel's second major music video in around ten years after Us (the first being the Sean Penn directed 'Barry Williams Show') and is much better than it's predecessor. It harks back to his earlier days of crazy imagery videos, and if you watch back to back with 'Solsbury Hill' you can really see how far Gabriel has come since then.

5. Blood of Eden

Religious imagery abounds in this obvious comparison between Gabriel's personal life and the relationship between Adam and Eve. The video also features Irish singer Sinead O'Connor, who provided vocals on some of the tracks from Us. This video is the the most like a film. An art-house film, where every frame means something and not a single second is wasted in trying to put across the message. And the message is that while two people may love each other it doesn't that they can work well together and last the distance. Using the biblical story of Adam of Eve proves that Gabriel really is a musical genius, but in the video I do think that O'Connor gives a better, more ambiguous and underrated performance.

4. Big Time

Yes! We have made it to the stop-motion/claymation videos!! At long last, the technical genius of this video will be known! Well, only to those who can be bothered reading this. This one came after 'Sledgehammer' and both have amazing technical achievements, but I do have to give props to 'Big Time' especially for the moving pile of earth at the beginning. It's awesome! And that's really all this is too. A silly, fun music video to suit a bombastic, over the top song about selling out and enjoying it. Plus, it's got a bobble-head Peter Gabriel driving a stop-motion car. How awesome is that!

3. Steam

The epicness of this video appears within the first 30 seconds. Peter Gabriel gets out of an over-stretched stretch limo dressed as a Pimp. Fuck. Yeah. This is a song about sex in relationships, with a video about sex. And also a little bit about how sex is seen through different symbolistic images. Instead of the stop-motion of his earlier years, the animation is very early CG-I, and is laughably bad in some parts. But then, if it's bad why is it so high on the list? Well, this is the very first music video I remember watching, so there is a big bag of nostalgia tied to this for me. Also, Gabriel seems to having the most fun in this video, like he knew it was silly and kinda stupid. Like in 'Big Time', this is just pure fun, and I love every fast-paced minute of it!


2. Red Rain

In this song, I think Gabriel gives his most emotive performance. His eyes give this look of askance as he raises them to the heavens as if to ask the gods "Why?" This is a fairly simple video, just a spotlight that highlights different parts of Gabriel's face while an African dancer gives off a truly moving performance with an amazing dress as a prop. The fantastic opening (which is really hard to explain in words so watch it!) grips you and draws you in from the get go. Because the song could be interpreted in many ways, having an ambigous music video was an excellent choice to make, and this becomes one of the most powerful music videos made.

1. Sledgehammer

Honestly, if you didn't see this one coming, then you cannot call yourself a fan of this man. His most famous video, the most played video on MTV and if you ask anyone what their favourite P.G music video is, 9 times out of 10 they will say this one. It's the most recognisable, the weirdest, the most technically brilliant and one of the best music videos ever! I don't even need to go into the details of this video, everyone knows what happens in it! Oh, and the song is pretty awesome too. Like 'Steam', it's about sex (Hooray!) but it could also be taken as a slightly weird love song. I can't really say much else. This was always going to be number one. I love the balls off this video and it looks like the rest of the world does too.

Sorry for the epic length of this. I got writing and couldn't stop. I hope at the very least you like some of the songs here, even if you don't agree with some of the choices or the order. Now, if you'll excuse me, there is a living room that needs to be filled with crazy embarassing dance moves!

I Was a Male War Bride (List Movie)

Cary Grant is one of the greatest actors to have ever graced the silver screen. The epitomy of American man-hood (even though his real name was Archie Leach and he was born in Bristol) Grant was able to be charming and sexy, or fumbling and screwball whenever and wherever it was required. The man was perfect, able to switch between comedies like Arsenic and Old Lace and dramas like An Affair to Remember. If I have one complaint about him, it's that he makes a terrible woman.

