Mediocre Movies: Elf-Man

Usually, about once a year, there comes along an actor that I find myself irrationally drawn to. Last year, it was Kevin Bacon. This year it's Jeffrey Combs. Now, during these periods of slightly scary obsession, I will watch every and all movie/TV series that these actors appear in. This can be both good and bad. Good, because you find really good films like Would You Rather and Stir of Echoes, bad because you feel obligated to watch films like Murder in the First and Elf-Man. Good god, Elf-Man. Gonna tell you now, the best thing about this film is Jeffrey Combs, but sometimes that's not a good thing.

So, the film is about a family getting ready for Christmas when the dad, Eric (Mackenzie Astin), creates an energy chip. Three thieves, led by Mickey (Jeffrey Combs), decide to try and steal the chip, and kidnap Eric to try and get it from him. This worries his kids (Carly Robell and Blake Kaiser), Gramma (Marty Terry), and love interest Amy (Mirelly Taylor), as they wait for him at home. However, they get help from a left-over elf (Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña), who discovers that his elf powers can be used to become a super hero, called Elf-Man.

Okay, so let's begin with the worst aspect of the film. Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña cannot act for shit. He has one emotion throughout the whole film, mildly annoyed, and does not have the necessary abilities to deliver dialogue with anything other than a whiny voice! Ugh! He is so annoying! To be fair though, 'Wee Man' is not an actor but rather one of the guys from the Jackass, so with that in mind I can almost forgive his non-acting. 

But still, why would you hire someone who can't actually act! This whole thing stinks of a cheap cash in, from the gimmicky casting and tired plot. Seriously, the plot is recycled from about 7 different kids films, most obviously Home Alone, and Elf. I grew out of both of those films a long time ago, but while watching Elf-Man I longed for either of them! It's not funny, it's not clever. It's just kinda dull and stupid. 

So, what about Jeffrey Combs? Well, he's one of those actors that is fun watch, even in the stupidest of films. In this, he's over acting to his best ability, but it really doesn't save this turd. Actually, there two other things I liked in this, and they were the grandma, and the Christmas fruit cake gag. The grandma for the first half of the film is kinda funny, especially her entrance. And the fruit cake gag, while weirdly introduced and a bit of a cliche, was the funniest joke of the film. 

So, is this mediocre? No. This is not mediocre. This is terrible! As someone who has seen her fair share of awful Christmas movies, I can safely say that this is the worst Christmas film I have ever seen. But will I watch it every year? Potentially. Such is the pull of Jeffrey Combs for me. And he is the only enjoyable part of the entire film. 

Anyway, I think that this will probably be the last review of the year. Sorry it's not longer, but I have cookies to make and pork to eat! Next up will probably be my year end lists, which I hope to get out in early January. Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this stupid blog, I hope you have an excellent New Years, and good luck in 2015! Until next time, readers.

Top 20 Favourite TV Shows (Part 2)

And now we come to the thrilling conclusion of what my favourite TV shows are. Well, not much else I can add, except let's begin!

10. Soul Music and Wyrd Sisters

So, this is the second double up and this one kinda makes more sense. In the 90s, an animation studio called Cosgrove Hall made two series based on two different Terry Pratchett books. And every Thursday, my mum would rush me home from ballet lessons to get back in time to record it on our VCR. Somewhere in our house, we still have the videos. The animation in this film is not the best, but that doesn't diminish either the story or the excellent prose that is available in every Terry Pratchett book. This was my first introduction to the author, and because I loved the Soul Music TV show so much, it became the first Pratchett book I ever read. And I've read as many as I can ever since! I also might own the soundtrack to that show as well. (And it's really good!) A must watch for any Discworld fan!

9. Midsomer Murders

Ah! The show I always turn to when I need some light hearted fun! Midsomer County is the most dangerous place to live in the UK, and the deaths are the most ridiculous you will ever see! I've talked to my friends many times about the infamous wine episode, the most ridiculous of the lot. But the show keeps together through a number of things, mainly John Nettles as Tom Barnaby and Jane Wymark as his long suffering wife, Joyce. Sgt Troy is also my favourite sergeant, he can be so bumbling and dumb at some times! The mysteries themselves can be surprisingly intense at times,and it's always fun to see well known actors before they were famous getting stabbed in the stomach with a pitchfork.

8. Shadow Raiders

Another animated show from my childhood that I taped and still have the videos somewhere! This seems to be a show that people either remember and love intensely or can't remember a thing about. Which is fair enough, since it was never as popular as other shows similar to it, like Reboot or Beast Wars. But I this one stands out as a really good kids show that shows kids the horrors of war. The plot of the show follows a galaxy of planets who are forced to put aside their differences and stand together against a common enemy who appears in their system, the ominous Beast Planet. It's quite serious, but that's what makes it so memorable. And you really don't get kids shows that tackle the serious business of war in such a good way. If you feel like checking it out, then the show can be found on youtube. One of the best shows from my childhood, and one that re-watch every so often, whenever nostalgia strikes.

