Mediocre Movies: The Parole Officer

So, let's talk about Steve Coogan for a moment. I'm not his biggest fan (though my friends may not believe me), and it's mainly because I don't like the awkward comedy wheel to which he revolves. But that doesn't mean that I don't like some of his stuff. Like 24 Hour Party People or even Around the World in 80 Days, which is probably one of the worst adaptations ever made (and one day we will get to it). I still don't understand why he appears in so many kids films, and always in supporting roles. Well, apart from The Wind in the Willows. Wow, doing this introduction has made me realise just how many films of his that I've seen. Anyway, let's take a look at Coogan's first staring role directed by Australia's own John Duigan.

Probation officer Simon Garden (Coogan) is forced to move from Blackpool to Manchester after everyone in his department complained against him, and then just to make his day worse he witnesses his boss, Detective Inspector Burton (Stephen Dillane), murder an accountant. Now, the only way to clear his name is to steal the security tape that documented the crime with the help of George (Om Puri), Jeff (Steven Waddington) and Colin (Ben Miller), his only three successfull probation cases. They are then joined by Kirsty (Emma Williams), a feisty teenager who had drugs planted on her by Burton, and they get help from police officer Emma (Lena Heady). But will they be able to get the tape out without getting arrested in the process? (Obvious spoiler: They get the tape.)

So, by now you've probably noticed the first problem with this film. The main character is a probation officer rather than a parole officer. I guess The Probation Officer didn't have the same ring. The second problem with this film is that it's very predictable, but one shouldn't hold that against it. There are a lot of enjoyable films that are incredible predictable, and no one seems to care. It's the parts in between, the deviations in the script from other films in the same genre. And how does The Parole Officer stand up when viewed from that light? Well, a little hit and miss. There are some obvious jokes that they make at times, including one scene with a statue and a giant penis featuring a cameo from Simon Pegg. But the actual heist is quite ingenius in parts, mainly because the gimmick for this heist is that they're all amateurs and barely know what they're doing. For example, instead of ski masks they use insect masks and crazy string to block up the cameras.

Of course, this does mean that the heist is the best part of the movie, which is true. The forced romance between Coogan and Heady is just that, forced all the way. And in a really awkward, embarrassing way as well. Considering Coogan wrote this, I can only assume that he just wanted a make out scene at some point. Apart from Heady's character (who really is wasted in this), the other side characters are really fun, especially the crew that Simon puts together to rob the bank. And out of them, especially Emma Williams as Kirsty, who is the smartest out of all of them, really. The villain is nicely camp, but not overly so. He is able to be menacing when he needs to be. And he does have some of the best lines.

 
But now we come to the crunch. Is this mediocre? Well, kinda. If you're a fan of Coogan, or of his style of comedy then you should like this. If you like heist movies, even the silly ones, or parody movies then this might interest you. But otherwise, I'd give this a miss. It's by no means terrible, but it is rather ... predictable. I'm sorry, but that is one of the most accurate words to describe it. But now that I can put my critic hat away, I'm going to say that I do really like this film, awkward Coogan moments and all. Call a little bit of a guilty pleasure. Though I do think that the side characters are better than the main character, which is not generally a good thing.

So, to end this little review, I'm just gonna say that if you want something a little silly to pass the time, then this could be it. I do know it has cheered me up in the past week while I've been lying on my arse feeling sorry for myself. Dunno what will happen with this blog after next week when I start uni for the first time. Which I'm still a little apprehensive about. Wish me luck, readers. Until next time.

Movies I Watch While Sick

Yes, I know it has been a long time, but I don't care. I have been doing absolutely nothing and it has been glorious. And even though this title assumes otherwise, I am not sick. However, I will be getting my wisdom teeth out in a couple of days. And so I went looking for some films that other people watch when they feel under the weather. And I noticed that everyone kept putting the same films on their lists. Not that they were bad films, no. I love Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Star Wars. But they aren't what I watch when I'm sick. So, let me tell you my favourite movies to watch when I'm sick, and maybe you'll find some different ones you haven't seen that you might next time you feel like throwing up. But enough exposition, let's begin!

10. Purple Rose of Cairo

My mum borrowed this movie for some reason, and I don't think she ever watched it. And I was bored with labyrinthitis pissing off my head and I just needed something to watch and distract me. The premise for this film intrigued me and after watching it, it became my favourite Woody Allen movie. And it did distract me from my spinning head. Also, it has one of the best bittersweet endings ever! I'm still surprised no one else thought of this idea before this came out, and I still don't know why no one else has thought to use it since. But no one else could do it better than Allen.

9. Arsenic and Old Lace

I hope my mouth doesn't hurt too much after my teeth are gone because this will be the first film I am watching when I get home from the hospital! People say that laughter is the best medicine and if that's so, Cary Grant is the best doctor around. If ever anyone feels crap, then this film will make you laugh no matter what! And yes, I will be using a lot of exclamation marks! I love Cary Grant. I think he's one of the greatest actors ever, and his reactions in this film are perfectly over the top! It's also one of the best comedies ever made, with excellent support from Peter Lorre, Raymond Massey and Josephine Hull. The only problem with this is that it's too funny! You could die laughing from Grant's overacting, not that that's a bad way to go!