I Was a Male War Bride is based on the true story of Henri Rochard, played by Grant in the film (and whose original autobiography was called I was an Alien Spouse of Female Military Personnel Enroute to the United States Under Public Law 271 of the Congress). Rochard was a Belgian who married an Amreican Army Nurse, and went through a massive kerfuffle to be with her in America. This film is about that kerfuffle! Though there are some changes, of course. For example, Rochard in the film is a captain in the French Army. And his love interest, Catherine Gates played by Ann Sheridan, is a Lieutenant in the American Army. But, having never read the book, these changes are made in the best interests of the film, and work well within the story. Anyway, the kerfuffle that the plot is based on, is this: the orders come in for the American troops to leave on Henri and Catherine's wedding night, and Rochard finds that the only way he can accompany his wife back to America is to apply as a war bride.

By the end of the film, you end up feeling so sorry for Rochard. It transpires that American women aren't expected to get married to foreigners for all of the paper-work is expected to be filled out by brides, not husbands. This isn't the only protocol that seems a little bit extreme. Three wedding ceremonies, civil, Army, and church, are needed to satisfy the authorities. And when they are married, and with the forms filled out, there are still many confused people who come across Rochard and his predicament. He is thrown out of the war brides quarters, the American army quarters, and the German army quarters at one point, and I don't think he sleeps in three days. And when he finally does get to the boat that will him and his wife to America, the navy won't let him on board because he's a man. So, of course, he has to dress up as a woman to get on. And that's not the half of it.

No seriously, that's only half the movie. The latter half, I might add, sorry for not posting spoiler. But the film isn't really about the plot, it's more about the little comedic touches that hide themselves within the scenes, and are brought to life brilliantly by Grant and Sheridan. Also, film is infamous for the cross-dressing scene, so whatever pictures/reviews you find of it will make mention of the fact that you see Cary Grant in a skirt. But to be honest, the first half of the film is better. Not that the second half is bad, but it's bogged down a bit by the protocol and you annoyed really easily at how stupid the American military personnel are. The first half deals with romance (or lack there of) between Catherine and Henri, who are forced together on a mission against their wishes.

 Hate at first sight! Hooray! The best way to start our stars off. The way they tolerate each other, that slowly grows to a strong affection and then to love. They don't make films like this any more. It's very fluffy and very fun! But also kinda weird. This was released in 1949, and takes place in Germany, were the American and French armies are working together to rebuild after the Third Reich... I think. It's not quite explained why they are there (though I did do some research, and they were there mainly to stop any more Nazi's popping up), but the history nut in me finds this incredibly interesting. I think the weirdest thing, though, is that they chose Cary Grant to play a Frenchman. I know why they chose him, he's Cary Grant! But he talks in his transatlantic accent all the way through. It's particularly jarring when there are actual jokes about him being French. But at the same time, I think the filmmakers knew that, and decided to have a little joke themselves.

It's a shame that this movie isn't as well known as some of Grant's other movies, though thankfully more people are seeing it now. It isn't as good a comedy as Arsenic and Old Lace, but it is light-hearted and fun, and the romance is genuine between the leads. It's just a really sweet film about two people falling in love, at the end of the day. The gimmick that made this film famous (or infamous) isn't there until 5 minutes before the end, and it doesn't actually stand up to what the rest of the film has to offer. The little moments of comedy are what make this movie shine, sometimes even through the big set-pieces. Sorry for spoiling the ending, and for not being as long as some of my other reviews. Next time, hopefully a list, and let me leave you with this rather dashing picture of one of the most handsome men to have lived.

Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages has to be the scariest film I have ever seen. And it's not because it surprisingly turned out to be good. No, this is pretty bad and there's no other way it could've turned out. But this is terrifying because however bad it is, you just don't care. I was laughing all the way through this, (sometimes even at the jokes) and I can't say that I hated this movie, however stupid it is, and however much you suspend your disbelief. We haven't had a truly terrible, campy flick in a while, usually they have been either Adam Sandler unbearable, or Twilight epic fail. It is rare to see a film that I hate and love at the same time.

Let me explain myself more, and not explain the plot because it's predictable, yet also incredibly ridiculous. There are moments when you have to suspend your disbelief, like Julianne Hough's Sherrie who travels to L.A. with a suitcase full of records instead of clothes, and yet still has a different outfit every day! And a massive amount of black eye-liner. There is no concept of time in this film either. The two main characters (Hough and Diego Boneta's Drew) do the love at first sight thing, which is fine, then they have a montage and hang out, which seems to take place over a week. But that doesn't make sense, since it's told that only a couple days after Sherrie arrives it's meant to be the last show of famed rock group Arsenal, fronted by Tom Cruise's Stacee Jaxx. It makes more (and by more I mean less) sense in the film, but there is no sense of time! Seriously, there's another montage later on to "Any Way You Want It" and it could take place over one day, but it doesn't look like it does, and yet we don't know.... GAH! But that's just a couple of the minor frustrations, and if you don't think about them, they won't ruin the movie.

