Mediocre Movies: Elf-Man

Usually, about once a year, there comes along an actor that I find myself irrationally drawn to. Last year, it was Kevin Bacon. This year it's Jeffrey Combs. Now, during these periods of slightly scary obsession, I will watch every and all movie/TV series that these actors appear in. This can be both good and bad. Good, because you find really good films like Would You Rather and Stir of Echoes, bad because you feel obligated to watch films like Murder in the First and Elf-Man. Good god, Elf-Man. Gonna tell you now, the best thing about this film is Jeffrey Combs, but sometimes that's not a good thing.

So, the film is about a family getting ready for Christmas when the dad, Eric (Mackenzie Astin), creates an energy chip. Three thieves, led by Mickey (Jeffrey Combs), decide to try and steal the chip, and kidnap Eric to try and get it from him. This worries his kids (Carly Robell and Blake Kaiser), Gramma (Marty Terry), and love interest Amy (Mirelly Taylor), as they wait for him at home. However, they get help from a left-over elf (Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña), who discovers that his elf powers can be used to become a super hero, called Elf-Man.

Okay, so let's begin with the worst aspect of the film. Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña cannot act for shit. He has one emotion throughout the whole film, mildly annoyed, and does not have the necessary abilities to deliver dialogue with anything other than a whiny voice! Ugh! He is so annoying! To be fair though, 'Wee Man' is not an actor but rather one of the guys from the Jackass, so with that in mind I can almost forgive his non-acting. 

But still, why would you hire someone who can't actually act! This whole thing stinks of a cheap cash in, from the gimmicky casting and tired plot. Seriously, the plot is recycled from about 7 different kids films, most obviously Home Alone, and Elf. I grew out of both of those films a long time ago, but while watching Elf-Man I longed for either of them! It's not funny, it's not clever. It's just kinda dull and stupid. 

So, what about Jeffrey Combs? Well, he's one of those actors that is fun watch, even in the stupidest of films. In this, he's over acting to his best ability, but it really doesn't save this turd. Actually, there two other things I liked in this, and they were the grandma, and the Christmas fruit cake gag. The grandma for the first half of the film is kinda funny, especially her entrance. And the fruit cake gag, while weirdly introduced and a bit of a cliche, was the funniest joke of the film. 

So, is this mediocre? No. This is not mediocre. This is terrible! As someone who has seen her fair share of awful Christmas movies, I can safely say that this is the worst Christmas film I have ever seen. But will I watch it every year? Potentially. Such is the pull of Jeffrey Combs for me. And he is the only enjoyable part of the entire film. 

Anyway, I think that this will probably be the last review of the year. Sorry it's not longer, but I have cookies to make and pork to eat! Next up will probably be my year end lists, which I hope to get out in early January. Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this stupid blog, I hope you have an excellent New Years, and good luck in 2015! Until next time, readers.