8. The Valet

If you are sleepy, then subtitles are probably not a good idea. But if you can keep yourself awake then this is an excellent French comedy. It's fun and gentle, and more original than a lot of American romantic comedies. And Daniel Auteil and Kristin Scott Thomas are in supporting roles! What more could you want? How about Alice Taglioni in one of the lead roles? Well, throw in Danny Boon and Virginie Ledoyen for good measure! But the cast isn't the only good thing about this film, the script is also pretty hilarious! But if you don't believe me, go and rent it yourself! No seriously, go and rent it. Now!

7. The Actors

If anyone ever needed proof that Dylan Moran could act, then this is it! This is a very silly film, with more plot than is necessarily and also an excellent cast. Michael Caine, Michael Gambon, Miranda Richardson, Lena Heady. Yeah, it isn't that amazing, but for me it's cute and funny and while the plot does seem a little convoluted at times, the acting makes up for it. And the comedy. It is a very funny film. And if you liked that one, another film that is underrated and funny if highly convoluted is the Welsh film The Baker. Also silly, another great cast and very good at distracting from annoying stomach cramps.

6. Five Children and It

I don't know what it is about kids movies, but they are really soothing when you're sick. It's probably a mix of the innocent characters, the obvious plotting and the ultimate happy uplifting ending. My mum (again) bought this one from an op shop because Kenneth Branagh was in it, but she never watched it (again). I only watched it because Eddi Izzard was in it, and also nothing else interested me at that moment. And then I loved it. And now, if I'm sick, this ends up on my watch list somehow. There's just something so enchanting about sub-par special effects mixed with kinda clunky dialogue and forced quirkiness. But I can forgive all of those flaws because there is love in the film and it is quite inspirational in a kid friendly way.

5. Guys and Dolls

I think I spent one day singing nothing but my favourite songs from this movie on repeat. So I kinda know this film off by heart, or at least the parts that I like. And even though nowadays Marlon Brando kinda makes me embarassed for him (he is not a dancer, I'm sorry), but I do think that no one can play Sky Masterson as charmingly as he does. Except maybe Anthony Warlow. Again, this is a fun film, with excellent music and it really doesn't require your full attention. And can I just say that Nathan and Adelaide are the cutest couple ever!

4. Earth Girls Are Easy

Yay, another musical! Though this one is a little more stupid. Yay for stupidity! If you're either a Goldblum fan or a Carrey fan, then you need to see this film. If you're a B-movie fan, then you need to see this film. If you're sick, then you definitely need to see this film! And if it doesn't cheer you up, then there is something wrong with you. Apart from the fact that you are sick in the first place. Even a cold-hearted feminist bitch like me likes this film, because sometimes you just want something that rots your brain and makes you laugh.

3. Night at the Museum

I watched this non-stop for a week. I'm not even exaggerating. I couldn't move my head, there was nothing else to, nothing else I wanted to watch and this was entertaining enough for me to watch over and over again. It might have something to do with the supporting cast, I think they get the best jokes out of the whole film. Especially the bromance between Jedediah (Owen Wilson) and Octavius (Steve Coogan). Considering that I wasn't even impressed by the trailer th first time I saw it, it was quite surprising when I actually did sit down and watch it all. Again, it's a childrens movie, it's a little cliched, but that just makes it easier to watch in all honesty. Especially when you feel like the world has taken a shit on you.

2. Hot Fuzz

This is the go to film when I want something familiar and fun and silly and stupid and clever and British and awesome and gore and death and swans and now I'm just listing words. But seriously, this is the fail safe film that everyone seems to like. Whenever things start to die down at a party, we watch Hot Fuzz. Whenever we run out of things to do at a sleepover, let's watch Hot Fuzz. Whenever I'm sick and puking into buckets and towels, Hot Fuzz time! It's the perfect comedy, maybe not for kids but definitely for everyone else. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are two of the best comedic actors/writers around, and I am very excited for World's End to come out and complete the Cornetto Trilogy! But until then, there's still Hot Fuzz!

1. Pret-A-Porter

Wow, that sounds pretentious. What can I say? I first watched it all the way through when I was sick and bored. And in all honesty, it's a perfect sick film. You can fall asleep or wander off and come back later without missing anything important. It's got laughs that are a mix of slapstick and verbal humour. There's the pretty excellent inernational ensemble cast. And you can watch it over and over again and always discover something new about it. Yes, it is incredibly weird to have a Robert Altman film as my number film to watch when I'm sick, but it gets me through. And that's all that really matters.

So, as you can see, this is a fairly personal list this time. I can see why people pick those films that are easy to watch, that they've seen a million times. When I'm sick, all I want to do is lie down and never get up. These films, and quite a few others, make me laugh. And make me forget what's going on with my fucked up body. For a while at least. Until next time readers, wish me luck in the operating chair!