7. Community

I was introduced to this show after spending most of one New Years Day watching it non-stop with some of my friends. Since then I was hooked. I haven't watched the latest series', but I will eventually. I just love the characters, they way they bounce off each other ad the way the show incorporates pop culture into it's plots and premises. Of course, it did give me some false expectations about what uni was going to be like. It's been two years so far, an no zombie apocalypse! I am most annoyed! But this is the perfect show to watch with friends, and I have done. Many, many times!

6. Firefly

It should come as no surprise that this is on my list. I'm fairly certain that it appears on everyone's list of favourite TV shows at some point or another. And it should be! The characters, even the smallest supporting ones, are all memorable and interesting. The acting is great. The science works so well, and the special effects support it awesomely. And the stories that follow the crew of Serenity are not only interesting on their own, but also allow the main characters to grow into real people. You become so invested in these nine characters that you really do wish there were episodes of them and their adventures! However, I do think that any more seasons would have destroyed how good the only season that we have is. And in the end, we can't help but be pleased that we do have something of this fantastic show! Not too mention the fantastic movie that followed it!

5. Blackadder

Blackadder is probably one of my favourite shows because it parodies 4 different periods of history so well. The first series is very different from the other three, but that doesn't make it any less amusing. But my own personal favourite will always be the fourth series, Blackadder Goes Forth. It manages to combine the mentality and historical accuracy of World War One with humour and actual pathos. Especially in the last episode. But all every single series is excellent in its own way. Hugh Laurie as Prince George in Blackadder the Third, Miranda Richardson as Queen Elizabeth in Blackadder the Second, and of course the ever faithful Baldrick, played fantastically by Tony Robinson. The way history is presented as comedy is exceptional, which can't be surprising considering it was written by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton. A must watch for any fan of British comedy!

4. Insektors

This is the last animated kids show from my childhood, I promise you! I'm not sure how many people will remember this show, or which version of it they watched. Yeah, there are two English versions of this original French animated series. The one we got in Australia was the North American dub, which makes it hard for me to watch any of the UK dub. But I digress. Again, this was a show that our family taped and that I get down from the shelves every couple of years or so to relive the memories. The story is pretty simple, and black and white, but I do love the animation style (considering when it was made, the animation is pretty top notch) and the characters. Most of the episodes revolve around two factions of insects and their never-ending inability to get along with each other. I love this show, I met some amazing people through the fandom this show spawned, and it was the first show that inspired me to make my own fan theory concerning the lineage of some of the characters! (It wasn't the first show that inspired me to write fanfiction, however. That's another confession for another day.)

3. The Vicar of Dibley

So, this show not only contains one of my favourite characters played by one of the most brilliant comedians ever to grace our screens. It's also one of the best representations of Christianity in popular culture. But I'm not going to wax lyrical about how the Church of England is not only mocked but celebrated as an accepting and forgiving entity. I'm just going to say that if there were more vicars around like Geraldine Granger, the world would be a better place. Again, this is a show that is hilariously funny, but can also contain some quite heavy and serious moments, and it knows how to handle them well without resorting to bathos (I learnt a new word, look it up!). The characters are also hilarious! I love the villagers and their dopey ways, and how their stupidity and misplaced enthusiasm bounces against the intelligence of Geraldine and David Horton. I love this show so much, that I even memorised Alice's butter speech (for a small fee of biscuits, I will quote it to you). But the heart of the show is the vicar, and I think that Geraldine Granger is one of the best characters ever created!

2. Dad's Army

Unlike a lot of titles on this list, this isn't a show that I grew up with. Instead, I just happened to be in the TV room while my dad was watching an episode of it one day. And since then, I've been hooked. Much like Blackadder, Dad's Army is able to create comedy out of Britain's darkest moment. It's able to combine the 'Keep Calm and Carry On' mentality that a lot of people felt during WW2 with humorous adventures surrounding a small town Home Guard. It's hard to put into words how clever this show is, especially if you know about England during WW2. And the stories are told through some of the funniest characters ever seen on television. I love these characters so much, that I can't even watch the show past the sixth series, because it would mean that I could no longer have the joy in watching James Beck as Private Joe Walker. And when I learned that Clive Dunne and Bill Pertwee had also died, I cried for days. It is now my ambition to meet Ian Lavender, and give him a massive hug, while wearing my hand knitted Pike scarf! I wait with excited breath for the new film!

1. Red Dwarf

For those of you who have been reading this blog (and I do thank those of you who have!) then this number one will come as no surprise! Red Dwarf is everything I could want in a TV show; funny scripts, an interesting premise, awesome characters played by excellent actors. And endless re-watch ability. I probably watch this show more frequently than any of the shows on this list (with the possible exception of Dad's Army), and every couple of years or so I find myself taking down the twelve or so VHS tapes of this show and slowly watch my way through all of them. One day I will get the DVDs, and spend a whole week watching everything that's on them! One of the best comedies ever, one of the greatest TV shows ever conceived and apparently, my favourite TV show. Red Dwarf, I give my double Rimmer salute!

So, that's that. I don't know when the next review will be up. It probably won't be a list, but possibly a rather terrible Christmas movie. Possibly starring Jeffrey Combs. Possibly, but who knows. If I don't post anything before then, have a wonderful Christmas! Until next time, readers.