Not that there aren't a million other things that would ruin the film. Let's get to the two big ones: Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough. First off, who thought these two could act? They try, they really do. But they just can't act. There are some hilarious misread lines in here, and some really off lip-synching during the songs. It's like they were overacting the dialogue and underacting the songs.
In my opinion, though, I think Julianne Hough comes off better that Diego Boneta. He's just... not what a leading man should do. I didn't find him charming, and he looked too clean-cut to be a rock n' roll enthusiast. Other actors came off better, if not by much. Catherine Zeta-Jones was awesomely over the top, Alec Baldwin was ... Alec Baldwin, Malin Ackerman was good, though her character needed a bit more work. Not that the character wasn't fleshed out in some way, she just goes through this massive change from out of no where with no real reason as to why she does it. Russell Brand was good. (You don't know how much it hurts me to give a compliment to that man) Mary J. Blige was a little wooden, but that can be forgiven because she gives the best musical performances and she doesn't do that much acting in the film anyway. And Tom Cruise seemed to think he was in a serious movie for half the time. Not that he was bad, but it wasn't til the second half where there more of a tongue in cheek attitude to his acting.

So, that's the acting down, but again if you can stand the bad acting of films like Battlefield Earth and Showgirls then this is nothing compared to them. The really bad thing about this film is the butchering of all the songs that appear in the film. Everyone sounds like Katy Perry. The autotune is turned to 11 and by god it is terrible! Except Mary J. Blige, who thankfully is in this. It's more disconcerting than anything. I love the film Chicago, but either Catherine Zeta-Jones' voice has changed drastically, or someone fucked around on the audio afterwards. None of the actors sound like themselves! The attempt to make actors Brand and Baldwin sound good (no doubt after the disastorous performance by Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia) makes them sound completely different from themselves. And so it is obvious that they are lip-synching and makes the songs even more unbearable. So this leaves me feeling that I can't fully like the songs because they sound so fake, and so I can't comment on the performances given by the cast because I know that they're fake, and judging them would be unfair.

But the thing that really pisses me off about the songs is that they are all mash-ups and they're all duets. There is only one solo song that I can think of ("Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Zeta-Jones' character) and there isn't really any point for some of them to be mash-ups or duets. The film seems to think that there are so many of them crammed into the run time. Too many of them. it fills your mind, all the fake singing. It gets in your head and drives you crazy! And one of the songs is from the 90s, while the film is set in 1987. Nice one Shankman, you really do fail at adapting musicals. I haven't seen the original stage play, but I really wish I had. It looks to be a lot more fun, a lot more hilarious and possibly more mature. For instance, the final message of the stage-play is that you don't need fame and fortune to live a truly happy life. The message of the film was... love is good? Also, Cruise's character was changed to become a much more likeable and sympathetic person, whereas in the stage-play he was a douche. This seems to be Tom Cruise making changes for his benefit rather than anyone elses, but it's not confirmed. I still blame him and Shankman.

But I said I liked this, and there has to be a reason for it. And there is. Some of the shots are so ape-shit crazy. It's like some sort of comic madman turned up and fiddled around with the director... that sounded dirty... But anyway, in order to explain what I mean, I need to tell you about my favourite scene and the best scene in the movie. Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand singing "Can't Fight This Feeling" to each other, ending with a kiss between them. Picture that to yourself. How the fuck did they come up with that? It is genius and brilliant and the fucking best thing in the entire film! But there are other little moments like this, like Tom Cruise singing into Malin Ackerman's arse. Yep, that happened too. And it's really those little moments that I reccomend the film for. Maybe not on the big screen, unless you see it on tight-arse Tuesday, but definitely for when it comes out on DVD.

And that's really it for this mess of madness. I have to say that there were a couple of jokes put in here that I actually did laugh at, but if you hate musicals give this a miss. There are a dozen other things wrong with this film that I could've brought up, but at the same time, I can't fully hate it because it was just so stupid. Could this be the Showgirls of our century? Nah, it was never going to be a great film, but I'd reccomend it in the same way I'd reccomend Showgirls in that it is unintentionally funny, just a whole lotta fun. Next review is either Take This Waltz or a list of some sort. But until then, so long, farewell, bye bye!

Anton Chekhov's The Duel & End of Term List

(sigh) This film wasn't good. But it wasn't bad. It merely was. It exists, and it is there. But, at the same time, if it didn't exist nothing would be lost. This film is simply competent. It's nicely acted, it's nicely shot, it nicely costumed. It's nice to look at. But there is no intensity, no spark, no fire, no heart.

Just to go into more detail about everything, the performances are watchable but not exceptional. The characters are downright loathsome, especially the main character (whose name escapes me, everyones name escaped me) who you are meant to sympathise with. But even then, they aren't so bad as to get a response from me other than they didn't send me to sleep. The scenery is actually pretty beautiful, but so much so that it outshines the cast. As does the music, which is some of the best film music I've heard this year.

If you hadn't guessed yet, I don't want to spend too much time on this film, hence why I'm not going into too much detail. From what little I can remember from the plot, it seems this film was try to capture the tone of the novella it was based on, while forgetting that what works well in a book, won't translate into a film. In the end, this film is just boring, forgettable, and kinda nice to look at.

But now we've got that out of the way, it's time to rank the films that I saw this term! From worst to best, with little side notes about what really stood out from each of them.

8. Dark Shadows - Worst Make-Up Effects Since Twilight

 

7. The Duel - Mediocrity's Finest Accomplishment

6. Wish You Were Here - Most Frustrating Ending

5. Trishna - Best Use of Whistling

4. Careless Love - Least Amount of Naughty Bits Shown in a Film About Prostitution

3. The Woman in the Fifth - Most Confusing Film of the Year (so far)

2. Footnote - Best Mix of Comedy and Heart-ache

1. Once Upon a Time in Anatolia - Too many "Oh my fucking god! That is beautiful!" shots in one movie, that it gives you an orgasm

Anyway, that's it for this term. I'll hopefully keep doing these blogs. I've got a couple of lists planned, and a couple more list movies I want to talk about, as well as some upcoming movies. And I'll probably be doing the course again next term. So, I hope I haven't bored you internet, cause I'll be back soon!

Once Upon a Time in Anatolia

Oh God, where do I being with this? This has to be one of the most visually beautiful, stunningly deep, and down right gorgeous films I have ever seen. There is so much here to talk about, so many themes, so many shots that will stay in my mind for a long time after I've seen this. But this poses a conumdrum. For you see, I could tell you everything about this film that captured me, but this is one of those films that you really have to experience and discover for yourself. So, I'm going to give the things that stood out for me personally, and just hope that you go out and watch it, and come up with your own conclusions.


So, the basic plot is a group of police officers, including the Chief of Police for one of the big villages, a Prosecutor and a Doctor who have been brought in from out of Anatolia, and two Suspects, who travel around the countryside of Anatolia looking for a body. But it's not about that, not really. It's about the different characters, and how they strangely bond over this "quest", and how they respond to what happens over the course of the night. But, again, it's not just about that. It's about everything that isn't said, the silence in pauses, the looks between people. It's about what makes people human, what makes them monsters and everything in between. Director Nuri Bilge Ceylan has said that he prefers to not use words, because a lot more is said in silences, so the dialogue is minimal and is never really about the main plot. In a nutshell, it's deep. It's fucking deep.

I'm not really going to sell this film if I say there is a lot of standing around, looking at scenery and talking. This is like a murder mystery after the mystery has been solved. But, oh! The scenery is beautiful! Ceylan is a photographer as well as a director, if you pause any moment of the film you could sell the frame as a photo. The third shot of the film is two cars and a police truck driving along the winding Anatolian roads while the sun is setting, and it has to be one of the most amazing things I have ever seen, in film and otherwise. The lighting is incredible as well. The first half of the film takes place during the night and the only lights that are used are the headlights of the three vehicles and the "moon". Yet, with this minimal lighting it's amazing what you can see. The darkness is almost this mystical protector, and indeed when daylight does come, the characters become actual people rather than the half hidden hunters that they were during the night.

Instead of talking about all the big themes in this film, I'm just going to talk about the one that stood out the most for me. As I said earlier, there is a lot in this film, and you could come up with any number of things that I never picked up on. But for me, there was this overwhelming theme of guilt. A lot of the characters seemed to have this nagging guilt that they just couldn't leave behind and would interfere with the work they were sent to accomplish. There's Kenan (Fırat Tanış), the Suspect, who is haunted by the friend that he killed. The Chief of police, Commissar Naci (Yılmaz Erdoğan) who is never there for his son and beginning to feel the repercussions of that neglect. The Prosecutor (Taner Birsel), who's story I won't spoil because it's one of the greatest (for lack of a better word) twists of the movie. Even the mysterious Doctor Cemal (Muhammet Uzuner) and Chauffer Arap Ali (Ahmet Mümtaz Taylan) have hints of guilt or regret in what little of their back stories is revealed. Again, I already fear I'm saying too much, and I don't want to spoil the film but the guilt of the characters for me is what fills every frame.

And I haven't even got onto the acting! I'm not sure I should reveal anthing more about the characters, I do feel it is better going into any film and not really knowing what it's about. What I will say is that there is a forced sense of formality that doesn't truly disappear over the course of the film. And that there is a really dark wit to the writing at times. I'm serious, there are some laugh out loud moments in here. The acting felt a little wooden at the beginning but that might just've been the different cultures and a different acting style to waht I'm normally used to, and after a while you don't notice it. 

I'm not going to pretend that this is a film for everyone. As much as I implore you to watch it, many of you won't and even if you all did, I'm sure there would be many of you that wouldn't like it. This is not a Hollywood movie, this is about as un-Hollywood as you can possibly get. There are lots of silences, and lots of darkness. There isn't any soundtrack, and except for natural noises, there is only one time when there is music. And it is long. Apparently 150 hours of footage was shot, and that was cut down to 157 minutes. The pace of the film is very slow and steady, so by the third act it does start to drag. But I don't care. By the time third act arrived for me, I was so engrossed with this movie that I had to see how it would finish, even though I did feel the drag.

 

Keeping with the un-Hollywood feel of it all, nothing is fully explained or finished. It is ambiguous, but in a good way. In a way that sticks in your mind for ages after and makes you think what actually happened. A lot of the main "action" happens off screen, making it even more ambiguous and confusing. This could be very annoying for some people who like their endings nice and neat. But I do have to say that the atmosphere is truly exceptional. I felt cold in the cinema, it felt like I was personally part of it and freezing my arse off in the cold Anatolian night. 

What more can I say? I love this film. It's one of the best films I've seen this year, if not the best, so far. All I can say now is if I've sparked your interest in any way, please go and see this film on the big screen. It's one of the only film I've seen in years that really seems to understand that film is a visual medium. All I'm doing now is repeating myself. So, I'd better stop before you get bored. Until next time, dear readers. Until next time. 

 

Dark Shadows

 
Well... it looks nice? Seriously, what can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said by everyone else. It's not a good movie! At times, it's amusing, the scenery is stunning and the CGI is okay. But as a vampire movie, a Tim Burton movie and just on it's own, it really fucking sucks. It sucks so much, that I'm going to be swearing throughout this review! In all honesty, I'd say that this is Tim Burton's worst film.

So, the plot is Barnabus Collins is turned into a vampire by scorned servant/witch Angelique, and is buried in the 1800s only to be uncovered in the 1970s. There isn't much plot in this film, it's more like set pieces made up of failed ideas that roughly convey a series of events and plot twists from the TV show it was based on. So, naturally it's a big mess. My expectations weren't high when I first saw the trailer, but I thought it would be a bit of fun, a romp-like experience if you will. But I never thought it would be so bad!

But before I go into what was bad (and believe me there is a lot) let's see if there's anything good in the film. As I said earlier, the general aestheticis very impressive. Burton always knows how to create these incredible worlds in his films, and this one is no different. Eva Green as Angelique is enjoyabley chewing scenery, and she is deffinitely the best actor. Although, Johnny Lee Miller and Bella Heathcote are also fairly good. The soundtrack is excellent and Alice Cooper steals the show when he appears on screen. The opening 20 or so minutes are good, when we are introduced to the family (and when Johnny Depp isn't on screen). That's about it for praise from me. Now take a breathe, cause this could take a while.

To better explain what makes this film bad, I'm going to compare it to another notoriously awful film, Batman and Robin. One of the main problems with that movie was the dramatic tonal shifts it would suddenly take, causing massive whip-lash for anyone watching. It would juxtapose the really dark and serious moments with really campy and laughable moments. Dark Shadows does the same and it's really apparent in Johnny Depp's character. Also, both films are ridiculously obssessed with family.

 But back to Depp. I'm going to be brutally honest and just say right out that Johnny Depp is the worst part of the film. He was overacting terribly, his make-up was Twilight ridiculous (oh yeah, I went there!) and he didn't seem to be having any fun at all. it doesn't help that his character was written awfully as well. Depp has said that Barnabus Collins was one of his favourite characters growing up. Now, I have never seen the original Dark Shadows soap, but from what I've heard the Jonathan Frid Barnabus was fairly evil, coniving and manipulative, and it was throughout the course of the show he grew more sympathetic and remorseful for the things he had done. It suprises me that both Depp and Burton (who was also a fan of the TV show) could've fucked up the character so much. The main problem with Barnabus is that it's unclear as to whether he's really a good guy or not. He does all these horrible acts (murdering innocent people, breaking Angelique's heart, and she is the more sympathetic character here) and doesn't really feel regret about them, and yet we're meant to sympathise because he's brooding over the fact that he doesn't want to be a vampire. It doesn't make him sympathetic, it just makes him a douche.

So, don't see this movie. I feel like I've wasted too much time on it already, that it doesn't deserve. I did giggle a few times, but they were few and far between. It's a shame to see someone like Tim Burton, who used to be creative and different, fall from such heights and become mediocre. Well, next week a return to the arty with a Cannes film favourite from Turkey. Until then, I've no choice but to follow the call. Sleep doesn't like me at the moment.

The Best and Worst of Eurovision 2012

So, last week was Eurovision. Hooray! And because I can, I'm going to put out my favourite and least favourite songs from the contest this year. Hopefully, I'll be doing this every year, so lucky for you guys! And because it's easier (sometimes harder) I'm only going to be choosing songs from the gand final., and I'm only going to pick 5 songs for best and worst.

Without further ado, let's begin with the worst first! Keep in mind that this is my opinion and that if you like the songs, fair enough. I just don't. This was hard, because usually a lot of the truly terrible acts get eliminated before the grand final. But it doesn't mean that there aren't any bad ones to be found.

5. Rona Nishliu - "Suus" from Albania

OK, so first I have to give Albania props for doing something different and interesting. But in the end, this is just a ballad. And a weird one at that. The song never stops growing, and at times it feels like she's out of tune when she isn't. And my ears exploded when she went to the uber high notes. I can see why people may like it, but it's just too bizarre and ear-bleeding for me to like fully. And why does she have an umbilical cord wrapped around her neck?

4. Jedward - "Waterline" from Ireland

Do I even have to have a reason for this one? It's Jedward, you know it's going to be bad before you hear it. I feel sorry the backing singers they have who have to sing over the top of their whiny out of tune voices. In all honesty, the song isn't that bad (it's better than last years). Maybe Ireland should actually pick people who can sing rather than pretty boys who can kinda dance a little. And who have normal hair! There's nothing more to say other than ... they look like Lady Gaga's love slaves? Seriously, I know it's Eurovision, but what's with the hair!!

3. Eleftheria Eleftheriou - "Aphrodisiac" from Greece

I was talking to my dad about this song. The girl can't sing, the song is really mediocre and the dancing is bland. But that's not why she got through. See if you can guess why. The song is called "Aphrodisiac", the girl is wearing a tiny dress, the dancing is sexualised, are you getting the picture now? This is probably one of the best of the worst, just classic bad Eurovision. Mediocre, sexual and boring. This doesn't piss me off as much as what's coming, but it's still not good.

2. Zeljko Joksimovic - "Nije Ijubav Stvar" from Serbia

Ooh, this is controversial! Okay, this song really pisses me off, even though it's not bad. This is more to do with the guy singing it. His ego is dripping from every pore on his body, and soaks into the song and makes me hate it intensley. I know it's a stupid thing to get hung up about, and that I should focus on the song more than the person performing it. But let me compare Zeljko Joksimovic to the Cyprus entry, Ivi Adamou. Her song "La La Love" is cheesey and stupid but I really like it and that's partly to do with her charisma and fun. Zeljko Joksimovic has the much better song, but he comes off as arrogant and pretentious and ... annoying. So, yeah, the performer matters Serbia. Please me next time! (Because I must be pleased!)

1. Can Bonomo - "Love Me Back" from Turkey

 

This is purely awful. The song is bad, the singer is bad, the performance is bad. I think this might have been harmed by being put right after the Swedish entry, but that doesn't excuse it. The thing that pisses me off most about this song though is that it got 112 points. It didn't even deserve 1! I can't believe it got so high and that people actually liked it. Am I the only one who thinks that this is the most overrated song of the whole competition? The fact that this got so many points makes me worry for our future.

Anyway, because it's never good to end on a sour note, now we'll go onto the best songs of Eurovision, in my mind anyway. If you've seen the show, then you'll probably guess which song is number one.

5. Compact Disco - "The Sound of Our Hearts" from Hungary and Gaitana - "Be My Guest" from the Ukraine

(Shut up! My list!) Yeah, kind of cheating, but these 2 are both exceptional. So, Hungary first. This is refreshing. It's a serious pop song, performed well, that has a good melody and lyrics. I really like it, it sounds like something that could actually hear on the radio.

Ukraine is probably the exact opposite. This is a fast, fun song that makes you dance, that has no brain and doesn't even try to have one. Fun is the best way it can be described, and with so many ballads this year, this just stands out so well!

4. Soluna Samay - "Should've Known Better" from Denmark

This song deserved so much better than it got. Written by busker Soluna Samay, and really simply performed, this is probably the only song out of the competition that will end up on the radio and reach the masses. It is just so damn good and also a really sweet love song! I know I'm going to be reusing adjectives all the way through these songs, but I think you just have to listen to them to find out that they are excellent. And this one expecially.

3. Nina Zilli - "L'amore e Femmina (Out of Love)" from Italy

This song has gotten a lot of unnecessary criticism for looking and sounding like Amy Winehouse. Really? People are stupid enough to point that out. You do know that Adele also has the retro soul thing going on? You know that Amy Winehouse wasn't the first person to do it, just the most successful? Yes, this is a retro sounding, rockabilly type song, and it's awesome has hell! But people can't seem to get over the fact that other people can perform and write songs in that genre. I'm sorry to sound so negative, especially when I probably should be taking it as a compliment that they are comparing to as talented an artist as the late great Winehouse. But really, judge the song on it's own. And don't dismiss it because it's in the same style that other songs are in.

2. Kurt Calleja - "This is the Night" from Malta

How I wish more music today sounded like this song. Remember how I said that the Ukraine had the dance song, and Denmark had the love song. Well, Malta has the "Vivre la vie!" song. It makes you tap your feet and jump up and sing along with it! Plus the fancy foot work of the singer and band is worth the watch alone. Unfortunately, the grand final performance isn't as good as the semi-final performance, but I just didn't care. This song kicks ass no matter what.

1. Loreen - "Euphoria" from Sweden

Yep, this is best song of Eurovision 2012, and coincidentally, the winner of Eurovision 2012. Where do I begin? Everything about this entry is perfect. The song has a sing-along-to chorus, catchy eurobeat backing and impressive rising vocals. The performance is the best one on Eurovision I have ever seen (granted, that's not saying much), very simple, with mainly just singer Loreen dancing with minimal lights in the back, and is joined by only one dancer. The snow, the Kate Bush-esque dance moves, the simplicity of it all is what makes it great. Loreen herself is one of the most beautiful people I have seen. But her voice is amazing with this song, not one wrong note (while dancing as well!), not one wrong foot. If there is such a thing as perfection, it would be this.

So, that's it from me for now. My dad came home with another Eurovision DVD for us to watch. Father/daughter bonding never sounded so cheesey! Until next time, and until next year, see you in Stockholm!


P.S Worst song overall was Israel, and the most underrated song was France.